Day -3
10-12am: No pain anywhere, but tired, weak and aching.
My table tennis mate remarked that he should help me pick up the ball again more, because it’s only a back problem for him, whilst it is a general weakness problem for me. Hmpff. I’ve been thinking I’m OK and my wife & him who are around me for longer amounts of time see that I’m just adapting at a much lower level. My wife is suffering from it. Woke & got up from me saying “Ow, ow, ow.” Thinks we’re talking about it more than 15 mins a day, when I’m sure it’s just that she sees me weak & stiff. Damn. But looking forward to cryo+acupressure 1-3pm, that’s gonna put me up again.
5pm: Not even that helped much. But now I’ve done a prolonged 3x breath-hold 13’ and feel “the power” again. Cycling now… 
7pm: OK, fast walk instead, even harder: completely OK, yaaay! 
Thanks, JayCS!
Since I started taking probiotics daily, a couple of years back, I’ve been better in the IBSD area (meaning, I don’t have as many flares). Also, I know that eating too much chocolate, spicy, or fried foods, will set it off. An elimination diet makes sense - It would take a lot of discipline and self-control.
Thank you so much for the info. It might be a good idea to make a topic under symptoms & treatments for others needing this kind of help. 
JayCS, you are such a fighter. Some days, when I think all of my fight is gone, I see how you are working hard every single day to have a better body and a better life, and it brings me hope. Thank you 
LOL I almost feel like I went on that ride with you! Except that I won’t be out of breath or have sore muscles tomorrow - hahaha. 
Seriously, though, I need to get moving and acquire some of those endorphins! My stretching exercises won’t cut it, alone!
What I did do, on my lunch today, was listen (for the 2nd time) to the first chapter of a self-hypnosis audiobook to “free myself from worry and stress.” It has the sound of the beach and a very calm lady’s voice to meditate with. I’ve never done this before, but my anxiety levels have been sky high (over both medical and personal concerns: step-kid stuff - need I say more??) It might sound silly, but since I’m not really the “being aligned with the universe” type (no offense to those that are!), I insert my own beliefs - maybe a scripture, or use “The Lord” where the lady thanks the universe. My body hasn’t been this relaxed in a while. I don’t know how many listens a week it will take, but I’d rather do this than take more meds…
JayCS, looks like I’m also on the quest to make my body better (Without any overexertion, of course!) 
@AussieMom: Wahay, your quest and first good results … sound great…
Altho I know how to self-hypnotize, do autogenic training & had quickly learnt to relax my muscles all day in the 2 months before (useful, but doesn’t change the pain), it was one of the few positive things in the rheum. clinic that their relaxation modules relaxed me *completely. The room itself was magic: soft lights, lovely music and real running water. The relaxation module itself hurt when I did what the lady said: Progressive muscle relaxation, meaning you tense muscles groups (starting at the bottom, as ever). So I diverted to autogenic training instead, wonderful. So this reminded me. I tried doing it at night in the clinic too, when lights & snoring & thoughts kept waking me up, despite ear plugs & noise cancelling headphones, but cold showering was more effective. I used a youtube clip. Had to search around for a good one…, just tried looking for one in English, but of the first 5, 4 were men, yuk ;-), and the woman doing the 5th one sounded like a siri?-kind of voice out of the future, nothing better either. Me and esp. my wife christianize like you do, too, LOL…
Sleep: long, happy, a bit breathless → breath-hold): 21:45-7:45 = 10h00 - 45’ (30’ drowsing?)= 9h15.
Energy, Ache: 2 of “7” Ex. in bed. (No hot water bottle necessary all night!)
Trying a 3rd room/bed for getting to sleep was no good (esp. mattress).
Bad sore throat (from that room?) → Marigold 2x wasn’t enough → Hot Water Bottle on feet → almost 0!!
Sleep sum this week: 1h15+1h15-40+1h40+35+55+1h40=6h40 more than 8h, so almost 9h/d. Good work!
More: Do thorax ex. & look up more thorax yoga ex.
Keep up: More thorax ex., hair washing, thighs, calves, Marigold, Sinupret, deep breathing.
22: Dreams not about work, altho it’s day -2…:
Summary
1: Went to an old jazz/blues musician to learn his chord-improvisations, made him happy by tugging his table decoration into place better… (?? what does THAT tell me?)
2: My old Mum wanted to buy a sports car. My old dad (actually deceased) explained some Asian plastic table plant watering technology, after I’d wet the living room table with it.
Day -2
Lots of breath-holding (3x1, 1x3) & deep-breathing (300x), etc. Looked up the yoga: Now do 'em!
Shouldn’t’ve cold showered yet (last night), to not spoil yesterday’s acupressure… but better sleep.
Sleep: 21:45-6:45=9h10-25’=8h45=+45. 1am unsettled: → 2x1’ cold shower → 4h without break!
Good, happy, but breathless again, deep-breathed a lot while drowsing → breath-hold ex. soon!
Weak/Ache: 3 of “7”, stiff/gouty/myosfasical 6! (from walk/sports yesterday?) → 7’ workout? Lie down?
Ex. in bed, doubled thorax ex. (No hot water bottle etc. necessary, & Sinupret etc. still working).
Ate late → hunger early 
Just don’t!
Keep up: thorax yoga ex. Always 2x the normal thorax ex. Deep breathe all the time, 500x/d.
Dreams seem OK, altho day -1.
Try if there is a limit for doing the breath-hold exercise: Why not every 2h? (Cuz 3 rounds is 11’?!)
Limit for cold showering 2-3/d is my sensitive/dry skin - I think… But why? - it’s only 1-2’!
Day -1
10:30: Still no better (no TT yet, didn’t lie down enough, didn’t help): 1x3 breath-hold → light (1) again.
11:45: Still OK (1), lower back pain → 4’ lower (→2) & 6’ (→1) middle back Yoga, but →
Ache 3 ** sigh ** & tired ?eyes (5) → eye warming exercises → 2, ⇒ just eyes!(?)
2pm: Eyes 3, exercises → 1, Ache ⇒ 1, stiff still 3/2.
6pm: Felt a bit ill/flu/feverish, deep breathing exercise & while cycling helped.
6-8pm: Eyes 5: Itchy, burning. I don’t look tired. Very relaxed. No heating on. Air cycling helped only a little bit. Are they dry or not? (My 3 Schirmer’s tests didn’t show it, my 3 Saxon-tests showed dry mouth. One more try eye warming… Hmm, worked again, down from 5 to 2. Praps I should try eye drops, if only to see if it’s better. Prefer exercises.
Middle Back Yoga: e.g. https://youtu.be/xqlAXO_K42k, https://youtu.be/qQ6rdsQxaEM
Book: a) prayer-hands: move them sideways,
b) loose swinging: from bottom to above head & back down,
c) heaven press: pretend you’re holding up the heavens.
d) lazy triangle: Foot forward, one hand down, other hand above you, look up to it.
e) blade: fingers on sternum, hand-backs together, head down, knees bent, then open it all up.
f) cow’s face: One hand behind neck, other one on its elbow.
g) sunrise: Lie down, arms up to the sides, more and more to the front.
h) resting frog: Lie head on hands, knees apart like frog’s legs.
Plus: “invisible ball”: hold the side of an invisible big ball in front of you with both hands.
Dry Eye Exercises: a) warm with cupped hands, warmed by rubbing against each other, several times;
b) Gua Sha using a jar lid.
c) massage upper lids & lower eyelids https://youtu.be/bGJqucoHmjs
d) Fresh air? Not helping much…
Talking about my health 
: 1’ yesterday, 4’ (asked) today up to now.
Sleep: 21:25-7:05=9h40-55’=8h45=+45. 2am thinking about a “Better sleep overview”: → 2x1’ cold shower → 2h without break. Good, happy, not thinking about work.
Energy/Ache: 2 of "7.
Ex. in bed (doubled thorax). (hot water bottle after cold shower necessary, & Sinupret etc. still working). Thighs → turned the leg outwards (knee or foot) → 0 in 4’. Dreams seem OK, altho day 0=1.
(#5 Pain before peeing worse yesterday and partly tonight. Nose: stretching tip 2’ helped too. Did autogenic training/self-hypnotic the last 30’ mins of ‘sleep’.)
Keep up: thorax/yoga ex. Deep breathe.
More breath-hold exercise: Every 2h? More cold showering: 4x/d? Do 7’ workout again. Drink earlier in day (5xpee).
Change the benchmark from 8h/d to 9h/d? Seeing I’m almost managing it anyway and so need the challenge rather than the positive thinking part. That’d mean -15’ tonight, not +45’, and aiming for 30’ more to make up for the last 2 days… O.o
That is too cool that you did the self-hypnotize in the clinic - The room/atmosphere does sound perfect! I think that my body had actually forgotten how to relax until I played the audiobook! LOL - I can’t imagine relaxing to Siri - too funny!
I was already slipping back into panic mode, for some reason, and then my step-daughter broke up with her boyfriend. It is fine that she was moving back in with me & hubby (I love her very much, and have helped raise her since she was 5-yrs old), but she was bringing her dog. This is the dog that mauled my pup when she was 4 months old, and caused her to be blind in one eye. They are both here now - so far things are fine. We can only hope they stay that way… We are taking many precautions with the pets to keep them separated much of the time.
JayCS, question:
You know how it feels when they give you laughing gas at the dentist, and your body relaxes, but you are still hyper-aware of everything going on around you? I hate that feeling. I’ve been getting a little of that feeling when I relax my body - but my mind isn’t calm - Does that make sense?
I hate to get on more anxiety meds - Just started a new BP med that is a beta blocker, and that is helping…May need counselling - idk. I don’t want to start having panic attacks again…
Day 0=1
Two good nights, no anxiety, no pain, tolerable Ache - good conditions.
I was at work 9-12h for 3 hours (100’ for breaks), kept my effort down, made sure I never got into a rush, didn’t have any strong reactions, afterwards cryotherapy, didn’t work at first tho, but an hour later I got energy back, managed to play 4 games of TT with no problem, but because I wasn’t sure we stopped there. At home I’ve been lying down writing stuff (30 wakers & stoppers).
Often had itchy eyes, but that wasn’t my focus today. Did a lot of exercises in between for lower and middle back and a bit for the eyes.
Strangely I won’t be able to shower at work, because they’ve got new showers with only one temperature! But I think I’ll do that once I’m home anyway.
I wore my outside stuff inside (windows open everywhere), including gloves with fingertips free.
First thing I want is a blanket and something like a (3rd) jacket, to put round my legs. Could leave one at work. Long johns (got them with me) would be too warm in many of the rooms at the moment.
Hmm… will I make it? The first few weeks should be OK, but December will be the real test.
Talking about my health: 4’, asked how my day was.
Ouch, and that’s not a sad animal movie, it’s a real story, don’t want to try imagine… I very much hope they’re gonna make out now and become best of friends… happy end…
A school mate of mine broke my leg fooling around on ice, but we still stayed friends…
YES, AM, I know exactly what you mean, even tho I’ve never tried laughing gas.
I used to describe as a burning core inside of me like in the earth, which carries on burning even tho everything outside is completely cold = relaxed. At that time I didn’t use autogenic training that much. I needed to get my mind calmer first, targeting my anxiety/social phobia. Never used meds on that, but loads of counselling, help on mailing lists, got it down by doing that, then more and more, and some years ago I found a new knack of staying in the Here-and-Now, which helped me lose one anxiety after the other (over 10), starting with strong fear of heights …
Sleep: 21:35-7:25=9h50-40’=9h10=+1h10, drowsing/autogen.tr/self-hypn. of that 1h, tho…
Good night till 4am, only 2 breaks, but then small pains, cramps, unrest, till I cold showered at 5am.
Good tho, happy, work was there, but not disturbing.
Weak/Ache: 2 of “7”.
Clavicle & elbow & 2 other joints. Resisted the urge not to put heat on it, but waited a bit before creaming. But getting pain down is more important than sleep at the moment.
Keep up: thorax. More breath-holding? More cold showering? Do 7’ workout again.
Changed sleep-time benchmark to 9h/d.
Day 2
Got stressed 15’ getting ready to work, but 5’ autogenic training as soon as I could got that down again.
Cold at work:
Blanket & pillows on the floor instead of a sofa for resting with legs up/half-up while talking to people - welcome to my living/sitting room, guys…
3rd (thick) hoodie around my waist for the thighs, lying down, sitting, standing, good for cycling too, plus it means I’ll always have 3 hoodies I can swap 'em round. So not just for work. Pity, now I won’t have enough motivation to get me a kilt , like a female colleague suggested yesterday.
Boy, am I gonna take some getting used to but then I always was “difficult” that way 
One colleague got all sentimental(!) seeing me back, so I guess I’m gonna get away with it.
New ideas from my cryotherapist/acupressurist:
Standing, hold one leg up at 90° for 30’’, then 30’’ rest, then the other. Or 60’’ if possible… Dunno…
Drink gherkin juice?? - not really relevant it seems to me…
Summary
Don’t get why, but like the idea. Bc of the onions in there I’ll have to gurgle not drink. OK why? https://www.womenshealthsa.co.za/food-and-nutrition/gherkin-juice-benefits/
She told me the good stuff gets taken up in the mouth, but this article suggests it’s the water, probiotics, if with vinegar it regulates blood sugar, some antioxidants - all completely irrelevant! But I just love the taste.
2 new ideas from a male colleague:
Arms to the sides turn them palm up then palm down, he says 30’’-2mins, I say 10’’'ll do me fine.
Burpees?!: Forget it, much too hard! …:
Summary
if you have a certain energy, but avoid injuries: https://youtu.be/tJrdJBWBu08. Oh dear, not a good idea, just did 4, that’s my max. at this moment.
I’d rather keep to the first 5’ of the 7’ scientific workout (much easier to cheat too).
2pm: 1’ of washing potatoes is more than enough. Softy 
. Alternate 2-3 kitchen actitivities…
Hand hurting from chapped bleeding dry skin from cold and water: wear gloves all the time, hand lotion on now. Self-care! Now!
Another 1’, and another, finished. Left face & right shoulder blade are burning, left elbow stabbing, skin itching in several places… Break!
Always had problems with house work, esp. doing something with arms up or working dough. Do better with gross motor skills like sawing… *that’s why I was made a bloke…? Or was it “fibro” long before??
How often to do breath-holding? This guy says 1-2x but in the comments it says: It helps against anxiety. Never thought about that, but it does.
You make a very good point. If the other dog didn’t outweigh mine by 40+ lbs, I wouldn’t be so concerned. She could rip Bella’s throat out before anyone could come to the rescue. And, you don’t get any notice before my SD’s dog gets into “mauling” mode with another animal.
I’ve got a muzzle and we’ve put it on her a couple of times. If they were even close to the same size I could deal with this better.
Maybe the dog will mysteriously disappear one day(???). If she does, I’m sayin’ right now that I don’t know WHO is responsible!!!
Hey, JayCS, congrats on going back to work! It is great that you’re starting back slowly. LOL, if you do end up wearing a kilt to work, please send a pic!
This was very helpful JayCS. I must remind myself that worrying about what “might” happen is pointless and also very draining to my energy. It has been proven that most of the things folks worry over never even come to pass. THANK YOU
Hi AM, OK if just the Here-and-Now-thought helps then maybe I could expand a little.
I imagine(d) & practice(d) standing at some height, that if I am standing, I am doing just that right now: STANDING firm on the ground.
Not falling, not going to fall and not remembering falling.
Every time doubt vexed/-s me I concentrate(d) on my feet (& legs), grounded.
(So not actively pushing the doubt away, not letting it drift away, just ignoring it by putting my focus on what is there Here and Now.)
When I realized that this just needed practicing it was an attitude that surprisingly transferred to other worries automatically.
But in really challenging situations I did & still do actively concentrate on what is Now.
If my “social phobic remainders” imagine what people could say about me on a stage etc. I ask myself how I am and realize firstly I am alone, I am not on stage (yet), nothing is endangering me in any way, if I am shaky I can massage myself, if I have sweaty hands I can wash them. And with every step in that direction I remain calm by repeating “Thank You: Everything is fine, nothing is wrong Now.” So I make a mistake (I always do ;-)) and say: ah, whoops, a slight mishap, there it goes, but everything is still fine. It used to be able to throw me out or make me count & list them and bash myself up, esp. the night after. Nowadays I feel the mistake has gone (‘there it goes’) and in the new Now there is no mistake.
I’m not sure if it’s clear at all yet. I am also then grounded in myself and it’s also self-caring. So the Now is Now in me and may include things like pain, with self-acceptance.