Nighmares and ankle pain

General
1

Good Morning,

I hope this finds you all on a good day. The holidays are so stressful and I have been in a downward spiral for about 3 weeks now. My shoulders feel like hot pins pushing in the joints, all my joints hurt. My ankles hurt and one night I woke up to horrible pain in my ankle. It felt like someone was twisting it around. Both of my ankles lock up, and that ankle had locked up earlier in the day.

Does anyone else wake up with the shakes? I do most every day, and a lot of time it is pretty shaky. This morning wasn't too bad. As long as I am on the subject of sleep and waking up, I have had some terrible nightmares that I have awakened from crying. One was my daughter and I were running from something or to something, not sure. I turned around and saw my daughter get shot in the chest, omg...this just brings tears to my eyes. I was trying to tell her brothers what happened and they didn't care. :( The other nightmare I had was my daughter Sarah, son Adrian and I were leaving here. I remember feeling desparate but have no idea where we were going. The kids were crying and it seemed like we were trying to get away from something/someone.

So along with not being able to lay on my sides because of my shoulders hurting, I haven't gotten a lot of sleep. Then toss into that, Christmas and Christmas gifts. I had to tell the kids it isn't going to be a big Christmas, there will be a couple of gifts each for them under the tree. I also reminded them what Christmas is about. My son is all about Christmas, not the gifts, but why we have Christmas. My daughter, who just turned 13 wasn't so happy, but I think she'll get over it.

Sarah is going through something as well. She has had 2 office referrals, the last one she got detention. She pulled up Google on the school computer, knowing that is not allowed. She promised me she wouldn't do it again. She broke that promise when she went around tying inappropriate things in passwords on other computers, an example was "unicorn turds". This time she got detention. If she does it again, she gets suspension, and once again she has told me it won't happen again. I hope not.

Back to Christmas, the only tree I could afford is a 3 ft white artificial tree. It's pretty and Adrian likes it. He told me we didn't even have to have a tree to get presents. He is growing and changing so much, it's exciting to see his views expand, the compassion he shows for others, it's awesome.

I seem to see black in front of me, seems I can't see the light right now. When the kids are gone, the only thing I know that I certainly will have is the pain. That's bad enough. My older kids won't even talk to me, I invited them over for a holiday meal, they could pick the day and no one answered me. I posted Happy Birthdays to my oldest Jason and my third oldest Jordan and they deleted them from their page. It just tears me up inside. I have so much going on I feel like I am on overload. I hate the long, cold, dark winter nights, all I want to do is go back to bed..I don't know, I really need you all.

I am going to post a few pictures, seems it helps to stop the tears.

Gentle hugs to all

2

Hi Dawn,

I have ankle pain, but mine is arthritic joint damage,my left is worse, and more swollen. Perhaps ask your Dr about it, if he doesn't mention having an X-ray, then maybe you should!

I am sure that you will give your children a lovely Christmas.

Hope that you feel better very soon,

Hugs,

SK

3

Hi Dawn,

Wow, I'm sorry that things are so tough for you right now. That's a lot to be going through!

It may be too late but the Salvation Army puts out an angel tree for families like your own who are facing tough times financially. Your local Baptist church might be able to help as they are big on helping the local community.

I'm no therapist but is it possible that your daughter is acting out because you are sick and she is scared? Also, maybe she feels your illness takes up more time than she wants? Kids that age are all about "look at ME," and don't realize that more is going on in the world. Maybe you could try to ask her about what she's feeling when she's writing the rude phrases. I would suggest trying during a relaxed time when you two are together having some mother-daughter time. I always talk talk talked with my son, so he knew he could talk things out (if not with me then with someone he trusts.) Maybe you could even ask her if she gets angry or scared over your illness and then be prepared to reassure her - realistically - about her place in your life and your illness. Again, I'm no therapist but it sure does sound like she's trying to get your attention in the worst way.

As for your older two children, do you have some unresolved issues with them? Since they both responded in the same way, is there some dynamic going on that affected the both of them? Do they have a reason to be upset? Have they asked you to listen to them in the past and is the silence linked to that? Was there some fracture in the family that their behavior is in response to? I'm just trying to get a sense of what their issues are, so I apologize if my questions seem pushy. I don't expect you to answer them here. It might be worth thinking about on your end, though. Or else, perhaps even asking them about.

As for Christmas itself, for thousands of years people celebrated it simply, without any presents. If you ask me, the materialism aspect of it has gotten quite ugly. Why not try to do some fun family stuff together, as your health permits, like stringing popcorn together to make garland, or making a gingerbread house or ginger bread men if you can afford it? What about reading some special stories to them? Maybe you could get something family oriented, like something written by Louisa Mae Alcott (Little Men), and read it aloud to your son...and I'll bet your daughter would roll her eyes but also listen. Or how about giving her a beauty hour as a gift? Do up her hair, put on some very simple, basic makeup, or else if that's too advanced, do her nails. I saw a girl with GORGEOUS nails....red underneath with some gold glittery nail polish painted over the outer 1/2 of the nail (from the outer edge to the middle) to make it look Christmasy. A kid would probably love it.

I hope some of that is helpful, Dawn. Maybe you could also use to visit your GP and tell him of your feelings. Maybe an anti-depressant could help too. Heaven knows, the pain puts us in such a bad place mentally...while the anti-depressants helps us to cope.

With hugs and stories from Louisa Mae,

Petunia

4

I too have horrible nightmares when the pain is bad. I usually wake up my husband screaming or crying. Most are so real they seem more like hallucinations. Asto sleeping, I have been sleeping in the lazy-boy the last 3 years, with a heating pad under my hips and an electric throw on my legs. It takes the pressure off my joints. I'm sorry for your family troubles, a family should be supportive. Don't worry about them right now. You need to look after you. You'll make the pain worse by stressing about things you can't control. And keep talking, we're here for you. Take care :)

5

My nightmares started before cymbalta. Also before fibro, when ever I was really sick.