How have you gotten family to help?

Hello, hope all are doing as well as possible.

I am trying to come up with positive ways to get my family involved in understanding I have a number of limitations, and being helpful. Unable to ignore listening to my own sleep pattern and daily functioning challenges, some things have to change.

I dropped my superwoman cape about 5 years ago, and feel it has never sunk in.

so what has worked for you?

how have you been assertive about your own needs to be as well as possible without causing a melt down at home?

thanks in advance.

organic mama

Hello Organic mama

My wife and I moved in with my mother in November and i have gone through multiple strategies to get my family to understand my situation. I learned that: 1- educating family with information on the internet was essential into be taking serious, particularly http://www.cfidsselfhelp.org/ and http://www.nytimes.com/health/guides/disease/fibromyalgia/print.html

2- be careful to not overwhelm them with your experience, I have found that people who love you can have difficultly accepting the emotions that rise when they hear about a loved one in agonizing pain especially when there is so much ambiguity.

3- the hardest part for me was getting family to understand my sensitivity to chemicals and noise. I somehow upset them when i respond negatively to cleaning products or the television. It is important to have self compassion and not get stressed when dealing with the family, because sometimes they just wont understand.

4- self compassion in the sense that no matter what the circumstance , you take time to de stress and keep healthy perspective.

Much respect and many blessing to you organic mama!

-morgan

I think I still have a long way to go, but one step I have taken recently is to let go a little. Part of the reason that no one was helping was because I didn't want to let them! I really thought I was the only one that could clean or cook the right way. I have let go in little ways, in ways that most people probably let go of long ago-such as making my children's beds. I know they should have been making their own bed, but I did it anyway. Now, they do make their beds, take their dirty clothes downstairs, etc. It has helped sometimes. I think that they are all pretty tired of this illness. As if I am not! I guess it is a work in progress!

Hi! I can certainly understand how you must be feeling. I have found that it helps to remind, while trying not to nag. When I was first diagnosed, I kept trying to do things and push myself too hard. Now, when I plan things with my family, I remind my son that although we may be able to do something fun for a brief period of time (like go to a movie), I will need to rest when we get home. I remind my husband that although I can cook once in awhile, I will be making things in the crockpot one day, then we will have leftovers many days in a row. I remind my husband what I do every day, and what my pain is like (if he forgets). I think it works best when I plan my rest times with my family, so they know when I need to recuperate.

I hope this helps a bit. :)