I'm tired of the ups and downs. I want to have some consistency. I would love to have one day that was the same as the next (a good day). I feel like I have whiplash from all the back and forth. I never know what to expect from day to day and where the pain, fatigue or body issues will arise. I'm seriously considering taking some leave from work under FMLA to have some time to myself and promote relaxation and wellness; but what happens when my leave ends? I feel rejuvinated on the weekends when I am able to be leisurely and rest, but by Tuesday of the following week, I'm exhausted again.
Work is driving me and my body nuts lately! I just want to be home and on my couch. I would never go back to school to change my field because social work is in my blood. This is what I was meant to do. I couldn't go back to school even if I wanted to with the pain and exhaustion-I wouldn't make it. That education/school part of my life chapter has ended and I don't want to reopen that book. My husband and I need my income. Our medical insurance is through my job as well.
I know I need to live a stress-free, calm life but how do I do that when I have to work and maintain an income?
Check with your company on FMLA it has been a life saver for me the last 2 years I worked I was of 6 weeks at a time. I have a friend that was of one day a week every week but had to change it to being off 1 week out of every month for them to pay. Also check to see if you go out permantly what percent they pay and for how long. With mine I had to file for social security if I don't get it they will still pay till I am 64. Ours were set up so that some conditions were covered for 3 years only.
Sara, me & you are in the same boat! I started feeling bad while at work yesterday & at 5:00 I went home & straight to bed. I did not go in today. I also carry our insurance–I am glad we have it but it is such a burden when I am the sickly one that cannot quit because of the need for insurance to pay for my meds & doctor visits. I think at my work that I have to go thru all my sick & vacation days before I can even qualify for the FMLA. That is unpaid after I use up all the other days. If I can manage to hold up another 4 years, our house will be paid off. Until then… there are a lot of us out here in the same boat & it’s got a big leak in it!
HUGS from Deb
I totally get this....When I wake up in the morning and the pain is (still) there I just don't want to face the day. I wrestle my own kids into their clothes and then I'm off to work. I face 100 7th graders throughout the day and they need me to be wholly present. I grin and smile and genuinely enjoy their company. Then when I go home I've got 3 of my 4 to deal with and I try to do the same for them as I do with my students, but by then I'm exhausted. I really try to be a good mommy. But sometimes when they go to bed and the house is quiet...well...I just cry. I feel like a huge part of the world is hanging on my apron strings. I guess, though, that if you cut those strings, I wouldn't fly but sink. All of my babies give me a reason to get out of bed each and every day. Their smiles, hugs, and success make me smile. They give me something else to think about. I guess I'll have to remember that when I'm so tired I roll my desk chair into the center of the room and "hold court" rather than walking around the room. I guess I'll keep 'em
Thank you for the replies and support. I can definitely relate to each one of you. I'm hoping one day I will be able to "slow down" and "smell the roses" but that is just not financially possible right now. My husband and I bought a house roughly 1 year ago and we are celebrating our 2 year wedding anniversary in February. We are just starting our lives and don't really have the option of slowing down at this moment. I'm hoping to have a child someday as well and I'm sure things will get even busier. Before I can do that, I need to focus on my health for now though, as much as I can even with working a full time job.
Deb: I feel the same way when I get off of work at 5pm. I just want to go to bed and sometimes I do. Other times I push through it and go home, make dinner and then relax. I try to give my husband as much of myself as I can even though I am completely exhausted.
Lilybit: I can relate to that feeling of satisfaction from our employment. Of course there are always disgruntled and unhappy clients, but the thankful and appreciative clients are what we work for and are the reason we do what we do.
Purplebutterly: I will definitely check into the type of coverage my employer offers with FMLA. I have done some research and I believe that I have to exhaust my leave and after that it is unpaid, but I will verify. I don't have a large amount of leave saved up except for a small vacation in February and I have used a lot of my sick leave for medical appointments or being out ill.
I can also relate. I am the bread winner in my family. My husband is on SSDI. I have started a new job hoping it wouls be less stress and easier on my body. Unfortunately it is not. I can not afford to go on disability. Plus with me still being new at my job I don’t want to do FMLA just yet. It becomes too much at times working and then coming home to cook, do laundry etc. I agree it is like having whiplash. You never one day to the next. I am with you on wanting the stree free calm life!