“Beautiful Letter” I emailed this letter to my Husband last night. He said it really helped him understand me and what I go through. He said he felt bad for doubting me, and guilty for judging me for something he knew nothing about. He promised to always stand beside me and support me the best he can. He also said he can not promise not to be a little selfish at times as he said " He misses Me " and after all he is hurting too. Leanne
Yes, I think some times we are so wrapped up in what is happening to us that we forget that it is also hurting the ones we love. I think they want the old us back as much as went want our old selves back. I am happy for you that he understands now what your dealing with and promised to support you to the best of his ability. I too have a very supportive husband. I am so thankful to God for that. My family is slowly coming around to understanding whats going on. My daughter who is 22, still thinks I should be able to do more. My husband says that one day she will understand. I pray she never has to go thru this. Have a blessed night, Sue.
It is one of my favorite letters as well. It can help alot of people understand. Hugs, Robin
I'm sorry, I missed this, the letter? Charlie :) (sorry if I'm being too nosy)
Here is the link Charlie. www.fibromyalgiatreatment.com/letter_to_normals.htm
thanks Robin, I'm printing it now, Charlie :)
Thanks Robin, I couldn't find the link either.
You bring up a point I had never considered, that others would miss the old me. I guess part of the reason why would be that I know live in a new state, near my parents and brother who never knew the old me because they only saw me twice a year for 25 years. My new friends and only know what/who I am now.
May I say too, what a wonderful husband you must have if he could say all of that...to communicate his thoughts and feelings so openly to you.
Thank you for sharing this.
Yes, I used this with my parents and boyfriend. I also reference it a lot in here. Good read.
I must have missed something–what letter?? Something you wrote or something else ??
I am also lucky in that I have a very supportive husband. My daughter has been very slow to understand but she is
Finally coming around and admitting that she didn’t realize that I have to struggle so much. I sent her a letter that I found on the Fibromyalgia Network site that my husband and I thought was very well written.
Gentle Hugs to all.
My Husband told me that one of the reasons he ignores talking about it, is fear. He said he’s watched me go from being very active when we were first married to just being a shell of my old self. When I was healthy we used to fish together. He would watch me play in tennis tournaments, work 12 hour days in the OR and sad it is very sad to watch. I had no idea that he felt this way. He also told me that he had come to depend on me for many things and now the roles have changed and it scares him. I am going to try not to complain so much around him as I have come to realize that has to be a real downer for him. So I will save that for hear. Hugs to everyone, Leanne
Hi Jackie, it is called the letter to normals. Robin has posted a link to it a few comments up.
Hi Leanne, I must say your husband is a Gem, how awesome to know he is there and trying to understand, and yes it must be so hard for him and scary… Sometimes I stop and think about how this must be affecting my family.
He has communicated so beautifully with you, and yes if we miss our old self… Imagine how those close to us must.
Great post and something for all of us to think about
Hugs & blessings
dee
That was a great idea to wake the hubby up on what you are going through. It is so hard because this is an invisible illness like Bipolar Disorder that has no blood work or exray to prove that you are suffering. Maybe we need to have a big bloody oozing sore on our foreheads so people will say "Wow that looks as if that hurts like crazy." Also the people we love feel hopeless to help us so anger is sometimes misderected.
Leanne, I printed the letter of the computor and gave it to my husband to read. He said is that how you really feel? And then we went out for supper and what a difference, made sure I was ok , was so good not to be vary of what might happen so I enjoyed myself. Lately I have been feeling like I am not understood again, so this letter really helped. I hope anybody that needs to have this letter send to someone who they love and not being understood does so.
Gentle Hugs
Vicky
Hi Vicky, that is wonderful news! I really do think they care, I think fear gets in the way. Lets face it women have always been the ones to hold the family together. When something threatens that they do not know what to do. I don’t mean any of this in a bad way it’s just reality. My husband still asks me where stuff is, how much laundry soap to put in and we have been married 26 years. I am so happy your husband took you out to dinner. It is bad enough to have this illness, but to face it alone is even worse. Hugs, Leanne