How to talk to your family and loved ones

I just got diagnosed with fibromyalgia and i have gotten into the habit over the past 6 months of hiding my pain from my girlfriend cause it hurts upsets her when I am in pain and I do not know how to talk to her and my other family members and to tell them how i feel. I feel like i am a burden on everyone is that a common feeling? The doctor has put me on gabapentin does anyone know how long it takes for it to start working? i always thought that my pain could be fixed with a surgery or something but now that i have been diagnosed with fibro there is no end to the pain

So sorry to hear this. I used to hide it from a lot of people, practically everyone, lately however mine has gotten worse and I have started to become a little more vocal about it which I think has helped me. I feel like a burden a lot of the tome too and just wish some people could be more understanding and supportive. I haven’t taken gabapentin so I can’t help you there but they usually take a couple of weeks. Best wishes.

Hi KageNoShinju and welcome to the site. We're all here because we go through very similar things with fibro including interacting with family and friends. In fact, we just had a discussion on the topic on another thread.

Yes, I definitely feel like a burden. I can't hold my own financially or physically. I try to make up for it in other ways but it's something that is always on my mind.

When I took Gabapentin it worked right away but gave me awful headaches so I only took it for a few times. Obviously everyone is different. You might want to place a call to your doctor to ask how long it could take to work. I hope it helps you very soon! You deserve to get out of this pain.

Hope you find this site helpful. It's a great place to learn a lot about this illness.

Dear Kage,

So sorry you also suffer. It is difficult to come to terms with as far as telling others how you feel. Perhaps a book for all of them to share would be a good idea. There are many out there that can explain it easily to them. I too looked for a surgical fix, but it was not to be. Hope this idea is helpful and that you are feeling better soon. BTW, I first took gabapentin for Sciatica it did help the nerve pain, but I was too dizzy to function, was switched to Lyrica, and I handle that much better. Everyone is different, you may do very well on it, many do.


I know exactly how you feel. You try not to talk about it because you feel guilty if others are upset by it. You do need to tell them how you feel and how it affects your daily life so they can understand what you're going through and what your limitations are. I had gabapentin before and it takes 3 - 4 weeks before it takes proper effect. It is sad to learn that there is no end to the pain but there are many treatments out there that will alleviate your symptoms. A book is a good idea to find and give information. I got "Fibromyalgia for dummies". It's really good and helps everyone including the sufferer and their family and friends. You can explain the best you can and offer the book to them to study themselves. I find it hard to talk about it to some people as I feel they will get tired of hearing it, but then sometimes I keep it bottled up and they forget I'm ill and expect too much from me. We all try to get a happy medium and deal with it the best we can and there's so many nice people on here that are so helpful.

Hi Kage,

Welcome to the site. I think you will find that just about everyone has this same problem. I have a hard time with this too. But holding in how you feel isn't the answer. Over time it will just get harder. Especially when you might be having a bad day. Maybe have them read on fibro, or have them read some of the posts on here. These are posts from real people going through the same thing you are. I never tried gabapentin so i'm not sure how that works. But there are great people here. Hope we all are a help to you:) I know i love being here.. So once again WELCOME!!

Hello and welcome!

I know what you mean about not sharing how you are feeling. I struggle with this problem as well. I feel embarrassed when my 75 year old parents can easily accomplish tasks that require a lot of energy and strength. I feel like I am lazy.

I took my husband to doctor’s appointments so he could hear about fibro and ask questions. Sometimes I feel the rheumatologist is acting like a counselor to my husband.

I would strongly encourage you to bring your girlfriend or a family member with you to each of your appointments. This really helped open my husband’s eyes to what he should expect.

I hope this tip helps… And hope your medication gets sorted out soon. I felt the best taking Cymbalta. Everyone is different so it’s an art getting the meds right.

Take care,