http://myordinarysimplefibrolife.blogspot.com/2013/11/to-park-or-not-to-park-now-that-is.html
Hi bonnie
I’m so with you on this issue. I am entitled to a disabled badge - however I do not use it (ever!!)
Now this may sound like I’m cutting my nose off to spite my face, but the way people make me feel by their unapproving glares etc it sadly just causes me to feel anxious and guilty(I realise that I’m entitled and in need of the badge) but I don’t want to feel judged…
This Invisible condition is even more damaging than just the numerous amount of physical/mental/emotional problems we all have to deal with daily.
Love the idea of a different sign - maybe we should all add our suggestions?
Bev
I get it because I have to use a cane now.
Bonnie, I think your idea is an excellent one. You are not defaming the government issued disabled parking signs, but rather you are providing a sign that has meaning to every fibromyalgia victim.
The next time I go to see my doctor I am going to ask him if I may have a set because when I am in the city in a large parking lot by the time I walk from my car to the store I literally can hardly move. My back is killing me and the arthritis in my knees and my left ankle is stabbing me such that every step I take after that in the store I am in such pain that I can hardly stand it.
I really wouldn't need to use it in my town, but I sure need it in the city.
Thanks Bonnie for sharing your great idea. It's one that we all could make. Would you be okay if we used your drawing to make a sign for our vehicle?
Love and gentle hugs
Rachel
I forgot to mention that I use a cane all the time now for extra support because I do not want to fall.
I would think that putting such a sign on the windshield beside the disability sign would be a good idea. Then it would explain why we need to park near the door to the store.
It would be a good idea if the cities provided a few more signs because we represent a significant number in the general population.
Bonnie, I know where you’re coming from. I have fibro, lupus, a heart condition, and several other problems that all make using the “blue spaces” an absolute necessity on most days, yet none of them show, unless they happen to hear my groan when I hoist myself in & out of my car, or notice that I might look like I’m in pain (I try not to, but we all know it doesn’t always work), or I happen to be needing my cane that day. And I’ve gotten “the look” from people, but I just ignore them & go on about my business - if I am trying to go out and get anything accomplished outside my house, I have worse problems to worry about than what misconceptions ignorant people might have of me.
I am fortunate to have seen the issue from both sides: back in the BIWS era (Before I Was sick) I was on our local Mayors’ Committee for the Handicapped, as a service provider, not a consumer. I was there during the era when the spaces were first being put in, and we were very involved in helping the City iron out the assorted codes, fines, rules, etc., to do with handicapped parking. I heard the voices of the people who needed it, as well as the unhappy merchants having to give up spaces and the disgruntled citizens who paid the first fines for violations. So I was lucky enough to have learned way before I ever needed them that the vast majority of people who need that parking privilege DO have invisible disabilities, and the ones who do have visible ones certainly don’t begrudge people like us sharing the spaces.
The one thing I DO do, to- well, just to feel like a nice person- is if there is an equally close space that is not in the handicapped zone, I’ll take it- I don’t need the extra van space & curb cut, I just need not to have to walk 2 miles to get where I’m going! That way the curb cut, etc is spared in case someone in a wheelchair does come along. And if I do really need to take a blue space, I’ll try hard not to take the “vans” one, because people with chair lifts & side-loading vans truly need that room. And on that rare - and I do mean RARE- day when I actually am feeling better than usual, I’ll stick my placard in the glove box and walk a bit, just for the fresh air & exercise.
One other word to the wise I learned from my disabled friends back when I was on the Mayors’ Committee - they strongly advised against disabled plates, and for the hang tags. They felt the plates made them an easy and obvious mark for potential predators & thieves, marking them as someone less likely to be able to defend themselves. The plates are visible and obvious everywhere you go in your vehicle, whereas the tag only shows when you’re parked at a commercial or govt. building.
(Sorry for such a long post!!)
Thanks!
I can't use a cane because my hands hurt too much. :-(
By all means use my wonderful artwork! :-)
Thanks for your reply. I also try to avoid the spaces meant for the vans with wheelchairs, and will take a space if it's close enough for me to walk. I'll try not to let the guilt get to me. You're right, I also have worse problems than worrying about ignorant people and their misconceptions.
Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie
Dear Bonnie, I know only too well how you feel. I am BLESSED with both Traumatic Brain Injuries x2 resulting in my "handicapped" status and fibromyalgia as well. And I do get those withering looks if on the best of days I dare not have my cane with me, I do not drive, and my husband will let me off at the front of stores and go park the truck, because all of the spaces are taken already. So if someone wants to look funny at you, just smile and turn away and know they did not need it if they are doing it to you. Most people who really use the spaces that have to use them, are like us, they had much rather be able to park on the fartherest row, than to go thru one hour of what we do every day. Peace and gentle hugs! Darlene
I love your sign!! I get the looks too. Once I even had my car keyed--and I had my handicapped placard hanging on my rearview mirror! It's awful when you feel like sh*t and someone says "Wow, you look great!" If only they knew!!!
Gentle Hugs, Kimberly:)
Hi Bonnie. I know how you feel. But, remember feelings aren't real (says my therapist - and I do agree with him, although it took some time before I got the concept). Pain is real.
After my disc replacement surgery/fusion in 2005, my doctor gave me a disabled parking permit. I only used it if there were plenty of special parking spaces available. Now, my new fibro doctor has issued me a new one. I think it expires in 10 years. She gave it to me because there are days I have a real hard time getting from my car to a shopping cart. I don't care what anybody thinks. They are issued by doctors for people who they believe need them. If I'm having a good day (rare lately) I park in a regular spot. I don't take advantage of it. But, I am not ashamed to use it if it helps my pain and fatigue. Especially if it helps me get my shopping or whatever done with less stress. If I get stressed I'm certain to forget something.
Bonnie, even though this is invisible, we are sick. Use your permit when you are having a bad day or use it all the time. It's yours because a medical professional believes you will benefit from it!
Kitty
Thanks for the comment Darlene! Gentle Hugs to you!
Bonnie
Thanks! Unfortunately for me I can't use a walking stick due to the pain in my hands. I have one from when I had surgery on my knee a few years ago, but now when I try to use it the pain in my hands is unbearable. It feels like I'm pushing on hot glass.
Bonnie
I'm sorry you got keyed. So far I haven't been keyed, but the looks drive me crazy sometimes. As you said, "if they only knew!"
Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie
Thank you Kitty for the nice words.
Gentle Hugs,
Bonnie
You know what else. People stare at all disabled people! Think about it. It's true. Don't be intimidated by the starrers.
I love the graphic! And the idea of hanging it next to my state issued hang tag or on the dash board near it.
I also don't always use it, depending on how I am feeling. But some days it's nice just to have the space to be able to swing my door open wider to make it easier to get in an out of the car.
I did have someone say something to me once. He saw me pull into the spot and made a judgment before I even got out of the car as he waited for me to get out! He said something like "you are any more handicapped than I am" and maybe something else that I don't remember and then walked away. I was SO mad that I walked after him into the store and from several feet away I said something like "HOW DARE YOU JUDGE ME WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME!!!! I happen to have a muscle condition which cause me great pain! How DARE YOU!"
Now on any other day, I may have let it go or not raised my voice, but I was at the pharmacy getting a prescription filled for my 17 yr old son who had just had his wisdom teeth out. I had to get up early that day to take him so I didn't have enough sleep for starters. Then they sent him home sooner than they really should have because he was basically passed out the entire ride home and nauseous on top of it. I'm driving down a busy 1-way street with a kid who can't even tell me for sure he's going to throw-up with nothing for him to throw up in and no place to pull over. Finally found a spot to pull over and the small trash bag you hang in the car (with the hang holes). He was so out of it that he was no help. Missed the bag almost completely and got the seat and his winter coat. It was February.
When I finally got him home, he was still really out of it so I had to help him get from the car across the parking lot and into our apartment. He is 6'4" tall so not an easy task. I then had to clean up the mess on the car seat and his coat. I knew he would need the pain meds soon, but he was still so out of it that I was worried he might get sick and not make the bucket if I wasn't there to help him ...... or worse yet, choke. So when the guy made that comment to me when I got out of the car, it was a day when I needed it the most. If it hadn't been something so important, I normally wouldn't even have ventured out on a day when I felt as crappy as I did, especially in winter in Wisconsin,
Ok, that is way more info. then any of you really needed. Sorry. Ever since then, though, I often do feel more on alert when I get out of the car because part of me thinks something like that will happen again.
Yes, I would think so. I forgot to ask my doctor about a Disabled Parking Permit because the walking and the standing cause me great pain. I hope I will ask him next month for that appointment.