I have been diagnosed with fibromylgia since 2012 but I believe ive suffered from it for a long time before then even.I battle with pain and exhaustion every day. I have been married for 4 years. But my husband is unwilling to understand my condition and dosint support me at all. He expects me to be perfect and I am to tired and sore to be what he expect. I am feeling very alone. That is my reason for joining this group.
Hi P, That sounds really hard and I’m sorry you feel alone. Have you tried printing him out some easy to understand info about your illness. He may find it easier to accept? Good luck x
Ah hon, family and friends can certainly have a hard time understanding and I am sorry that is happening to you. Have you tried showing them some articles about what it is like with a chronic condition? Here are a couple we have posted here on the site. http://forum.livingwithfibro.org/forum/topics/how-to-cope-when-chronic-pain-affects-friends-family-social-life. http://forum.livingwithfibro.org/forum/topics/helpful-things-to-say-to-someone-in-chronic-pain
You can also google "the spoon theory" and it will bring up a great illustration of life with a chronic condition.
Hang in there and please come here as often as you need for support. Hugs.
Hi guys yes I’ve done all that and took him with to docs ect. He says he understands everything but he seems to think I am making it worse than it is. He dosint do anything to make life easier. I am surrounded by stress at work and home. I recently got a puppy and we have a cat. I find pets are therapeutic. Shes a yorkie pup of 4 months and as sweet as can be. But we batteling with toilet training and so he argues with me constantly about it. I need to just accept that im in this alone and carry my cross.
Hello Pbeal,
I'm so sorry to hear you are having a hard time. My heart goes out to you. Be assured you are not alone, tho', there is always someone on here who understands what you are going through. It is sad your husband is unwilling to understand, have you other family members or friends you can turn to? I wish you luck with your toilet training! Have a look around here, there are groups you can join. Whatever happens let us know how you are getting on.
Take care, Anne
Sometimes it just takes men a little longer to understand. My husband is very supportive, but doesn't always know the best way to pull 'supportive' off. Like if I have to pick up your dirty clothes that may leave me less energy to do something else.
Have you read the spoon theory? http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/articles/written-by-christine/the...
Take care of yourself.
So sorry you feel alone. But on this site there are a lot of people who understand even when people in your personal life don't.
It can be frustrating when your loved ones don't understand. When I told my parents about my diagnosis, my father did a little research. And I do mean a little. His words to me "Well, at least it won't kill you". Without screaming (which was the first reaction) I simply asked "Did you read the part that some days you wish it would so you could just be done with it?". I asked him if he remembered starting to walk on a treadmill. He said "Yes". I asked if he remembered the ache in his calves the next day. Again he said "Yes". I asked if he remembers getting used to it. And again he said "Yes" Then I asked "What if you didn't get used to it? What if every day you got out of bed feeling like you'd walked 5 miles on a treadmill yesterday for the first time?" He made a strange face as it dawned on him. Now he just tells me he hopes I'm okay. Some people don't understand pain until you put in terms they can understand. Some will never understand.
It's why we're here. Because here, we do understand. Anything you want to know, there is someone who can help you answer them.
Best wishes to you
Hi there barbie, thanks so much for your kind reply. It is frustrating when you feel you are fighting an up hill battle alone. I have gotten accustomed to relying only on myselF. But as you know the emotional aspect of fibro. There are days when I just cant cope. I work 7am to 5 then cook and clean do the dish pack hes lunch and do pilates twice a week also in charge of taking our puppy for a walk and keeping her entertained, so that she dosint irate him.All with out a complaint. But its still isn’t enough. This morning I said to him. Wow ive been having such a bad fibro week. He looked straight at me and started talking about something he needs to do. Slef centred much? South Africa is a tuff country. Were my illness is viewed as nothing compared to what else is happening. So not allot of support or sympathy is given. That is why its so nice to have people on here that I can talk to and not feel like im moaning or boring them.
@ AnneV thanks for the support. My family lives in another province miles away. And I have some friends i talk to but I don’t do it often. As I dont want them to think im a hypochondriac or a moaner. I have one friend who really tries to understand but she’s fighting her own battles.
Hello Pbeal,
You are welcome. I am impressed by what you do, you sound like a very strong lady! I know what you mean about not wanting people to think you are a hypochondriac, or always moaning. I am glad to hear you have 1 good friend, and I suspect she values your friendship as much as you value hers.
Take care, Anne
I admire every person with fibro ect. If you are able to get through the day. U r a strong courageous person. We fight a war against our bodies every second of every day. And every day we survive we get stronger. Ive been fighting this war for so long that I’ve had to get strong in order to survive.