I have been following this group forever, but not posted. I have been in a flare since last September and have used up all my sick, emergency and personal leave at work. I think I will be able to do this and then by midmorning it feels like my plug has been pulled and I am hurting and wondering if I can get disability. I have been working since I was 15 and I just turned 64. That's 49 years!!! I have never been without a job. I have no children, it is just me, my husband and our boxer dogs.
It has been years since I have been able to have a holiday at my house as I just can't clean anymore or cook much for that matter. I have a 12 year old great nephew who has only been to my house once. I know he doesn't understand why. My husband is very understanding and puts up with the clutter and helps keep the house straight. He does his own laundry, eats whatever is easy when I don't feel like fixing anything. I feel like he could do just fine on his own. I sure don't provide much for him. I come home from work and collapse and spend my weekends either in bed or doing nothing.
I just struggle each day to get out of bed and get dressed to go to work. I work in a high school as a receptionist/attendance clerk for 2200 students. I love my job, but you know how it is when you feel so bad. Sometimes I feel like I am being punished for something.
I'm also afraid if I retire and file for disability there won't be enough money. I have retirement through my work place and could take early retirement from Social Security, but it still might not be enough.
I'm worried I will be eat up with guilt if I'm not working as that is my personality.
As you can tell I am a mess. :)
I have fibro, I was diagnosed with CFS, irritable bowel , migraines, interstitial cystitis, anxiety and depression I think due to the fibro.
I just needed to vent and ask for prayers regarding what I should do about taking retirement.
Thanks everyone for listening and I hope you have a peaceful day.
I know how you feel about working, yet feeling so miserable physically. I am a social worker and responsible for a caseload of 1,500+. I work in a Primary Care clinic. I too struggle each day to get up, get dressed and make it to work. Have you considered having your doctor complete FMLA paperwork to give you additional leave at work? I know it is unpaid, but it has helped me significantly when I need stay home due to this condition. As far as retirement goes, I am not even close to being able to retire, so I don't really have any advice regarding that; but I am familiar with the fear of not having enough money to get by because of missing work. Have you considered checking into how much your retirement would be from work and social security? If you are able to get a dollar figure you will be working with, maybe you can trim things down in your lifestyle or expenses to adjust to that income before you quit working; therefore, you would be able to plan better and live off the income that will be provided by social security and your retirement.
I can relate to the feeling of "being punished for something". I struggled with that feeling for a while, but then realized that this diagnosis isn't my fault and I did nothing that would make this happen. It just happened and now we have to find our new normal, whatever that may be.
Maybe there is something you could do at home for income so you could work when you feel up to it, or work part-time? Wherever we can cut expenses helps alleviate my need to work full time even though it’s not ideal. Your health and happiness are more important as long as you have the basics covered. Sorry you feel so bad, I can relate.
Hello! I agree with both Sara & Eve–try for the FMLA & look at what you can cut back on in your finances–then you will know more where you stand, health wise & finance wise.
HUGS from Deb
Hugsssss I am so sorry to hear what you're going through. It is so difficult when you not only suffer, but worry that you're causing issues for those you love. You don't have him locked up.. he is there because he loves you in sickness and in health. I hope you get better soon
I can completely understand where you are coming from. It's takes most of my energy just to work my regular work week. I'm lucky that I've been there long enough that I can take a day here & there or even an hour or two off regularly but I don't usually tell anyone that I'm having an off day or need to rest. Most don't get it.
Anyways, I'm sending you prayer and hugs. I too worry all the time about finances. Right now my job may be in jeopardy because of our new governor's stupid budget cuts!! Don't get me started. I hope things work out for you. Take care!
Thanks to everyone who wrote such encouraging words. We all know that no one can possibly understand what we go through and unless they experience it first hand.
I have spoken to my district about disability retirement and have looked into Social Security retirement as well. I'm still not
sure if it would be enough. My husband is retired and working a part time job. With all necessities these days and how expensive things are it makes you fearful of the future on a fixed income.
I'm so sorry we have to suffer through this, but it's great that we are not alone. Gentle Hugs to all.
Are any of you dog moms? I have had boxers over the years and lost 3 in the last three years due to cancer and age. I have one girl left and she is 13 1/2. I know we won't have her much longer, but are spoiling her
terribly. We will be getting a puppy only after Molly has passed. If anyone knows of a good boxer breeder close or in KY I would appreciate a shout out. Can't live without them. :)
Hey Tina! I have a black lab/chow mix girl named Pepper. She's around 40ish lbs and she's an awesome dog. We've had her for almost 9yrs and she'll be 11 in early August. My other love is my cat, Chester. He's about 6yrs old & we've had him almost 3yrs. He was going to be my daughter's cat but ended up being my son's. When my son went to college, I became his slave. LOL He's good w/ everyone but he's my baby & seems to prefer me. :D Also he and the dog are very attached to one another. I often see Chester going up to Pepper & rubbing under Pepper's head. Pepper will give him a quick lick. It's too cute.
My youngest daughter has a red ear slider turtle. We found him walking on our back porch last year. And last, my mom lives w/ us & she has a JRT name Abby. I like her but she's too noisy for me, just don't tell my mother. We've had a variety of pets since the kids were little but Pepper & Chester are my faves.