Fake

This word can crush me in one shot, doctors and loved ones use it without knowledge of the weight this word actually has.

Some things I've heard from people that anger me and ultimately hurt me to the very core

"Fibro isn't like that, I think you are faking"

"How can you be able to run yesterday and today when I ask to do something you can't walk? You must be faking"

"You're just faking to get sympathy"

"You can't have that many problems, you must be faking."

"You did ______ last time why can't you do ______ this time, you must be faking"

"You wouldn't be able to do that with your condition, you must be faking."

"That didn't look like it was painful, you're faking."

Well cause I don't yell into their faces (even though I really want to) I am going to yell here!

I AM NO F***ING FAKE! I suck up the pain to the best of my ability as to not look weak, I'd scream, I would just run out of breath, I'd cry I'd just run out of tears. When I run, there must be something I'm running for like my cat who likes the great outdoors while being an indoor cat. I don't want nor need the sympathy of others who don't even know what's going on. How the hell does anyone without fibro know what it does and doesn't contain especially someone learning from google? I am the only one who can say what I'm able to do and not able to do with my condition. And lastly I want to say to those who have used the f word on me, does this look painful *punches in face* well it was painful for me but that was so pleasurable I won't cry.

You know, I just discussed this very thing with my Rheumatologist 8 days ago. He diagnosed me with Psoriatic Arthritis, the Spondylitis type, Sjogrens, Raynaud's. 3 Autoimmune diseases, 2 are systemic, meaning they affect everysingle cell of the body. I went to all sorts of specialists, was told I was an attention seeker, drug seeker, depressed, even had a grand diagnosis of 'STIFF' by a Neurologist. I told him I was still angry about this, he told me that the best thing I could do is to sit down and write them all a letter, including the first Rheumatologist who found nothing wrong with me, not even Fibro, and explain that had they just looked at my pitted fingernails, they would have had their main disease diagnosed. He explained that nothing else pits the fingernails. He added that they certainly would not like it, but it may help other patients who come after me.

And yes, we do have good days! We really do! I don't even bother with people who treat me like that anymore, they don't care about you in the first place if they treat you in this manner. Sorry, you just feel that way after several years of it! If they mean that much to you, take them to the Dr who diagnosed you and is currently treating you, and hope they can get through to them.

So sorry you and other have to go through this, when someone I care about is diagnosed, I do extensive research to educate myself on their condition! Ignorance has no bounds.

It's tough. I mean, it's one thing when someone who doesn't know you says this but when your loved ones can be as dense as a brick, it really hurts. And the odd thing is that sometimes they understand the fibro and other times they don't. So does that mean they just are humoring us when they seem to understand it?

The truth is NO ONE understands what fibro is like unless they've been through it. The closest comparison I could make would be to tell someone to imagine they had the flu badly, and were all achy, and then someone came over and beat them with a baseball bat.

More than being sorry that you have people who don't understand, i'm sorry that you've got fibro in the first place. But you know that I believe you and the others here do too. Sorry we can't be the people who SHOULD understand but life never seems to work linearly like that. But regardless, we are here and we do believe you and DO NOT believe you are faking it.

BTW, I think your slogan should be made into a tee shirt.

I like your style! Sad but true it is! When you have this ‘invisible condition’,no one really gets it. So what happens then? We just can’t even be bothered to mention it! Then we lose friends etc! You know, that’s why I’m here. Because without someone who understands, we can slip easily in to a huge depression. So thank you for being here!