I’ve been diagnosed for almost a year & 1/2. My symptoms started to get real bad about 6 months ago, & continue to ge worse. I’ve had a flair day every day. My family is mostly supportive. I’m the one that has a problem with myself. I went from working full time, taking care of the house by myself, cooking daily, sewing dance costumes, gluing sequins, running kids to practice, running errands, helping with homework, & having a healthy sex life. Now I feel guilty all the time for not being able to do most of it anymore. I feel useless & lazy. It REALLY hurts to not be able to do the things I want to for my kids & to be forced to rely on my family to take care of everything that I can no longer do. Does this feeling of worthlessness and self loathing ever get better or go away?
Hi Kristy! You are still a Super Mom; your family loves you & is supportive of you! But, I know it is so hard when I am in a flare & feel pretty much useless-just like you said. You know, my PCP has been a literal life saver to me. She has worked so closely with me to help me manage pain & the frustration & depression that often comes with this FMS diagnosis. I notice that you are taking amitriptyline; I take that sometimes to help me sleep better. But since getting diagnosed, I could not bear it myself without additional help. There are all kinds of medications that help folks with fibro. Have you thought about sitting down with your doctor & discussing your feelings as you have now? I did that with my doc & continue to as need be; I 100% trust her to help me manage my fibro & it is good to have a doctor like that. I now take 120 mg daily Cymbalta & 50 mg Tramodol as needed for pain. Like I said, there are so many possibilities out there as far as medication intervention goes, but you shouldn’t be feeling useless & worthless so much-we all have our bad days. I really hope you will discuss these feelings with your doctor; that’s what I did. She has helped me so much; we have changed my dosage of Cymbalta three times & we actually sit down & discuss what my options are & she lets me have input as to what we need to do to better manage my care. I work a full time job & there are days that are not a walk in the park. I couldn’t make it without the help of a good doctor who is both supportive & understanding. I know you must be a great Mom; your family knows this too. They will love you no matter what but you have to love yourself too-no matter what. Please make that appointment right away–I know that you won’t regret it. I’ll say a prayer for you tonight that you will be feeling so much better very soon.
HUGS from Deb
Hi Kristy,
I was diagnosed in 2010. One thing I have learned is that, we are our own worst critic. We are harder on ourselves than other people view us. We hold ourselves to the highest of expectations. I don't really have much advice, but to be kind to yourself and cut yourself some slack : )
Hugs,
Sara
Hi Kristy,
It does get better with time. It takes a while to accept and even mourn the loss of an active life. I learned that by managing the symptoms you can start to reclaim your life but you do need to identify and list the priorities in your life. It takes a while to do even this. Once you are able to juggle a few things with out too many symptoms and I mean-reducing the frequency and intensity of your flares, you can add more things back into your life. The biggest challenge is learning how to manage your symptoms. Unfortunately, this is an individual thing. No two fibro patients are the same. I hope my reassurance gives you some hope because the tunnel seems very dark, very bleak without it. Hugs- Andrea
Kristy, just letting you know that I am thinking of you & praying that today is a better day for you.
HUGS from Deb
I to feel this way and often push myself to do to much and suffer for it, accept help. Allow kids to help, my finace is great! Im not who I used to be but at least where alive and can be with our loved ones…
Thank all of you for your advice & support. I’ve learned that I needed to grieve the old me so I could accept the new me. Now the pain has become tolerable & my brain can process all this & I am learning to cope. Again, thank all of you. Hugs & best wishes.