Thank you for your support and encouragement to keep positive about going to Mayo Clinic, which is now about 3 weeks away. Thank you to everyone who sent birthday wishes as well. I haven't been on this site in a couple of weeks as I was in the hospital for my birthday, I was in for a total of nine days. I was hospitalized for suicidal thoughts and some planning, and self harm. My anxiety and depression has been getting really high again as I have had many stressors lately, LSS suggesting bankruptcy, seeing attorney to file disability appeal, and wondering if Mayo Clinic will find anything out.
I am not 100% sure because it was not on my discharge papers, but I have not seen my AXIS yet, but the doctor was pretty sure that I have Borderline Personality Disorder, in addition to anxiety and depression. I have some trauma in the past that is starting to come out that needs to be dealt with and I am attending DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy). The doctor says there is no treatment, medications for BPD but that I would need to learn DBT and attend sessions for several months or even a year.
Anyone else have BPD? Any suggestions on learning about it, how to cope with it and how my husband can understand what I am going through? I feel lost and confused and hopeless sometimes. Will I ever be me again?
I don't have direct experience with them, so take a good look and decide if you are comfortable with them before signing on. Getting help is the most important step, and it sounds like you are doing just that. We are all wishing you well!
I'm sorry, but I'm not sure that I have any answers for you on this matter, but am so very glad that you are actively seeking help, as these are certainly challenges that we cannot deal with alone.
I know that just getting a complete diagnosis will do wonders for you. No one wants to be ill, physically, or emotionally, but until we know everything can we get the care we deserve, and you certainly do deserve to be well, and well cared for!
Make sure your Doctors know of ALL the meds you take, as it is very possible that they can cause or exacerbate these feelings. Am I correct in thinking that you have been taking Steroids almost back to back? Prednisnone/Delatsone?
Thank you for your response, my psychologist was even questioning the diagnosis of somatization disorder that I received after my last hospitalization in November. His diagnosis is mood disorder, depression, related to chronic pain. He said many people get sent to him when the doctors can't find anything wrong with them, when the doctors still need to keep looking. Many times when I saw him this past week he said this may not all be anxiety and depression, you can still have something organic wrong with you. I am so glad he is supportive, it makes me more hopeful going to Mayo Clinic to see if I can find more answers.
I was on Prednisone for 2 months with 2 weeks off in between. The Hospitalist just tapered me off of the prednisone quicky. Creatinine the lab for kidney function was high and so were a couple others. I was on 10 mg for a month, the she had 7.5 for 2 days and 5mg fora few days. Thursday was my first day without it and I am so tired, but it could also be due to catching up on sleep and one of the new meds I am taking.
I don't feel very brave. I went to Gooseberry Falls, and we were in the visitor center, and I was waiting for my husband in the restroom, and today we went to the grocery store and he was trying to save me from walking so much so he went ahead and shopped in other areas of the store. Both times I felt unsafe, was hypervigilant, started to really get scared and my anxiety was really high, and I kept looking for him. I have never felt this way, it is not fun and I do not feel brave and I don't want to go out in public now. I will share this tomorrow in my DBT, and see if they have any suggestions or coping skills. My husband is very supportive, he says it it ok, I am going through alot right now.
Hope today finds you better and stronger. Getting a solid diagnosis certainly helped me after 7 years of running to different Doctors, treatments, tests, it's a terrible strain on a person, physically, mentally, emotionally. Most of the responses were not only a waste of time, but terribly hurtful, and upsetting. It was like I was just not to be believed!
My GP was on the right track, but could not quite complete a diagnosis, and so I went the rounds, and no one would come close to agreeing with him. In my experience, there are so many Doctors ill equipped for patients with Fibromyalgia and/or Autoimmune out there, but it only takes ONE, the right ONE to change all of that! I certainly hope you are about to meet 'the right one' at Mayo!
You are right the invalidation sucks and really wears down on your self esteem, with "be glad nothing is seriously wrong with you". I know Mayo Clinic will be good, but it is hard to get over the invalidation from the past and thinking here we go again, no one believes me.
I hope I do find answers at Mayo along with ways to cope and manage both my physical and psychological issues. I am trying to stay positive today, thinking I will be going to Mayo Clinic in three weeks.
I really care about you. You have always been a ray of sunshine through your serious health struggles. You lovingly opened your heart and home to the exchange students. The universe owes you one girlfriend, and it will come! I know it all wears you down, but don’t give up. You are heading in the right direction. My present Rheumatologist was the last attempt before my husband packed me up for the nearest Mayo clinic. I read a condensed story of it’s founding family years ago, it was amazing! I think it was a Readers Digest condensed book.
Hi Teri, I'm new but wanted to respond to your Prednisone use. I was put on it for something else, and yes, it did all of the things you said it did, but it's not the answer for a long term treatment. I was wondering if you have ever heard of NuVigil. It used to be called Provigil and is prescribed for MS sufferers as well. I've been prescribed it for something else and noticed it has also helped my fibro. Wish you the best.....
Hi Terri. I have bipolar and anxiety. I’m sorry you have to deal with that nightmare on top of fibro. I have been doing a type of therapy designed for borderline personality they’re now applying to many other issues. It’s called DBT (dialectical behavioral therapy). It’s like CBT with mindfulness skills and coping skills. You should check out some books on it at the library. It helps. I hope thid helps you.
I was taken off the prednisone when I was in the hospital. I have used Nuvigil, it helped some but I had terrible side effects or it was just the timing at the same time with other symptoms. Mayo clinic in two weeks, they have many things set up for me.
I found out my records state borderline personality traits, so it is not a definite yet. I am currently in outpatient therapy that includes some DBT for 3 weeks, then they want me to do DBT for a year, and I also have a wonderful therapist. It helps to talk with others and know others are dealing with the same issues and are getting better.
My appointment at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester is 2 weeks away, and they have already scheduled appointments with neurology, a neuromuscular specialist, general internal medicine (because I was on prednisone so long) and others. They have also scheduled an EMG, sleep study and psych eval. So I will be busy.
I have my records from my hospital stay and in addition anxiety, depression, SI, and traits of BPD, it says abnormal involuntary movements (my legs/arms and neck jerk around alot), unspecified hypertension, orthostatic hypotension and more. I also had PT do an evaluation that showed impaired balance, impaired strength, decreased ADL and IADL functioning (whatever that is), and impaired indurance. So I am finally feeling better about going to Mayo Clinic, I know I have anxiety and depression, but I also am validated that more is going on and it is not all in my head.
Teri - if you were on prednisone for a long time, you may want to read about candida because steriods as well as anti-biotics, hormones, and other meds will contribute to significant candida overgrowth; especially in women. That then contirbutes to a variety of health problems, including fibromyalgia. Traditional medical doctors dismiss this idea of candida being a cause for disease and unknown symptoms, but almost any holistic practicioner or naturopathic doctor is well aware of this growing health problem and the disease it's caused (lots of studies). A "naturopath" works to treat the problem, unlike convetional medical doctors that treat the symptoms. Also, I had a Naprapath (muscle/nerve focused doctor) helped me with nerve and muscle pain and led me to the only pain reliever to improve things for me to date. It's a natural supplement form of magnesium. I must have been very low and no traditional doctor thought to test this during all the time I went before turning to alternative healthcare. Good luck to you. I am thinking of moving to Scottsdale and just found out the was a Mayo Clinic there too. That's a bonus, just in case : )