I wasn’t going to post about this, but seeing as I don’t really have anyone else to talk to, I feel I should. I started seeing this doctor months ago and he has done nothing to help me better my life but throw medicine at my problems. He barely listens to me and there is a NP there that has attempted to tell me what I do at home as if she is there with me 24 hours a day. I had this appointment and my mother accompanied me and drove because I couldn’t drive myself. I asked him to come in and speak with me because I have been feeling bad. He asked about fatigue and I told him yes I am fatigued but I am also always in pain and reminded him that this all started after an auto accident. He asked where the pain is and I told him everywhere, which he didn’t understand. I rephrased and told him there are no specific spots it can be literally anywhere and out of nowhere and my mother chimes in vouching for what I’m saying. He says he will give me pain meds. I had just told the nurse the meds didn’t help and he realized she took me off of that same medication and he comes back and says since it didn’t help I’m going to send you to see someone. I say ok, he says “I’m going to send you to a psychiatrist” and slams the door. Now, I am not an emotional woman and do not partake in public displays of emotion, but this hurt me to tears. I couldn’t believe it. I leave out the room and start to leave the office and he comes out and I tell him I am not crazy. He then gives a speech about people and psychiatry and how not only crazy people see them and how they can help with my “problems” to which I responded that I’d like to know how a psychiatrist is going to help me with pain in my muscles, but if you say so. He tells me since I dont think he is helping me I can find someone who will. I am really upset about this because he has done nothing but push meds on me and doesn’t seem to listen to anything I say and I am not the only patient of his that says this. I don’t know where to go from here and I’m hurt. Am I wrong for being upset? I’ve read about this happening to other people and know someone who had a worse incident with their physician, but I could not believe it was actually happening to me. Can/should I report this doctor to someone? I can’t seem to find a doctor that can help me. I feel like this would be a lot less agonizing to deal with if I had a supportive doctor. I don’t need the abuse. Sorry this is so long and for any errors, it was written from my phone.
Do you live in a big town or a small town?
Go to the Psych (request a 30 min slot VS the 15 they will want to give you) & tell him/her EVERYTHING, (it is their job to listen) & some will sum up what you need & suggest ideas, or call themselves to get things moving along. That is how I got all of the help I needed in the beginning 16yrs ago.
If you can, interview your choice of MD's, remember THEY WORK FOR YOU!!! You are the consumer & if you feel you need to inform someone in power, you can complain to the Medical Board in your state. For every person who complains, that person is representing 100 people!!!
I am sorry you had to deal with this jerk, the good news is? You have A witness!!!, who can back you up & ALSO complain. M
I think this would be considered a small town.
I never even thought to interview doctors first, now it seems like a no-brainer. I also didn't look at a psychiatrist visit the way you stated or even know they would help in that way, so you really just helped me a lot and I'm glad you got the help you needed through doing so.
I'm sure you were able to tell that it's not that he suggested the visit, but the way he did it was vastly inappropriate, insensitive and disrespectful. He gave me no information (as usual) on what that could do for me, or him for that matter, so I am seriously considering reporting him.
Thanks so much for the advice.
Luna01 said:
Do you live in a big town or a small town?
Go to the Psych (request a 30 min slot VS the 15 they will want to give you) & tell him/her EVERYTHING, (it is their job to listen) & some will sum up what you need & suggest ideas, or call themselves to get things moving along. That is how I got all of the help I needed in the beginning 16yrs ago.
If you can, interview your choice of MD's, remember THEY WORK FOR YOU!!! You are the consumer & if you feel you need to inform someone in power, you can complain to the Medical Board in your state. For every person who complains, that person is representing 100 people!!!
I am sorry you had to deal with this jerk, the good news is? You have A witness!!!, who can back you up & ALSO complain. M
Hi Miceny,
I had a horrible experience as well a few months back and understand where you are coming from. These insensitive doctors need to be held accountable, and reporting them may help you feel better, no matter what they do. I live in a big town area (near LA), and have a choice of any doctor I want, so I got away from the rheumatologist that mistreated me. I also broke down into tears when he wouldn’t do anything for my pain, that I was maxed out on medications, and then told me to see a therapist. These doctors seem to think they are there to prescribe medications, not to listen to us complain. I found a new doctor and never looked back. As for seeing a psychiatrist, not only can they recommend a treatment that may help, they can prescribe medications for you. I found the most relief I have ever felt from antidepressants (Cymbalta, Elavil), so months after that appointment and a therapist, I am seeing a psychiatrist next month, to get his recommendations and to treat my depression.
Do not be afraid, don’t give up, be strong and keep your advocate (mom) near you at appointments. I am a nurse and I still take a family member so that they do not walk all over me. hugs
Heather
Hi Mirceny, I am sorry that happened to you and I am glad you posted here about it. That is what we are here for, to lean on each other for support. I had a bad experience last year with a Rheumy (not as bad as yours though) and I made a complaint to my managed health care provider and switched doctors. I try to look at it this way, doctors are people as well with different personalities. Not every personality (i.e. rude, disrespectful) is going to gel with mine. So I will look until I find someone who makes me feel comfortable and listens. If you have the option, searching for a new doctor would be a good idea. It might be good to call the doctors office first and ask questions of the receptionist, like "does this doctor treat Fibro," etc. Also, as Luna said, visiting the psychiatrist could help open doors to further treatment. Just keep in mind psychiatrists are people too and some listen better than others so it is important to find one you are comfortable with. Hang in there and please keep us updated on how you are doing. Hugs!!
Hi Heather,
I hate that people go through feeling that way, and from a doctor of all people, someone to respected and expect to have knowledge to assist you. Maybe his intentions in suggesting a psychiatrist were good, I know that not only "crazy" people see psychiatrists, but his approach was very sardonic and offensive and even my mother was shocked.. I really think he thought I was trying to get narcotics or something when I would have been okay with any suggestion and reasonable explanation (even adjusting the dosage, which he suggested before and I tried with a different med)... but this tells me for sure that this is clearly not the doctor for me. I don't want to be coddled, but I don't want to be disregarded or deal with sardonic comments either, and that is how I feel majority of the time I am in that office.
I will look into speaking with a psychiatrist and see how that goes. Seems to be a good idea now that I've gotten some insight from you and Luna. I appreciate it. Also, I'm going to have someone at my appointments from now on like you said. I'm also glad you got some relief, hope I do as well. *Hugs* to you, too. Thank you.
Meow said:
Hi Miceny,
I had a horrible experience as well a few months back and understand where you are coming from. These insensitive doctors need to be held accountable, and reporting them may help you feel better, no matter what they do. I live in a big town area (near LA), and have a choice of any doctor I want, so I got away from the rheumatologist that mistreated me. I also broke down into tears when he wouldn't do anything for my pain, that I was maxed out on medications, and then told me to see a therapist. These doctors seem to think they are there to prescribe medications, not to listen to us complain. I found a new doctor and never looked back. As for seeing a psychiatrist, not only can they recommend a treatment that may help, they can prescribe medications for you. I found the most relief I have ever felt from antidepressants (Cymbalta, Elavil), so months after that appointment and a therapist, I am seeing a psychiatrist next month, to get his recommendations and to treat my depression.
Do not be afraid, don't give up, be strong and keep your advocate (mom) near you at appointments. I am a nurse and I still take a family member so that they do not walk all over me. *hugs*
Heather
Hi Auburnm, I'm very glad I posted here as well. Very helpful :)
Absolutely, I did that while looking for doctors but didn't with that particular office, I will not be forgetting to ask next time because, as you know, it's a terrible feeling. . Sad thing is I told them on my first visit that another doctor already said he was pretty sure I had fibro, but I didn't push it. So there is no way he doesn't know because it should be written in my file/chart. Why are you saying you don't know what's wrong? (doesn't "believe in fibro" perhaps) That obviously is not the doctor, np or staff for me. We did not gel at all and I gave it time. And exactly, I didn't feel I was being listened to so I felt uncomfortable to tell or ask much.
So, yes, back on the search I go. Maybe a psychiatrist first because I didn't feel I needed a psychiatrist before the visit, I do after, and I need the help. Sorry you had to experience this type of treatment yourself and I appreciate your input. I'll post updates. *Hugs:)
Auburnm said:
Hi Mirceny, I am sorry that happened to you and I am glad you posted here about it. That is what we are here for, to lean on each other for support. I had a bad experience last year with a Rheumy (not as bad as yours though) and I made a complaint to my managed health care provider and switched doctors. I try to look at it this way, doctors are people as well with different personalities. Not every personality (i.e. rude, disrespectful) is going to gel with mine. So I will look until I find someone who makes me feel comfortable and listens. If you have the option, searching for a new doctor would be a good idea. It might be good to call the doctors office first and ask questions of the receptionist, like "does this doctor treat Fibro," etc. Also, as Luna said, visiting the psychiatrist could help open doors to further treatment. Just keep in mind psychiatrists are people too and some listen better than others so it is important to find one you are comfortable with. Hang in there and please keep us updated on how you are doing. Hugs!!
I'm sorry you've had to experience that. It does hurt, I felt as if I now had nowhere to turn. Now, posting this here I do so that's the bright side. I've decided I will find a psychiatrist as it sounds like a good route for me to go now. I will find one myself and a new doctor while I'm at it. I don't know how I could allow that individual to oversee my health after I've been treated that way. Anxiety is definitely an issue for me as well, as was depression, and that doctor did put me on medication for it (maybe that should have been when he suggested a psychiatrist). But, I will take the advice from here because it actually feels like actual advice not a mockery. The emotional is definitely something that need to be dealt with and I'm seeing that more and more. I need the support now that I have to look for a new doctor, which can be a hassle as I'm sure you know. I'm glad I joined this site when I did so I knew I was safe to post here. Thank you for your input and I hope your doctors continue to be understanding of your concerns, I appreciate your concern and advice. :)
Lovepink774 said:
I'm so sorry that happened. You have all the right to be upset. That wasn't right. I've had doctors do that. It sucks and really does hurt, I've started crying in doctors many times, I'm a very emotional person. Sometimes it gets the doctor to realize how much help you actually need and really are struggling other doctors they tend to take it as you need psych help. As others have state a psychiatrist might be able to help. I see a psychiatrist they mostly just work with my depression and anxiety, therapist so I can just talk about everything, a urologist for another one of my chronic illnesses, a rheumatologist, and my PCP regularly who just kind of overviews everything. I would say like others have to see the psych tell her what all has happened and how you are feeling, dont worry about judgement. I would also say try to get another doctor. I find with fibro it's good to have someone who kind of deals with the emotional because this illness definitely effects our emotional health and then an MD to deal with the physical.
Mirceny, your pain is absolutely real. I would suggest that you make a thread asking people in your area to suggest a good doctor for you. I think you definitely need a new doctor; one who understand s that pain can, indeed, be anywhere at any given time, when you suffer from fibro. And it sounds as though you do.
As for a psychiatrist? It's not a bad idea because our pain can leave us quite depressed. Not crazy, just depressed from being in chronic pain. I was sent to one too and have found it to be quite helpful, although for different reasons than the pain
Just remember that seeing a psychiatrist is using another tool to get yourself help. Of course, that doesn't mean that you are not in pain, it only is one more method to get some relief.
But be wary of psychs who'll claim to help you feel better through saying cutesie positive statements when you're in bad pain. I've nothing against positive thoughts or trying to use them when I hurt but I personally find it insulting for those doctors to claim that they can "fix" us and our "pain," by saying the cutesie pie stuff. I don't know about you, but when I'm feeling crappy, I don't think sitting arounnd mouthing positive stuff is going to take my pain away.
Hello Petunia Girl,
I apologize for my extremely late reply, but I agree about making a thread for physician suggestions. I have been looking into finding a psych but finding a doctor has been a drag. I don't think I want to hear and be pushed to mouth "cutesies" to myself. I agree, it's not what I'm interested in when in pain. Just need to be heard and understood.
I thank you for your reply.
Petunia Girl said:
Mirceny, your pain is absolutely real. I would suggest that you make a thread asking people in your area to suggest a good doctor for you. I think you definitely need a new doctor; one who understand s that pain can, indeed, be anywhere at any given time, when you suffer from fibro. And it sounds as though you do.
As for a psychiatrist? It's not a bad idea because our pain can leave us quite depressed. Not crazy, just depressed from being in chronic pain. I was sent to one too and have found it to be quite helpful, although for different reasons than the pain
Just remember that seeing a psychiatrist is using another tool to get yourself help. Of course, that doesn't mean that you are not in pain, it only is one more method to get some relief.
But be wary of psychs who'll claim to help you feel better through saying cutesie positive statements when you're in bad pain. I've nothing against positive thoughts or trying to use them when I hurt but I personally find it insulting for those doctors to claim that they can "fix" us and our "pain," by saying the cutesie pie stuff. I don't know about you, but when I'm feeling crappy, I don't think sitting arounnd mouthing positive stuff is going to take my pain away.