Not sure i can handle much more

Symptoms & Treatments
1

The past year for me has been one of the worst by far. i would get hit with one thing and no more get better than bam something else would happen. my last year started with bad pain from endometrisos, then a month long plursey case, then followed by a 3 month long migraine, also have had major sleep issues and cases of the stomach flu which before this year i have never had. and ended with me being admitted to the hospital dec. 23rd and got out jan. 1st. during that time i had surgery for endometrisos, a test to look in my colon and into my stomach with with they found ulcers caused by taking too many nsaids.

Well this year has not been good either and we r only 2 weeks into it. i went back to work monday the 7th. on thursay of this week only had been back to work a couple day i had to leave early due to severe adomonal pain. i went to the er friday night cause the gi dr said too. i was told i have a virus- i now know to be the stomach flu i will explain more. while at the hospital i also was told i have bronicutis yet again and a sinus infection( i always seem to get them both together). the hospital ran blood work which came back ok. i was told that they were not gong to do any further testing due to all that was done just 2 weeks ago. part of me was upset because i was being sent home and was not given an answer to my horriable adominal pain.

So i woke up sat. with a fever, really bad neasua,dizzyness,and dirreah. so the virus that they guessed could be the source of the pain turns out to be the stomach flu. only this is like no other stomach flu i have ever had. the adomonal pain is so bad it took forever to fall asleep and then i was woke up from it shortly after. i have been curled up in a ball of pain all day. the tylenol has seemed to help with the fever thank goodness. i dont know how much longer i can handle all this pain. i feel like i am going to go crazy.

So thats my life pretty much for the past year. I no more recover from one thing and get hit with another. i have had fibro for years but never in my life have i been so sick. i ended up with more than one case of plursey after having it for a month. i have had repeated cases of sinus infection and broncitus.

So i wrote all that to ask this Can my fibro cause all this or am I just a very unlucky person when it comes to getting sick?? what i dont get is that i have done nothing to harm my body( not saying that anyone else has). i have never smoked or done any illegal drugs. i had a few drinks when i turned 21 and got very sick after so i havent touched acholol since. i have read studies that show red wine can help things but i stay away. i have nothing against drinking every one should be able to have a few drinks now and then just dont drive.

I really feel like i am at the end of my rope. while i laid in the er friday night my mind kept going into thoughs of killing myself. i dont feel like i ever would in any way but why would i think those thoughts. it scares me. i dont wish to die but some relief would b great. i was in so much pain fri night and i still am. nothing they tried helped and nothing at home has helped. i had even lost 10 pounds from being so sick in just the past few weeks. trust me the weight loss is nice but not as a result of being so sick. i have no idea what to do to stop this horriable cycle. i really need a break. oh and i forgot i also lost my dog of 15 years in the middle of all this.

I am begining to wonder how much one body can take. i feel like i cant possiabliity get through this flu let alone get hit with anything else. any advice would be great.

Thank you for being the best friends i could ever find.

2

I don’t have any answers for you but I have noticed that I get sick a lot easier now. I used to be super healthy and now I get sick all the time. And I can relate to the suicidal thoughts. I don’t really think I would ever go through with it but just the thought of being free from the misery is appealing. Hang in there!!! I hope you feel better soon!!! :slight_smile:

3

Hi, I am so sorry you are going thru so much pain ...I often ask myself the same thing ~HOW MUCH MORE CAN I TAKE~ to somewhat answer your guestion..whenever I am struck down with some sort of virus or illness..I have asked my Dr. if this is because I have such severe Fibro, he has told me yes...it does contribute..because Fibro is an autoammune disease we are more likely to catch illnesses...that seem to knock us right out of the water..so to speak. This time of year is always bad for me..and I too have thoughts of suicide...its not that I want to do it...its the thought that I AM DONE...FED UP...I NEED REST...I AM TIRED....I have attempted many times when I was younger...before I was diagnosed with Fibro because of other issues I have...but yes these past few yrs the thought is appealing BUT..I would never rob my daughter of her mother...NEVER!!!! All I can say to you is I HEAR YOU, & I AM HERE FOR YOU!!!! Your not alone...we all live in our own private hell...it gets so damn tiring being ill all the time..if its not one thing its another. I just want you to know that you are not going CRAZY..what helps me alot is I always say to myself ~This too shall pass~ and it always does...so just know that..and take abit of comfort from it...I wish you a speedy recovery..and if you ever want to message me feel free...I am a Veterinarian Nurse and a Crisis counselor as well. WARM HUGZ JeSSe oxo

4

First i am very sorry you have had extremely bad year. I am hoping your are seeking medical help like for your migraines plus endro etc. I have had all those and do know there is now excellent help out there, if you find a decent doctor.

Just motrin made huge difference in my life with the Endro ....and i would pass out monthly from horrible cramping. But once motrin was legal it made huge difference, though yes i still had cramps but not as bad. The doctor can help from there..your ob-gyn.

Migraines a pain specialist or migraine specialist is where i would go. I tried some of the obvious pills and they only helped if i had them on me to take immediately with first symptoms. Plus, pain doctor taught me a lot about cause and what they can do to help more than my GP. Again..depends on if you get one that cares.

The diarrhea and vomiting could easily have been food poisoning but you should still tell our doctor just to do some basic tests. Ask like if you been out of country or out hiking and drank water plus other things.

None of these are tied in to fibro...migraines might be but not sure....even if you have other doctors taking care of the problems, i always tell my Rheum doctor when i get sick more like this. Just to check your white cell count and make sure if is not dropping. If it is...then there is good chance you might not have fibro but one of the auto immune diseases that strongly are similar to it. Believe Poly Rheumica is one that is often over looked for fibro.

Just losing your dog makes your more vulnerable to becoming il because you are in grief. I am very sorry about losing your dog. I recently lost dog of same age who could have easily lived to be 18 -19 and always said if he made it to 16 i would not complain.

You sound like you are bit over whelmed and depressed...where speaking to a decent counselor might really help you. Hard part if finding those that really care and match up with you. I know...i found two in all my life, one other that was nice but did not push me to face my issues at all or rarely but was really nice to me and did listen well. Most others and i say i have seen now about 20 ...were burned out, or barked orders at me and that is not their job. Job is to help you find your own right path.

I hope you have some friend/family support for you but sounds like maybe you do not...and that makes it so much harder. IF there is group in your area i would go if can. Even if hard...for one thing it is great place to find the best doctors in your area and meet other in same situation or worse..

I am so sorry you are so worn out and just exhausted. I wish i could make it all better for all of us. I hope you do find some support locally in person. It means so much to have the physical bond especially for us women.

hopefully knowing that others have suffered as you might help. I and others on this site really do care...and you are not alone. we all have been there. I am in many ways myself just over grief of losing my dog and just missing him so much. SO hard to do all those first things with out him around. I really hate it...i just have lost other dogs and know eventually i will get better. ...you will too in time ..but until than we all are here for you.

5

Hi Stephanie,

I am sorry to hear you have multiple infections all at once. Having that surgery lowered your immune system to make you ripe to catch viruses and infections. ((hugs)). To get through this flu, get someone to buy some chicken soup made with REAL chicken. I know Campbell's and Progresso both use real chickens. If you like chicken broth or chicken noodle or chunky chicken soup, all of it will help. It has been scientifically proven to have anti-viral and anti-biotic properties. If you eat it twice a day, you'll get through with it much faster than average. Also zinc lozenges, if the flu has also gotten into your sinuses and upper respiratory system. Zinc makes those symptoms half as severe, and last half as long. I know you are just exhausted and overwhelmed and you think you can't go through the whole thing, so you may need to say "I can get through 1 more hour of this" or even "I can get through 10 more minutes". And if you keep doing that, soon you've gotten through it. We soon learn how strong we really are when it's our only choice. Things will get better. Fibro doesn't make you more prone to infections. Something else would be causing that. You might want to talk to your Dr. about a gamma globulin infusion to increase your immune system. OH NO! You lost your dog too! Well no wonder your immune system is in hiding. All that stress will really lower your immune system. Well sis, it can only get better from here, right?

Love and prayers, Sheila

6

Hi x I suffered to from endometriosis I had a hysterectomy years ago , then ovaries taken 2 years ago , looking back I suffered too , then constant sinus infections , one after the other , and caught viral infections all the time , I was always ill and couldnt get my head round why other people got better quick and I constantly suffered every other month , now the full blown fm , I too have had the same thoughts , how don I find the strength to go through this , constant pain , and we just want to be normal again and function properly , iam thinking of you and hope your pain easies for you we are strong people and I think we get so low we wish the pain to go , we are all here together , iam sending a big warm hug and lots of love , tc care of yourself love angie xx

7

I'm so sorry to hear about your problems. I can only say: If you are going through hell, keep on going!!! And it could have been worst - think about all the things in your life that you can still be thankful for. It always helps me to stay positive. I'm from a third world country (South Africa) where you see much poverty and hardship. I myself went through a very difficult year and I had days of horrible pain and days where I was so tired that I thought I could just stop breathing and die. I had the flu for 5 weeks on end and instead of staying in bed, I had to plan a trip with my husband (who has Parkinson's) to America. When we came back I suffered from jet jag which made me more tired and depressed. A month later I had to start planning for a week long conference for 80 people - their accommodation included. During the conference I lost the tip of my middle finger one night during dinner prep. As if that was not enough, the hospital sent me home without any medication and the whole ordeal cost me a lot of money which we did not have. To make a long story short, I got through it - with half a finger that took ages to heal but I can look back and say that I live to tell the story. Think what you are doing while you are doing it. Don't think of things that can still hit you. Handle what you have right now. We are much stronger then we think. Hang in there. Stay positive. You will get through it.

The bad news is that you are in a hard place at the moment.

The good news is that good days will follow!!

8

Sorry to hear how bad things have been. I know how it feels to have one thing or another hitting you all at once. I have to say keep the faith. When things become more than I can handle I pray and read from my Bible. No one knows more about suffering than God does. I have fibro, a rare condition called xanthogranultoma pelvic inflammatory diseases and osteoarthritis so I have to keep the faith. I hope and pray that things look up for you. Good days will follow…

9

Hi Eeyore and welcome back. I'm sorry you had to undergo surgery but I hope it helps with the endometriosis. And what will you be doing for the stomach ulcers?

As far as your stomach pains, I can't speak as a doctor but I can tell you that I had a stomach bug a few months ago that gave me the most incredible stabbing, burning pains in my abdomen that I've ever felt in my life. It felt like no other stomach bug I've ever had in my life as those always came with dull but painful throbbing. This actually felt like someone was stabbing my abdomen repeatedly with a hot fork. Again, please don't take this as medical advice, but I'm just wondering if you're experiencing the same one/thing? My doc had it too, and she said many others had it, so it seems to be unrelated to fibro, which is the good news. The other good news is that the stabbing pain only lasted a day or two, although the diarrhea lasted for two weeks.

I hope you get to feeling somewhat better today. I found that soup was about all I could eat with it, but it helped.

10

Wow, what an awful time you had of it! I'm so sorry! But you seem to be a very strong and positive person, so good for you. I'm glad you're "better" now, although with fibro, it's never really "better."

11

we're here for you!

12

Thank you every one for your support and kind words. reading through everyones post made me cry. i never knew i could have others care so much.

i cant thank you all enough for all the support you have given. i do feel better reading everything.

i am still sick with this flu. today is day 4. i was able to sleep last night and that was a blessing. i have tried to look for the good things in all of this but its not always easy. i try to be thankful for the little things such as being able to sleep.

right now i dont have insurance and that makes seeing any dr hard let alone a good dr. i cant afford specialist. i have applied for disability. i have been denied twice and i am now waiting to be heard in front of a judge.

i will try to eat some soup but right now its hard to even eat crackers. i have to take small bites till i finish the cracker.

i had not thought that the loss of my dog and having surgery had made me more susatible to infections. that does make alot of sense.

while i hate that so many of you have had the same painful problems it is nice to know that you were able to get through it. i do feel that right now i am going crazy being hit with so much at the same time.

i will do my best to stay positive. having all this support has really helped. i really cant thank you all enough. without this site i dont know where i would be.

thank you all for taking the time to respond it really means alot.

13

Hi Stephanie,

I am sorry for all the trouble in your life. I can't offer you any words to adequately console you because what would I say? Everything will be alright? Well, we both live in the real world. What I will say is some truths that have helped me over the years.

You know that for the last three years I have had several flares of both fibro and my rheumatoid arthritis, a knee replacement, a fractured heel bone, a fractured 5th toe that required surgery, my left femur snapped in two twice in one month , both requiring surgery and the second one requiring total bed rest for 7 months. BELIEVE ME, i understand. Those three years I often thought many of the things you express. I wanted to die but knew I would never hurt myself. I learned just how unfair life could be and that just when I thought I was at the end of my rope, something else would happen. It seemed unreal at times...how can this be happening? I had no periods where i was not recovering from a surgery or illness.

I did learn that sometimes we will never know WHY ME? Sometimes we never get a diagnosis to explain every symptom because medicine does not have all the answers. YOU DID NOTHING WRONG NOR ARE YOU RESPONSIBLE FOR BRINGING ON ANY OF THE MISFORTUNE YOU SUFFER. Tell yourself that over and over again. KNOW THAT SEVERE AND LONG TERM PAIN MESSES WITH YOUR MENTAL HEALTH. Pain can cause thoughts that are dark and disturbing AND pain can and will lie to your brain telling you many of the things you write.

I would suggest some journaling, some distractions like watching movies if that is possible, try and live one day at a time. If you want to talk some time on the phone please let me know. I can really relate.

Your in my prayers

Maria

14

The 3 month long migraine concerns me because that can be a symptom of Chiari which often needs an upright MRI to be diagnosed properly. I have a friend with it. A friend of mine has Arnold-Chiari Syndrome and deals with a lot of headaches. He has fibro also. I have fibro and HEDS which is Ehlers Danlos Syndrome with hypermobility. I mention it a lot here but that's because I know a lot of people have never heard of it. EDS is a genetic connective tissue disorder that causes the body to make bad collagen. Some people with EDS think that they can't have both fibro and EDS but I think the EDS caused fibro for me. There is a new group for fibromyalgia and hypermobility created by the awesome SK if anybody is interested. She posted some HEDS info there too. Not a lot of doctors know much about EDS which makes it hard to get a diagnosis. I'm glad they're learning more about fibro now though. Someone else mentioned autoimmune problems. One of my doctors said that autoimmune problems can come in groups. She sees at least 3 AI diseases in me. I hope things get better for you Eeyoreluvr and that you have a better year in 2013. Hang in there. We are here for you. It's good that we have this group to share our experiences.

gentle air hugs

Susan W

15

Dear Stephanie,

I know you have been 'through the mill', and we are all so sorry, have helped as much as we possibly can from afar, but you telling us that you are having suicidal thoughts makes me want you to call the crisis hot line. Just click on help at the top of the page. We can sympathize with you, and we do, but I think you really do need to contact them. They have incredible resources at their disposal, and they understand your frustration. Please call them, we care about you!

Like everyone else, I believe you should be seen by a Rheumatologist on a regular basis, autoimmune is difficult to detect, sometimes takes considerable suffering before proof of just what it is, is clear to them. They have to be sure WHAT it is causing this.

Love and hugs,

SK

16

First, I got migraines so badly and frequently that I qualified for medical Botox. They give shots around your head every 3 months. It works. My dosage is going up.

Secondly, there are a lot of diseases that are hard to diagnose. I had ulcerative colitis, and it wasn’t diagnosed until 3 days after surgery. There is also gastroparesis that causes horrible cramping. I lost 20 lbs. with the 1st episode. I’ve always been the rare disease type of girl. Maybe you are too.

I have a lot more, but my point is, get a good digestive disease doctor and pain clinic. Stay away from the ER as much as possible. They don’t care. You need specialist.

17

Hi Stephanie,

I am truly sorry for the year you have had and I hope so much that this one gets better for you. I understand totally being at the end of your rope, I've been there, It almost seems like everything you do is causing pain and anguish in your life and really... how much should one person have to deal with?? Please stay strong and know that we are all here for you if you ever need anyone to talk to. One day at a time.

XOX Robyn

18

Hi Stephanie, you for sure have been through way to much !! it’s amazing how strong you are, fibro is hard enough ? It does sound like you have something going on with your Immune system, I don’t think it’s just a coincidence or poor luck, I know you have insurance issues, but some how you need to find one dr that will put the puzzle together . Maybe make a chart with a time line of everything … Ugh, u must be frustrated beyond belief and I know you are trying so hard to keep this job. Is this abdominal pain similar to the abd pain you had right before Christmas ?
Hang in there, I agree with SK … Maybe talking to the help line would help, just having those thoughts are a confirmation that you have been far to much. We can only handle so much… It can’t hurt right,
I’m really don’t know if fibro can be behind all this, but i do think we are very susceptible to auto immune things, as well as a compromised immune system, this is just my thought, I hope and pray the can find out what is going on.
I’m so sorry about your doggie, that alone can stress us enough to lower our resistance. Ah gee that’s just awful, promise you will keep fighting … Better days are ahead
We are here for you !!
Hugs & blessings
dee

19

Yes, I am so sorry about your furry companion. I have 3. They are such a comfort.

20

Wow and I thought I had it bad. I am so happy that you made it through all that and live to tell others. Thank you for your prayers. I hope that things have gotten better for you.
Thank you for offering to talk on the phone I would really like that.
Stephanie