This is my first post on here apologies for the long post.
I was diagnosed when I was 13 and I was really poorly when I first first diagnosed. Over the past 20+ years I’ve had good days and bad days and many flare ups but had not had a really bad one like I’m having now for some time. Not only am I in constant pain which tablets don’t seem to help that much, I’m struggling with sleep; either not being able to sleep at all or sleeping too much. Then there is the daily battle with feeling so down and fed up, crying.most days and feeling guilty about not being able to do the things I normally do.
I have a full time day job and my husband has a full time job working nights and we have 2 young children. At the moment I am off work becuase of this flare up and am struggling to look after the kids on my own because of the pain and fatigue. Hte that the kids have to deal with me how I am as well as everything else going on in the world at the moment. I just wish I could be normal and give them everything they need without having to burden other people and impact their childhood.
I know I am lucky in some ways as I know many others in the world and on here have things much worse than I do but I just don’t know how to cope with it any more and how to deal with the constant battle of emotions and thoughts in my head everyday.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post I know there are no magic answers but just being able to post helps in a small way.
I am so sorry you are having such a horrible flare up of the fibro. This flare up will pass I am sure. When I read what you have written I thought wow! Having a full time day job, looking after small children and coping with fibro all at the same time. That sounds amazing to me. Have you any friends/family who could help you at home especially with the children? One thing you must not do is feel guilty for the way things are. or feel ashamed in anyway. I know often I feel guilty when I have to ask for help but I am assured by others they feel it a privilege to be asked. I am glad you wrote what you did because that is what this group is all about, reaching out to others who can understand what you are going through and try ro bring you some comfort and reassurance.
Hi, JM_Mojo!
I wanted to welcome you to the community and to assure you that “ranting” is truly a part of the experience here. We DO understand what you’re going through in a way that folks without FMS can’t, and you don’t ever need to apologize for writing a long post. You are able to share your feelings, thoughts, hopes and rants on this site - Believe me, we all let loose from time to time! And, we will do our best to be supportive!
I’m sorry you are dealing with so much pain and fatigue right now I can only imagine how difficult it would be to care for young children while you are having a terrible flair. I’m sure your children know how much you love them and realize that you aren’t feeling well.
I’m saying prayers that you’ll soon be feeling better and able to enjoy your family. Hang in there, and let us know how you’re doing!
Hi JM-mojo! I’m sorry you’re have so much pain. I’m sure you’re exhausted, even when not having a flare. One of the things I wish I had, and knew from my mom, is that she loved me authentically. Your children don’t need expensive gifts or to be involved in multiple after school programs etc. If you tell them that you love them, and truly mean that in your heart, that is all that they need. Love from you is what they will remember forever. I would like to write more but I’m super tired. Love…an everlasting gift.
Thank you all so much for your kind replies it means a lot x
I am lucky to have a good family suppoet network and they are trying there best to help me too so fingers crossed I can get back to coping again as soon as possible and work are being supportive too I am.lucky that my job allows me to work from home and at my pace really so when I I go back that will be a bonus. Dr ia going to look at changing my meds so I’m not continuously like a zombie so that may help to start with. Sending love to you all and hoping you have more good days than bad xxx
I can only imagine how difficult it would be to care for young children while you are having a terrible flair. I’m sure your children know how much you love them and realize that you aren’t feeling well.
Hang in there, and let us know how you’re doing!