Well, I overdid it last week (surprise, surprise) and have been paying for it since. We always have to pay the piper, don't we? Over the last several months DH and I have been talking about kiddo #2. I don't want fibro to define my life, or my families life, and we have a good support structure, so we decided to start getting ready. This means major meds changes for me from pregnancy "not safe" drugs to pregnancy "sorta safe" drugs. So you add an anti-depressant shift to the craziness of this time of year (especially as an introvert) and add in a long weekend at home with family and the always on the move toddler. Throw in a cold front that dropped the temperature 30 degrees in 2 hours and you have it.
I had to get a cane. I had to walk into work with a cane. Without I almost fell twice from my leg just not supporting my weight (and, you know, the pain). I am 29 years old, and I have a cane.
And I am not okay with that.
It's like the day I got glasses all over again. And the day I had to go to school after a really bad hair cut. And the day I got braces.
I keep waiting for someone to say something about it. For the teasing. Luckily I work with mostly adults, and I may go for the cafeteria at lunch without it. But I am on the brink of major tears.
Gentle warm hugs from me!
You are a bit younger then me (I just turned 30) so I can totally relate. I’ll be getting a cane very soon, I’ve putting it off for a while now.
No tears please, you are doing all you can to make yourself more comfortable and that is no crying matter, you should walk proud if it helps even just a little bit.
Hugs most defanatly coming your way. I feel for you. I’m only 29 as well, and well at 29 we’re most certainly not suppose to feel like we’re 89. Maybe good news for you, I know everyone’s different but I never felt better than when I was pregnant. I still had pregnancy things but my fibro was the best it had ever bed since it started. Hugs again, hang in there.
Becca
Sending you big cyber hugs ! Use that Cane and stand tall !! A new baby is something to be so excited about … The med transition will be hard , but so totally worth it
Learning to live with fibromyalgia means that you have to be sensible about some things or you will pay dearly. The cane......without it you are running the risk of falling and breaking some bones. Should you be pregnant and fall you may lose the unborn baby. Are you willing to take those chances just because you imagine that people think it strange that you are using a cane at age 29? You have to look at the alternative and decide whether it's worth it to take the chances just so that you can hide some things that YOU THINK people are finding strange about you. You sound a bit disappointed that nobody has said anything about your cane!!
You overdid things last week big time and now you are suffering the consequences ......big time. The extra and excruciating pain will bring you to tears. Living with chronic pain means 24/7/365. People who do not have chronic pain just don't have any idea what that does to us, but this is our reality so we have to figure out how to deal with these really rough days. Make use of your tremendous support system. Take your little girl to the grandparents so that you have an afternoon or whatever much time to take care of YOU. That will help you. Just do whatever you want.......maybe nothing. Do lots of deep breathing, practice smiling, have a sleep, whatever you choose.
Many members will be so envious of you and your wonderful support system because many of them have NO SUPPORT at all so when they find this site they are almost in tears to think that they have finally found support. Make use of your support system and share your darling daughter with her grandparents.
I am sending you a gift package of hugs. It's renewable........every time you take out a hug and surround yourself with that gentle but sincere hug another one takes its place in the package. This pak has medium hugs, should you need bigger firmer hugs just write me and I will send you the pak to suit your needs.
By the way I used to be like you worrying about these superficial things, but living a lifetime with fibromyalgia plus a difficult life in other respects caused me to make some sensible decisions. It's easier if you smile with your cane. Then you will wish you had smiled with your glasses and your braces, then people would know how proud you were of them!!
Hi LadybgBeth, I’m glad you have good support at home and hope that you find lots of support on this site as well. You have quite the challenge ahead of you and it will be difficult changing meds at such a stressful time of the year. I realize that having to use a cane in your 20.s would be difficult, I had to use a cane in my late 50’s for a couple of years and even then initially it was embarrassing. . There are some cute canes out there you could use as an accessory as it’s better to be safe. And careful.
You’re an amazing young woman, a working mother and wife looking towards having another child, and at the same time you’re dealing with fibromyalgia. . Don’t let what anybody else thinks undermine your confidence, walk tall and be proud of yourself. You’re not letting the fibro take over your life, you’re taking charge. ! Sometimes you need to give in and rest, pace yourself, and use aids, but you don’t have to give up.
I totally feel for you!! I'm also 29 and though most days I can walk around the apartment - I have to use a wheelchair, sometimes even at home. We're hoping I can start using the cane to go the "shorter" distances. But yeah, it's a really, really hard move to make. I totally cried!! Some days I totally hate it! I want to be "normal" to get at least a taste of what it's like to be in my 20 - the supposed prime of my life. I had to use a walker and then a wheelchair when I was 22/23 - so dang hard!! I resisted big time, but eventually had to cave. I had a partial recovery after getting into a doctor, but then we moved and I wasn't treated for five years and my health crashed to bedridden. Totally sucks!! Personally, I say go ahead, let the tears fall!! This is dang hard and in our twenties it just should happen - it doesn't feel fair (not that an age makes it fair). Life's not fair, but that doesn't take away the frustration and grief and even humiliation. To get the looks like what the heck, you look like you're just fine. =S
On the up side you'll walk better - falling hurts a LOT more and can be even more humiliating. And though I can't quite understand it, there's something about having that extra assistance that seems to make my health issues real to other people. So weird, but it's like something clicks.
When I start to really recover again, the ups and downs with the wheelchair will give me crap from people - people who don't care and just want something to complain about. My husband knew an MS patient that had bouts of having to use a wheelchair and times when she was fine. Some of the teachers were real witches about it, coming up with all kinds of nonsense to why she would go up and down like that. I try to just remind myself their the jerks and what they have to say had no barrings on me - I get though it can still be hard.
Give yourself time to adjust to it. I've come to place where I'm okay with it for the most part. I find I actually have more energy to participate in more things, because I'm not eating it up just trying to walk from one place to other and hoping I'll actually be able to make it. In that way having a wheelchair is more freeing. After ten plus years of this I've learned to adapt and roll with the everywhere my health takes me.
Best of luck with baby #2 - it took us a good while, but we have two (7 & 2). Love it and totally worth it!! We've decided that's it for us 2 out of 5 was good enough for me. Think two of my miscarries were actually medication related. =( Good for you to get that all out of the way to begin with and again best of luck!
I revisited my comments to you and tonight they sound more harsh and unsympathetic than they did when I wrote them. That was not my intent at all. My intent was to be more common sense. But I'm afraid that is not how they might have sounded to you. Please accept my apology as I in no way wish to add to anyone's burden with invisible chronic illnesses.
I wish you every success in your decision to try to conceive. That is a much bigger and complicated decision for you than it is for "normal" people. It is a very brave decision to go off all your medication now. This is not just for a short time so you are going to need all the moral support you can get. You certainly have my support.
I believe it took a lot for you to be able to share with us the things that bothered you while growing up.
