I read somewhere someone describe the pain of fibromyalgia as feeling as if you had been run over by a truck. I now know what they meant. I had been doing well on my recovery only to wake three days ago feeling as if I had been run over by a truck, every morsel of my body is in pain. And I don’t mean little pain I mean big pain. On a one to ten pain scale I’m about 9. Everything hurts including my scalp and the soles of my feet. I’ve had to push the pain meds again just to get out of bed. I’m on a slow return to work only doing up to two hours a day 2-3 times a week. That’s been ok but I wouldn’t have been able to go in this morning, I would have had to wait for the morphine to kick in to get out of bed before I could have done that. Fortunately today is not a work day. 6 hours a week is a vast drop from the 40 hours a week I was working until I flared in July this year. Will I ever get back to 40 hours a week- I don’t know. I’ve even noticed that this illness affects my speech and I find myself sometimes slurring like a drunk person. It has affected my balance and I now need to use a walking stick. Much of the time I can’t be bothered eating. It has also affected my swallowing reflex, sometimes I find it difficult to swallow.
I feel robbed, robbed of my ability to do what I used to. Robbed of quality of life. Robbed of my ability to work to support myself. Robbed of joy in life. Robbed of so much and I find myself crying a lot. I am grieving, strange as that might sound, for the life I once had.
There is so much I still had that I wanted to do and now I see a bleak future mapping out for me. I wish I could be more positive, others here seem to be able to remain positive and I can some of the time but at times like right now I’m not able to be positive.
I don’t want to sound like a whiner. I am usually a very positive person but right now I’m losing the battle I feel.
I want to find the truck that ran me over and ask it to reverse and find someone else to run over!
Hi Lindy Loo,
That could have been me! Could have been any one of us really!
So sorry you are so down right now, after doing so well on your gradual recovery. Hopefully it's just a bad day, and not a flare! Sometimes we know what causes this, other times it just doesn't make any sense!
Venting always helps, get that aggravation out of you, so that you can concentrate on getting back up! I understand exactly how you feel, and my heart goes out to you! Though I don't have the CFS, I have my own monsters in addition to the fibro. I'm dealing with the change of weather right now, even had the heat on for a while today, just to take the ache out of my bones a bit!
Hope you feel better very soon!
Big hugs to you,
SK
Lindy-Loo,
I am so sorry to hear that you are not doing well. It is tough sometimes when it hits so hard. All I can tell you to do is try to find one thing no matter how small it might be that has been good on any day, like not having to take as much pain meds and focus on that. It works for me so that I don’t get so down. Otherwise, I allow it to get me down and the disease wins. Plus, if we allow it to take us down, we run the risk of just making matters worse and we get on a vicious merry-go-round. The one thing positive that I can see that you did is reach out for help and that is awesome. We are all here for you and I am just a message away if there is any way that I can help.
Lois
Hi SK this has happened to me more then once where even the morphine seems to have absolutely no effect on the unrelenting pain and just nothing works. I take 150mg Prednisolone which is a steroid I keep on that dose until I start to feel the pain easing off then you very gradually decrease the dose down 10mg at a time, this seems to break the pains grip on your body. It works because prednisolone is the strongest anti-inflammatory their is but it does have some nasty side effects so I would do your own research on it and discuss it with your doctor because I don't know what other meds you are taking and you have to be careful of bad drug interactions, I'm on a lot of medication and have never had a problems doing this and it has been a miracle that saved me from my own private hell, but I only do it as a last resort I have had Fibro for 20+yrs but please be mindfull of the side effects it is a short term medication only I hope you find some relief soon as I can relate to what you are going through I hope this maybe of help to you Warm Hugs Jeannie
Lindy loo- you have every right to get all these feelings out. Doesn’t it feel a little bit better knowing you wrote it down and sent it flying through Internet space? If only our pain would do the same! I’ve been trying to figure out what in the past few days can trigger such immense all over pain. Sometimes it even takes up to 4-5 days to roar it’s ugly head! Any stressor can set me off - for example, planned on having my granddaughters for about 4 hours one morning and the night before it gets canceled. I was all excited to see them and then it falls through. That can set me off and I wake up next day literally forcing myself out of bed. Something as simple as that - here comes the truck!
I give you so much credit trying to continue to work even if its not at your scheduled 40 hours! It took me 8 months to realize that my health was more important than the job I loved for 16 years! I saw a therapist and continue to see her, which helped me realize I was more valuable to my family and myself taking care of me than trying to fight through the pain and the back logged work when my days were shortened. You must think of yourself first and it may take you time to adjust to thinking this way.
I truly hope that truck stays away and you are feeling so much better soon! healing hugs ~ Sandi 
Hi I hear you ive been so sick and nothing seems to help.The last two weeks I been dealing with a sinus headache,pain in my neck etc.I know what it feels like to have pain all the time. I don't feel like doing anything but sleep im so tired doctors don't help.I had a brain scan two weeks and still no results its like pulling teeth.Icant do anything.i don't know why I go back to her.I cant work because of the pain im trying for disability getting a doctor to help that's another story.I hope you feel better sherri
Hi Jeannie,
I simply cannot tolerate Prednisone, it aggravates my hiatal hernia to the point of having to go to the ER, and if I'm on these steriods for 10 days, I am unable to shut my eyes to sleep a wink the entire time. Even if I could tolerate them, with the Osteopenia dx, not sure they would give them to me. I know this med really helps many people, but I'm just not one of them.
I also have Ethyl Chloride spray I can use to ease pain for a few hours. it allows me to ride in the car, take short trips, or just ease up a bad day, which is a true God's send to me! I was warned by my Rheum to use it sparingly, so I do!
I'm pretty okay right now, just feeling the first aches of the cooling weather.
Hope you are well,
SK
Hi Lindy-Loo,
I can certainly relate to the run over by a truck feeling, I get that a lot.
Yes, your life has changed, but your future is not guaranteed to be bleak. As you learn to manage your fibro you will find you are able to do some of the things you enjoy again. Stay positive, and let yourself grieve, get angry, vent--it's good for you. I think many of the people here stay positive because we have this place to come where we know others will understand. Finding this forum has made a world of difference for me, and I hope it does for you too.
My prayers are with you, and with everyone here, always.
Kimberly :)
Many people don’t understand the run over by a truck feeling, let alone the grief that goes with all of this! This thing does rob us of a lot! Sometimes its like someone broke into your house beat you, tied you up, took all your stuff and left you there. Loss is a perfectly sane thing to be feeling!
Its something you’ve got to work through, I think we all still struggle with those feelings, intermittently. I think that’s why we try to encourage one another with positivity.
Think About This
I finally found a way to explain how fibro feels to my husband. It is like sleeping on a bed of marbles moving every which way hurting you all the time.
Shirley
Honey, we’ve all been here at one time or another who are suffering from the ravages of this disease. You are not alone. One idea you may want to consider is to start writing down everything to prepare a case for SSD. If you’re well documented, fibromyalgia is an accepted disease.
I’d try if I were you just to help with finances. Good look hon. Also, you didn’t say if you were seeing a pain management clinic. It’s a good idea.
Wow! Thanks for mentioning the part about having trouble swallowing. I've been having that problem for a few weeks but didn't relate it to the fibro. I can see that it has become worse over time.The aches and pains from this stupid condition feel exactly the way you describe it.
We do mourn the loss of what we used to do. I guess it takes time to deal with what is happening to our bodies. I haven't really come to term with it at all. It is wonderful that people come to this board and mention the different things that are happening because others read it and say, "well that's what's going on with me and I not losing it after all."
II am having a hard time right now thinking of the right words to say how I feel about your post. Having lost some of my reasoning powers I think. Sorry. I can put into words that what you posted was very helpful to me today. Thank you .
Jan
I had surgery TKR Total Knee Replacement Feb. 12. My question was is the recuperating slower than a "normal" person. My surgery went great, because Dr. Arrington was great. He made sure I was not in pain at the hospital or at home. He did make me go out twice a week for PT after one day at home, but it turns out after the first week or so: it was actually good for me. But, believe me I had rather had home therapy, but I I am sure the therapy at the facility was better for my overall use of my leg. I just do not understand why I do not feel better in other areas of my body. In conclusion, I guess Fibro. and Myofacial does affect the rest of the body after surgery.
Also. I had trouble swallowing as well. I went to a Gastroenteritis because I did not think of Fibro., as usual, and was glad I did. He said I have Esophageal motility disorder and my esophagus does not push food down as it should so I have to take small bites and drink liquid after every bite. It has helped allot. Although I still believe that some of it is Fibro. due to the fact that he said he had never had a patient under 85 have it. I am not telling, but I am way far away from 85;; although as you all know, we feel like we are what we imagine an 85 yo feels like.
I also try to get up every morning spending time with the Lord. Sometimes it is hard for us to concentrate reading the Bible and I find someone like Joyce Meyer, Beth Moore, or Marriage with Jimmy and Karen and I get my daily dose of positive thinking. Well I am off tomorrow for my left knee surgery. Pray for me if you like. I will be home Sunday.
All of you take care and don't let anyone tell you that it is in your head. We all pray for a cure, but do not let anyone tell you what you are feeling or not feeling. That sounds like a negative, but even some of the best well meaning people can get you down when they brush over your Fibro. and tell you if you just did this or that you would feel better. or, if you just had more faith in God.
God has a plan and He sees around the corner. Someone who whispers in your ear through others that you are a fake or you could do better if you tried; is not a message from God, but someone else. Only you can make that decision and if you are of faith, keep praying. But, whatever you do, never be hard on yourself due to what people say. How can they know until they have walked in your moccasins? Pain management can be helpful if you do not have an addictive personality because it allows you movement, which is good because we do not have an illness that affects movement; it is the receptors in the brain with the pain. Bye!
Christie