Sarah, That is so wonderful to have a friend to support you like that! You are very lucky, many of us don't have those kind of people in our lives. She must be very sweet, good for you!
And you are 100% right. Your own sanity is more important than anything else. Why is it always family that affects us? I let my cousin's husband, who I had only met 3 times, totally abuse me in emails, so bad that I almost had a breakdown, because I started to believe that I was this horrible person he had said I was. I had to have friends look at what he wrote for their opinions, to make sure that it truly WASN'T my fault. I'm nuts, but this guy is insane. Most of the family has "sided" with him, saying he didn't do anything wrong-- so I basically just walked away from them all. I hadn't had much contact with that side of my family for 23 years, until the past 3 years. And he's taken them away from me again. I will miss them desperately, but my mind and heart are too fragile to put myself in that kind of situation again.
And let them know, "Sweet, Silent Sarah doesn't live here anymore !!" LOL!
SarahW said:
I have a friend who I usually go to church with. yesterday I called her and said I am in a lot of pain. When I am in a lot of pain it takes longer to get moving in the morning. Can we meet for coffee after church instead of me going to church? And she was so understanding! So we are meeting for coffee after she gets out of church. She will pick me up and everything. It's good to remember and acknowledge those little things people do. She's wonderful!
Renie- We do sound a lot a like. That backbone thing is HARD! I'm working on it. The interesting thing is that with people like my family who have known me a long time, they don't so much appreciate when I find my backbone. It has happened a few times in the last month and they get really defensive and angry. I know why that is but it doesn't make it easier. I'm changing the rules on them. They want nice, sweet, silent Sarah who doesn't rock the boat. So when I rock the boat they don't like it. But I am determined to find my backbone and use it! I need to do it for my own mental health.