Christmas is over..it was wonderful but..always a but, I am sore and I realize that my daughters family does not understand our hurts and neither does my daughter. Sorry just have to vent a bit because if it ever was a case of " you're not laying down again are you", so then we push ourselves but finally just had to say yes I am.
They were here for 5 days so it gets a bit long, but I so love them all!!
Thanks
Vicky
She saids she understands , and she has read everything but I know it has not helped much. She is a great help and does not expect me to cater to her and her family ,but just wish she would of came and layed down with me when I had to rest..oh well just have to keep trying to get them to understand.
Thanks for the Hugs I needed them
Vicky
I think I am just feeling sorry for myself!!
Hi Vicky,
My Aunt says she understands, but I know she doesn't, and ridicules me behind my back. I just figure she's ignorant, and I don't let it bother me anymore. I have Christmas at her house every year, 2 hours away. She refuses to take my health into consideration, and moved dinner earlier than planned, without giving me any notice until I was 45 minutes into the trip. Needless to say, we turned around and came home, and ate mac & cheese..... and I decided we are not bothering with family again. It's not worth the stress and heartache. Maybe next year I'll spend the holiday on an island somewhere warm....
Renie, let me know what island, maybe we should all follow lol. So sorry you ate mac and cheese. Vicky it is true people that don't have fibro or doesn't see us suffering day to day are ignorant to it.I sleep so much but I can't help it. I hope you have a better day. Hugs, Robin
I feel your pain. My in laws are the same. My husband says "why are you being such a bitch". He doesn't get it and neither do they. I wish I could go to that Island and live on it.
Good Luck
Dear Vicki I can relate too. Pretty sure everyone with FM can relate. I blame it on no physical sighns. My best friend has rhumitoide arthritis. She symitizes with me and understands my pain. We are both 38 one week apart in age, and we both moan and grown when we move, it’s almost like we have the same pain. But there is one major difference. She swells where her pain is. That one thing makes a huge difference in how we are treated differently. People feel sorry for her, they make her family and her dinner, they’ve even cleaned her house for her and done laundry for her. These same people look at me like I’m just lazy. Like why are you in bed today. I get so jealouse of her swelling sometimes. Your daughter said she has redup on it. Well maybe she’s reading the wrong stuff, there are still people out there who believe FM is just the new name for hypocondract. Which is actully kinda true because I think for a long time before they knew about FM people with what we have were labeled hypocondracts. Is people can’t see your pain, then you must be faking it. Sad really. Keep strong and know that we all know your pain and are right there with you.
Gental hugs Cindi
I hear that every time we go over to his parents house. I hate going over there.He knows it they know it we all know it
HI GANG HEY AFTER YOURE FINISHED WITH YOUGINES FAMILY CAN YOU ANGELONEARTH CAN YOU TALK TO MY DAD AND HIS GIRLFRIEND THEY CHOOSE NOT TO U DERSTAND IVE SENT HIM EMAILS THE SPOON THEORY AND THE LETTER TO NORMALS BUT HE JUST CHOOSES NOT TO UNDERSTAND AND HIS/ HER/THEIR. BEHAVIOR IS AWFUL AND DOESNT HELP IT ADS MORE STRESS ILL BE HAPPY ON JANURARY 7TH AND I WONT SEE THEM BECAUSE WHEN I GET BACK THEYLL BE ON A CRUISE AND WONT BE BACK UNTIL MARCH SO NUCH PEACE AND QUIET NO LOUD. 3 TEMEPHONES RIMNGING 2 ANSWERING MACHINE TV COMPUTER LOUD VOICE THAT I GAVE TO TURN UP THE TV OR RADIO SO I CAN HEAR THE PROGRAM IF SOME OF MY WORKFRIENDS WERE HERE AND COULD SEE WHAT HAPPENS THEYS CORRECT RGE SITUATION AND I WOULD HAVE AN APOLOGY WITHIN 2 MINUTES AND THEY WOULD NEVER SOEAK TO ME LIKE THST AGAN. HAVE A GOOD DAY EVERYONE. ITS RHE 4RH DAY OF CHRIST.MASD
Hi Vicky. I understand. My husband and I traveled to visit our daughter and her little family. It's only a 4 hour drive, but it tires me. The build up of Christmas tires me. The fact that this was our first Christmas away from home in 35 years grieved me. I have a new problem this year that is very painful (fissure) so I'm taking lots of different drugs. I HAD to nap. I napped with my granddaughter. It turned into the best part of my trip. Being alone with her (she's 2), reading to her alone and playing with her pretties when we woke up was wonderful. I don't think my son-in-law understood, or my daughter for that matter. I can't help what they don't understand. I have sent my daughter links to articles and she has worked for doctors so she knows the facts and still just doesn't get it.
The holidays are hard for us. We have to amp up to have the energy just to be present. All the preparation for Christmas is overwhelming. I read a very good article a while back regarding "the 3 day recovery period", which refers to any event. I think during our visits we are recovering from the preparation and the travel to get there and we continue to be tired and when we finally get home we can start to really rest and recover.
I hope you have some good recovery time now. I love all mine too and it was a blessing to spend time with them. Now we can rest...hopefully.
L
P.S. I have to add that my husband, daughter and son-in-law had a great time building a snowman and sledding with the grandkids. It was a wonderful time for each of us, in our own way.
Vicky
yes I am sore to. But it was a good Christmas. And I an so glad it is over.
PPL WHEN THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND i COMPARE THEIR ACHES AND PAINS WHEN THEY COMPLAIN. ONLY I TELL THEM IT IS 100 TIMES WORSE. they GET VERY QUIET AND HAVE NOT MUCH TO SAY AFTER THAT. MIGHT IT WORK FOR YOU ?
HUGS
S L M
THANKS SHIRLY ILL TRY THAT THE NEXT TINE SOMEONE HAS A SNIDE REMARK I WISH THEY COULD INVENT SOMETHING LIKE A SUIT YOU CAN PUT AND EXPERIENCE WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE US LIKE AN EMPATHY BELLY SO HUSBANDS/FATHERS CAN UNDERSTAND WHST ITS LIKE FIR THE WIFE/MOTHER OR A FATSUIT TO EXOERIENCE WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE THEM
Hello Vicky
There are some times and some things that we know that we are going to have to suffer payback pain and perhaps spend the next day or two in bed to recover from. BUT we just accept it because you would not want to say to them, "Don't come at Christmas because I'll be in so much pain after you leave." People who don't have family probably don't understand this, but people with family will understand it. Wouldn't it be nice if the people who came understood or at least accepted that they could make it so much easier for you if they would pitch in and do the work?! Then you could enjoy it more. But you cannot do all the work and then when you're exhausted and hurting all over you just can't enjoy anything. You just have to endure it. That is what is so unfortunate.
Of course you love them all, but you just cannot be wonder woman anymore. We who suffer with fibromyalgia have a hard enough time ourselves to understand it so of course it is difficult for others to understand it. But if they would just accept what you tell them and pitch in and help you it would lessen the pain and exhaustion and fatigue that you are under.
But, like you say you made it through another holiday. Now you have to recover and recuperate. I understand.
Many gentle hugs
Rachel
Oh my gosh, 5 days is a long time to entertain guests, especially guests who refuse to accept that you're ill. It has to be hurtful that your own daughter doesn't believe you. Of all of the people in your world, your SO and kids should know you well enough to know that you're telling the truth. Siiiiiiigh. Oh, the curse of fibro!
Please, take some time. Lie down now and relax. Sleep if you need to. Take it easy. You are ill. You have the right to take care of yourself due to your illness.
Hugs!!!
Petunia
Me again Vicky. About your daughter, that would make me angry. But for now I would let it go. It is her problem not yours. Why should you suffer because she dose not belive you. I would just make it a point of asking her about her complaints about her pain. And keep it up untill she gets fed up and remarks to you. 
then tell her, now you know how I feel.You were born with the same body functiond as her. But she is lucky as she dose not have fibro.
HUGS HUN
S L M
P/S SORRY THE JOKE WENT IN THE WRONG PLACE. i MENT IT AS FUN. hOPE YOU GET A LAFF FROM IT. LOL
I already weighed in, but there's something I think about often and it may help someone. I know how much wisdom I have gained by growing older. I see people much differently than I did when I was in my 30's or even in my 40's. I have seen things come full circle. I've had many "ah-ha moments". Yes, it's hard for us and it's painful and indescribable and invisible to many. I don't wish illness on anyone, but I try to remember that my daughter may suffer the same disorder or another debilitating disorder in her life time. For sure she will grow old which is difficult on it's own. It's hard now, but loving them and being kind and perhaps getting closer to helping them understand may be helpful to them in their future.
Our daughters were most likely stressed out by Christmas too. I tried to remember that I don't know what their life is really like when I'm not around. They may have problems we don't know about. I think it's hard for our kids to accept that Mom isn't like she used to be.
You are a good Mom. You were wonderful to do Christmas for everyone. What a task! 5 days is huge! You did great. Now rest and recover. Lay down as much as you want.
L
Hi Vicky!
Take a bow, my friend, you did it, and I'm sure you did it well! I know that you gave them a lovely holiday! Glad you gave in and rested, and I hope that you continue to do so! I know I have been, and my family was just here for one evening. These holidays are a major undertaking for us, they are hard enough on those who are well!
I am sorry that you do not have the understanding that you deserve. It is difficult for the well to 'get it'. As much as I loved my Nan, and as much as my Mom and I helped her, and cared for her, we did not totally 'get it' then either!
I am very happy that you had time with your loved ones, nothing else comes close!
Sending you well wishes,
SK
Oh Shirley, I LOVE this picture, that's me with the husband sometimes,( just in my mind, of course). Thanks for the chuckle, I needed it!
I love your post, Lkitty. So well said and thought out! I'll try to remember it whenever something comes up with family and I need the patience to understand their pov for not understanding...
Thank you, Petunia Girl. You're very kind.
Thank you Kitty, yes I believe it is hard for her to see me this way, cause I have always been the one to be doing things..not being able to sit still long and now I sit or lay down too much. But you are also right I do not know what her life is totally like , she has been married 22 years and has her own family problems I am sure. I have let it go thanks to all my wonderful friends on here..thanks again
Gentle Hugs
Vicky