It does sound like fibromyalgia to me. A tiredness that NEVER goes away, ever. A flu and ache, that never really gets to a real flu, but always feels like you’re just coming down with the flu. Strange soreness, like you’ve bruised yourself in multiple places, but you know you haven’t hurt yourself! (“Hmmmm? I don’t remember rolling drunkenly down a hill! Why do I hurt like this?”)
I remember always wincing when I put my seatbelt on – the seat belt catch brushing over my hip area near my butt cheek, would make me flinch with pain, and sometimes yelp! This was 15 years before I was diagnosed. Weird tenderspots.
Massages were hit or miss with me – sometimes they make things MUCH worse. I don’t like to be touched or hugged, (except for my kids, or my partner, or pets) because of my sensitivity issues.
Getting the fibromyalgia diagnosis two years ago was a relief, as it explained SO much of how rotten I’d been feeling (I’d been spiraling down for 4-5 years prior, but I’ve had this condition for much longer). I’ve been in denial for the last two years though, trying to muscle through my life, like nothing was really wrong.
In the last year there’s been some stressful events (ha ha, major understatement!), and OMG, my body and condition just went klaplooie! So, I completely understand feeling emotional about all this. I’ve transitioned from denial to the anger stage of the spectrum, but it’s emotional, just the same, and I’m right there with ya!
That’s the only good part about being sh*t on by all the medical community, and derided by coworkers (“you’re just lazy!”) or family – you eventually move from scared and depressed to pissed, and there’s some SERIOUS power in that anger! Ain’t nobody gonna treat your condition or ignore your pleas when you’re in the anger stage! I’ll kick those folks to the curb. I seriously don’t have time for them in my life.
So, SJB, I guess, keep posting, keep researching, and keep searching for a people in your circle who will support you. You will move beyond the scared stage – maybe eventually we’ll be in the “Acceptance” stage, and can be all Zen and at peace with this chronic illness, and feel more empowered.
Here’s to peace and a pain free day!
