2021-06-15, Tuesday
Sleep: 9h, up 4x (1h20) 
Feeling 90% well, pain 1 of 7 
To tame 
myself: 
A big “No!”-post-it on my screen. 
Write down exact times for sleep breaks (& fw?), not rounded. Preferably no making music after 15:00 until I’m tamed more…
Sleep details
Passiflora 20:30, GABA 21:05
21:20-
23:30: 20’ (p) pain-b4-pee: 3 of 7. Tooth pain every now & again in the last few days, e.g. when stretch-twisting my neck. 2x drink
0:23: 25’ dozing; praps up too long just now, twitchy shoulder, thumping pulse, hot flush (put on warm socks - too much in the heat?) → 6.
1:09: 30’ dozing; shoulder better, but still pulse & hot flush. i: music/earworm (= putting one chord softly later, using a plop organ instead of a piano; did it too late; work a bit too) RR 7x & CFS. 2nd socks off again. If this is the result of being up too long in the first sleep break then it wasn’t worth it. Neck not too good, I think cos I started off with the small pillow by mistake.Gums a slight bit irritated too, repeat gums & do Marigold. Dry mouth → drink first.
I’ve put an enormous red digital post-it in front of all this, saying “NO!FW”, let’s see…
5:35p no p-pain, but stiff pain, + 350mg GABA. sore throat/cold: Drink, Marigold, 2nd socks back on.
And write down the exact minutes, not rounded to 5’, so I no longer round my sleep break to 5’: Every minute counts 
7:40p 24’ all good again, warmed now. Dry mouth → drink. Trying successfully 10’ to get a frightened pigeon out of the bedroom despite a fly screen it kept flying into has ever so slightly disturbed my trance, let’s see if I can still sleep further. Aw, no, besides I need to get up a bit earlier and go to bed earlier instead.
2h40+7h40-(20-25-30-5=)1h20=9h, up 4x (1h20)…
Activities: 3h45 Feeling 90% well, pain 1 of 7
Table tennis apparently too relaxed first, I suspect cos of too much GABA…
Activity-details: Music 1h40, cycling 40', TT 0!:6, then 4!!:6, 1h25
Music 40’, then music lesson 1h (standing all the time!, but getting fidgety, Achey, unrelaxed).
Cycling 8+8+10+10+5=41
TT was totally strange 
. I’d expected to win like last Thursday. When I realized the balls were not doing at all what they were sposed to I decided to relax even more, feeling I was getting into a strained mode. The first 6 games I had no chance. But I had all my energy as I had been relaxed the whole time and acupressure before had given me 100% energy. For the 7th I pushed myself to put more energy into it. Then suddenly I started getting balls & points without too much energy, playing more precisely. Other factors like thirst and tooth-gum pain stayed the same, slowly needed to pee. My mate was getting tired, but that doesn’t explain why I wasn’t and why the precision - fine motor skills - was back. As opposed to Thursday I’d slept pretty well, had a a good day. It doesn’t really change the fact that GABA seems the most likely problem, in comparison to Thursday: too much. Also my pee-pain is slightly increased today, which is what it was sposed to be improving, so there’s not really a reason to keep it up at 1100mg, unless someone can explain or point out something else to me???
Treatment: 4h30 (1h15 self, 2h20 acupressure, 55’ therapy)
Too much GABA, I suspect
Effects of !750+350mg GABA (!both in capsules), 3x290mg passiflora: too relaxed!!
Keeping the same dose as yesterday to see if acupressure may be the difference to make TT easy again. I took it quite a bit later tho, at 5:35. I had good energy, esp. 100% after acupressure, full speed cycling without exhaustion. TT - see above - showed if at all that it relaxed me too much to be able to play precisely, until I hyped myself. And pee-pain several times around midday suggests that more doesn’t mean less pain, altho I don’t understand how that works.
Effects of acupressure...
Loins still great before, she treated them again, afterwards loads of energy and relaxation. But I had the same relaxation on Thursday.
Physio-type self-treatments: 1h12, fibro-work 2h15
* Timing, AuTr 10’, gums 2x30’’, hunchback-hard-cushion 15’, thumbnail 14x30’’, RR 7x2’, neck 1+ 4’, cold shower (10’), palpate 2’, belly 2’, back 5’, = 72’…
workout ', neck 2 ', yoga ', loins ', marionette-hang ', breath-hold ', shaking dance ', *
Fibro-work: Night: 10’ 23:35: 15’ 15’ 8:05: 18’ 17:45-19:12: 1h27 = 2h15
RR: 1:25 avg: 127/74 52, too high for night. Q: Is it the pressure making the low pulse thump the last few days? At night my shoulder was twitching due to the thumping pulse. When I realized that I cd just leave it and do AuTr instead.
Therapy 55': Not learning hygiene, not getting love from my parents, !!seeing how they put work, formalities etc. before self-care shows how much self-care I've taught myself. As a guideline for my actions I can consider whether what I'm doing might be automatically copying my parents (that's nothing really new or helpful):...
Today, I started off reporting my thoughts on allowing myself to do a bit of fibro-work at night etc., my GABA adjustments and successes, e.g. drinking water and getting up at 6:20.
Main question / task from my psychologist today was to think about which belief systems I have or may have adopted from my parents regarding health. Main points were that both my parents cdn’t much regard their opposites (incl. us kids) as a “You”. My father (introvert) saw/treated people as objects, incl. me and himself, she analyzed fittingly. My mother (extravert) is vague, everywhere and nowhere, like a butterfly, but can’t really listen or explain her own feelings. My psychologist was pretty shocked that they didn’t show/model/teach me/us any hygiene, which meant I smelt as a kid until my first girlfriend shyly told me and I started learning it myself, not really possible as my mum didn’t wash more and didn’t allow me and wdnt teach me to use the washing machine myself. And a lot of similarly unpleasant stuff, humiliating, causing anger…
My blog-summary and My fibromyalgia-references
Abbreviations & explanations
Entries start with night meds & sleep, before activities & treatments, because the “night before” is vital. So Fri-day starts with Thursday night, the night before Friday.
Pain "7" = crying (/out) point; my 1 is others 2-3, and due to pacing/treatments
My wife says my 7 is other people’s 12. 1 is probably 2-3. Due to pacing, keeping work down to 25% (12h/wk) and all my treatments (acupressure, GABA) and physio self-treatments I manage to keep getting my pains & Ache down quickly. 3 usually means the Ache, not pains; these I address individually, often automatically and on the fly now, e.g. twist-stretching everything or something specific after getting up.
TIME DATA, e.g. ' = mins, h = hours, 18:10:40', date YYYY-MM-DD
’ = mins = minutes, ‘’ = secs = seconds, h is hours as time length, 3h is 3 hours long, 3:00 is 3am, 15:00 is 3pm. 18:10:40’ means 40 minutes, starting at 18:10, = 10 minutes past 6pm up to 10 to 7pm. The date is the logical digital standard: YYYY-MM-DD.
SLEEP: slp, w, lbu/LBU, RLS, p, i
slp = sleep; reasons for getting up: w = (a)wake, lbu/LBU: lower back unrest (‘RLS’?), p: pee, i: ideas.
ACTIVITIES: TT, e.g. "5:1"
TT = table tennis, 5:1 = score, usually showing how well I’m feeling: energy, relaxedness & alertness if the first number is much higher than the second.
SELF-TREATMENTS (about everything else...)
The self-treatments listed are only things that I’m spotlighting & rewarding myself for at the mo by counting them; much of what I do at night is self-treatment to get back to sleep or alleviate (1-2h/d), certain regular movements at daytime, like twist-stretching (30’), writing this blog is self-treatment (30’-60’/d), and the further fibro-work is an indirect form.
Self treatments are usually preventative or always have the same positive effect (e.g. cold showering improves Ache and sleep) - at least I do them for that - and I use “” to show what I’m doing to alleviate something and mark it off in the details “/” whether it works well enough for a time or doesn’t’, e.g. Ache cold fast shower “”
fw = fibro-work, meaning reading and writing this blog, the reference base, on 4 fibro-forums and researching fibro-stuff on the web.
AuTr = Autogenic Training (usually to actively get - back - to sleep, so counting it as sleep and AuTr…),
cold/FCS = Flash Cold Shower (20’’-60’’) , I count it as 10’ tho.
breath-hold/WHM-B-H = Wim Hof Method Breath-Holding,
Neck 1 is stretching top right to bottom left, vice versa & sky/ground, neck “1+” is stretching far further diagonally downwards, neck 2 is pressing my head against my hand “without moving”, left right and front.
loins = loins/groin = stretching the ligaments there.
ex = exercises
HWB = Hot water bottle,
RR = bp = blood pressure (Riva Rocci), plus pulse. Used to be normal, plus sometimes white coat syndrome, went up since fibro, seems to have gone down again, but I’m still sort of on meds, candesartan 16mg, instead of 8mg plus lercanidipine, cos I saw that c. has less side effects.