I just need to vent right now because I am so sick of going from doctor to doctor and them not being able to tell what is going on or give me a diagnosis! My lower back, right hip/leg has been hurting for over 2 months now! I've had x-rays, injections, an MRI, I've gone to a Rheumatologist and was tested for RA, Lupus, and other auto-immune diseases and they all came back negative! Yesterday, I went to a spine specialist and he told me that he didn't think that surgery was required for my spine, and now I have to get a bone scan? This is so frustrating and ridiculous! I want to be out of pain, I want to be normal again! I can't take this anymore! I'm tempted to the point of going to get drugs out on the street because I want relief from this pain and no one will give it to me! I'm so sick of this!!!!! I don't understand why God is allowing this to happen to me! First, my mother was taken from me at the age of 60 because she got brain cancer and died within 10 months of her diagnosis, then, if that weren't bad enough, I get diagnosed with having fibromyalgia and I don't understand why! I'm tired of pastor's telling me it's to build character, or, you need to learn something from it! Why does God allow this stuff to happen??? Why??? Why, of all people, little children, why do they get cancer????? I don't know how a God like that can just let these kind of things happen to people like me and to people like you. I've lost my faith, I've stopped going to church, I don't read my bible anymore or my devotions. I feel like this is it! This online group is all that I have right now. I don't have many friends, and I am one of the nicest, sweetest person you would ever know. I'm angry, mad, frustrated, and upset!!! I miss my mom and wish that she were here right now! I feel like no one understands my pain, my anger, my frustration! I'm hurting deep down inside and physically and I feel like I have no one to turn to. Not even my husband! If this is what I have to look forward to for the rest of my life,then I don't want to be a part of it anymore!
I hear you. I used to think everything happened for a reason but now I just think it is “the luck of the draw”! And unfortunately we with Fibro seem to have drawn this card–I don’t mean it is our fault --just something that had happened to us . But the only way to survive it is to learn to take care of ourselves and to develope coping strategies . And keep going to doctors untill you have a good team in place. It doesn’t do any good to try to assign blame.
I’m sorry you are so angry and frustrated – keep posting and reading the discussions on this site–we all understand and have gone through similar periods of doubt and fear–rember – you are not alone. Sending gentle hugs. 
I understand. My mother was also taken much too young and i've moved far away from my support network. This is a frustrating disease, especially when so many doctors and friends write it off. Was anything found on your MRI? Did they think it might be a nerve problem? Have you talked to a counsellor? It's completely understandable to feel angry about being sick. But it might help to work through the anger, if you would like. I've found my counsellor to be great, even if it's just being a sympathetic ear. I hope you can get your leg/hip problem sorted, it's not much fun having problem on top of problem. *gentle hugs*
Yes. On my MRI there was degenerative disc disease, a slight bulging disc, and spondylosis. The only thing the doctor told me was that it was not surgery worthy. I stopped seeing my counselor because she is a Christian counselor and simply because I just don't care to talk to her right now. I just feel like I'm wasting my time and my money with these doctor's.
Thanks for being understanding, Emma.Most people aren't.
I have had fibro and lupus since I was 15 I am now 31 and have been on anything and everything for fibro had any and every test done and up until I got so upset 3 year ago…I was going to all my docs and they would say u have to deal with the pain on ur own you r to young and will be hooked and in jail…it has made me hate docs…the past 3 year of nothing at all have been so hard but I wanted to proved that I could do it don’t get me wrong it has been the worst pain ever…the one thing that kept me strong because I felt all alone is my Lord and my bible I would sit on my bed and pray and cry and I knew he would never judge me…I know this is hard but stay strong…I am trying this doc thing again looking for one now and I know god wont let me suffer much longer keep ur head high my dear and know God doesn’t give us more than we can handle
I'm so sorry Stormymyst!
You must be in awful, unbearable pain! I'm sorry, but I'm just not at that point right now to let God back in my life. I am very angry with God and maybe someday I'll understand why I had to go through this pain, why my mother was taken from me 3 years ago, why innocent children suffer from cancer every day, and why myself, and all the other people on this website and all over the world have to suffer from these types of diseases. I just can't wrap my brain around the fact that God would allow things like this to happen. I don't understand it and I have been a Christian since the age of 11, now 44. You don't think about these things until they happen to you or to someone you love.
Wow. You have very powerful emotions regarding your fibro and the pain, FibroFrenzy, all of which are justified, by the way. You have every right to be furious about getting this awful illness and not finding a doctor yet who can help to control the pain. But I think you've come to a good place to help you with your emotional pain, FibroFrenzy. You can scream and yell and vent and it's okay to do it here! Go for it.
You are darned lucky, though, that you found an honest spine specialist. i went through the exact same doctor shuffle as you did and ran across a spine doctor who recommended doing fusion therapy which is major, MAJOR surgery. Basically they scoop your disc out and take your spine apart, and then hopefully the surgery works and your bad disk is fused to the next one down. Something like that. However I've seen at least 10 docs since then, all of whom were appalled by the first doctor's recommendation for spine therapy. It wouldn't have worked because the pain is related to arthritis and fibro!!!
You know, hard as it is, it's normal for each of us to go from doctor to doctor and get little to no help or diagnosis. And so many of us started our fibro lives with the exact back/hip pain that you have. I had it for six years before I got the fibro diagnosis. Everyone kept telling me that my herniated disc (the one the spine doctor wanted to operate on) wasn't bad enough to cause any kind of pain. I felt like I was going crazy. I KNEW I felt horrific pain in my lower back and NO ONE could treat it.
I finally found a pain clinic where the doctor felt the pain I was experiencing was NOT from the bad disc area but from arthritis above the disc that was radiating downwards. So, long story short, he did radio frequency abulation on my back, and it has reduced the pain to manageable levels much of the time, as opposed to horrific levels prior to the treatment. You might want to discuss this with your pain management doctor and see if it's a possibility since the shots didn't work.
I see that you're on a low dosage of Lyrica. I started with 75 mg too but it didn't help with the pain very much. Can you talk to the doc about increasing the dose? I'm no medical person at all and am only reflecting upon my own personal experience in that a greater dose of Lyrica did help with some of my pain, helping to make things more bearable.
You know, stress really affects fibro and i'm thinking that the stress and grief you feel over the tragic loss of your mom may be kicking your fibro up into high gear. It might be helpful to talk to a therapist about those feelings. They are valid and important but they might be making your fibro even worse. If you could gradually step away from them a bit and have a little bit less stress over your loss, it might help to put your fibro more in check. It's just a thought. Oh and btw, yeah, I'm getting sent to do this too, as it's hard to deal with fibro emotionally. Yeah, it really is, as most of us here can attest.
Would it help you to find a comfortable way to honor the memory of your mom? She sounds like she was extremely important to you, of course, and i think it could be helpful for you to come up with something to honor her memory. Maybe a scrap book, comprised of your very favorite moments with her, or her good advice and sayings or funny, endearing things she'd say? Or maybe sponsoring someone who's doing a walk to benefit those with brain cancer?
At any rate, whatever you decide to do, I'm really sorry about the loss of your cherished mother, and especially in such a short time frame. It's extremely unfair to have to deal with such a terrible situation.
In regards to your anger and grief over God and your fibro, I've come to realize that every single human and even all of the animals have mortal bodies that can break down on us. We are taught to always think of being young and healthy in our society, with little to no thought about life with a real, painful illness. But the reality is our mortality. For reasons I do not understand, God put us into these shells that can feel pain and go through extremely trying times. Even true of wild animals, except they have no one to help them, sadly. It's an unfair situation and something I really want to discuss with God if I ever get the chance to do so. Why are we made to be vulnerable? Why is every life form comprised of elements that can break down after awhile? Makes no sense but there it is. It simply is.
Not being God with a suitable answer for you, all I can offer is my support and concern. Please continue to join us and talk about your situation. Talking helps immensely. Some members have excellent ideas for us at times, and i know I've received a lot of help and support here, making me feel more normal again, while being less upset about my own mortality issues. I hope that you can find some support and friendship here. You deserve it. it's been such a difficult road for you.
Gentle, thoughtful hugs,
Petunia Girl
I agree I was there I didn’t understand why God was putting me though and other things in my life wanted to share some of my story with you so you knew you where not alone in ur feelings someone else was there to and I know it don’t look it now but things will turn around for u
Spondylosis IS a big deal, though, isn't though? In my town there's a radio commercial on about it every single day and I know some folks on here who have it and it IS very problematic in your back. I don't know the treatment for it, but I'm hoping one of the people who has it will come on here and talk more to you. If you give it a few days, I think someone will see your post and respond. But you might want to include the spondylosis diagnosis in with your initial posting here, as it certainly does add a completely different dimension to your treatment than just plain old fibro.
Keep trying to find a good doc, Stormymyst. You absolutely need one. Here's one way to search for fibro docs who are good:
Google the term "fibro general practitioner" and then include your area in the Google search.
When you find a few or several doctors, search each one by Googling their name and then adding the word "rating" or "review" after it. You'll find out pretty quickly who is helpful and who is not, unless the doc isn't yet rated.
If not rated, you could try calling the office and asking the medical assistant what kind of treatment the doc offers for fibro, does he or she believe in it and can he or she help you in diminishing the pain?
Best of luck to you. It's a hard situation to be in but there ARE doctors out there who know and understand and help. Keep trying. You'll find one and the fibro will be treated. Diminished pain is a wonderful thing!
Reading your first sentence, I hear you singing my song, I've been there my friend, I can only tell you NOT to give up. When you are in other Drs offices and talking ask for a good Rheumatologist, I will always think they are our very best chance for diagnosis and care!
My first Rheum didn't think there was anything wrong with me even with test confirming autoimmune disease, but have 3 that I know of so far. Though my primary disease was simply diagnosed by a master looking at my fingernails, and I talked to a lady with osteo that said her Rheum always looks at her fingernails and knows how she is feeling.
You just cannot give up, keep trying my friend, and read what I told Petunia! It's a shame we have to go through all of the trauma, drama and expense to get to someone who has a good idea how to help us!
I totally understand your anger and frustration, the medical racket seems to breed it in general, but there are good Docs to be had! Sooner of later you hit the jackpot! Could it be that easy to go through med school and not know what you area doing unless blood tests tell you? I mean a Rheumatologist is firstly an Internist. Make sure someone besides the Radiologists looks at your x-rays, they miss important things!
Hang in there girlfriend,
SK