Hi Charlie - this is just a thought. If you want someone to talk to on this website, you can pick whoever you are comfortable with and click onto 'friend' - it's on the website. If they approve, they will accept you and than the both of you can email back and forth personally. I hope I have this right, I am still kind of new too. Good luck and know that we are all here for you! Gentle Hugs! Laurie
I hate what you went through. It's a sad world when women and children have no safe place to go to get away from these a-holes. Charlie :)
Thank you so much. I did not know I could do that, and it would be nice to talk to someone who's been through the same thing. Charlie :)
I know what you mean about planning your life around fibro. I've often made plans to do something and had to cancel because the day I was supposed to go I'd wake up in pain that wouldn't quit. After awhile people quit asking me places, most didn't understand that you never know from day to day (or hour by hour) how you're going to feel. Do you get sick to your stomach when the pain is bad? I do, and i haven't noticed anyone else with this symptom. Maybe it's not from fibro but it sure is a coincidence if it's not. Does that make sense? Charlie :)
Hi Charlie - When you are ready to, find someone on this website that you feel comfortable with and then follow the instructions for picking out that friend that you want - then go from there. If you have any trouble with the instructions, just let me know - okay? Laurie
thanks Laurie, I will. Charlie :)
Wow… I can’t believe i have never taken the time to think about all of this before. Sorry it’s so long. Thanks for asking this important question. I have learned alot about my self.
I have always thought that I handled stress pretty well. My answer has always been to work a little harder. When the going gets tough the tough get going. There are no obstacles just challenges. I have a positive attitude. When i found out about my husbands affairs i went back to college at 38. I got mt teaching degree the my masters all while being a single mom of 4 kids. There was a time when I ad 4 kids in 4 different schools on 4 different soccer teams. When I look back I have no ides how i did it. No fibromaylgia back then. At 50 I went to the doctor for all he routine tests you are supposed to have they found a tumor, removed 18 inches of my colon. It was benign! I was supposed to be in the hospital for 11 days and went home in 2. No fibromaylgia back then. Wait, thinking back I think that is around when it started. I healed fast and was back to work in 3 weeks. Feeling tired, started vitamin supplements. Started PT for lw back pain. Joined a gym to build core strength. Back to PT for severely aching neck and shoulder pain. Arms, hands, fingers, legs falling “asleep”, I started pilates supposed to be good for core strengthanf spinal alignment. Muscle cramping when ever I tried to stretch! I have always been flexible but the slightest movement had me cringing. Pain specialist put me on meds and wanted to do spinal injections. I was miserable but didn’t want the injections. More PT. Bursitis running form hip to knee. Impossible to sleep, had to flip from side to side, arms and shoulders aching every night. More PT, more exercises, more emphasis on core strength and fitness. Exhaustion. Trouble getting into and out of the car. Terrible restlessness of legs in the car any time traveling more than 20 min. Oh…I have never really thought about ll of this before! I have never tracked it. I know now that for 5 years I have been repeatedly back to the doctor complaining about fatigue, muscle aches and pains. Finally I was sent to a different pain specialists and he diagnosed fibromaylgia .
Hi, I had Mono in my late twenties and it was about 6 months after that I started with extreme exhaustion and body aches.Leanne
Laurie, what kind of medication are you on for depression? Tawnycat
Hi Shalynne - You had mentioned having trouble getting out of the car? Me too. I remember when I could just 'slide' right into the front seat and take off. Not anymore. Whether I am a passenger or the driver, I have an awful time getting in. It's my hips that prevent me from doing it easily. I used to be extremely athletic and did a few mini marathons to. In thinking about this, my running could've been the starr of the Fibro I would have in the future. I just don't know anymore, really what could be the REAL reason as to why my disease has happened. But I know that pain increased after my husband started having affairs, like yours did. I had known him 7 years before we got married and had just assumed I knew who he was. Well, he was entirely different after we married. I went into the marriage feeling very healthy. I two healthy pregnancies too. Then when the marriage started to unravel, I started getting sick. By the time I asked my ex-husband to leave, I was saddled with all kinds of ailments. Fibro, Arthritis,essentail tremors of the hands, high blood pressure, migraines,ankylosing spondylitis, Divirticulitis, and all sorts of ridiculous things cropped up. In looking back at all this, it is just amazing what high stress can do, isn't it? I taught me a lot in the ways I was handling things in my life too. Shaylynn, more power to you in trying to get your life back. It's awfully hard at times, to do it, isn't it? Although, I am very happy to be on my own now and I have a great support system with my family and a few friends. When I divorced, the shape I was in physically, was pretty bad. It took quite a while to diagnose everything that was going on with me. I went through a phase where I was extremely furious at what I went through in my marriage. But as time went on, I realized that a lot of it was my fault, from the stand point that I chose to stay with him as long as I did. I have to take full responsibility for this. Physically, I was never harmed by my ex-husband - but mentally and mentally, I was just about destroyed. It took an awful lo of work on myself to really break though and become the person I was meant to be.
I am so sorry for all you went through. Especially the tumor episode. I hope you are doing really well now and I appreciate your feedback so much. I have gotten such fantastic support from everyone here and I feel pivileged, actually, to be in touch with so many people who are suffereing as I am with Fibrol! Please take care of yourself Shalynn. In being in pain as we are, We can only take one step at a time. I have told everyone that through all that I go through, I have learned to be patient and not so hard on my body when things go wrong. Gentle hugs! Laurie
Hi Charlie - I have had to cancel things as well, depending on The fibro. I DO miss being active and going out for fun with my friends, but I had to make a choice. Obviously I chose to listen to my body and do whatever is necessary to take care of myself. It's frustrating at times, when I have to turn down an invitation, but then, again, when feeling well, I can take advantage of the invites that I get. Taking it day by day is not easy - if you have been acitve most of your life. Yes, I do get sick to my stomache, if the pain is bad enough. I think I mentioned this before to everyone hear and to my doctor. It's just the way my body handles the pain. When I reach the peak of that pain, that's when I get sick to my stomache with flu-like symptoms. So, you are not alone in this, Charlie. Laurie
Hi Tawnycat - you wanted to know what I was taking for depression. I take Prozac and it really works well for me. I was started on a low dose to begin with and then the doctor increased the dose to where I am now. I do feel a lot better. Laurie
In 2009 I was due to have a hysterectomy and ended up in er because I had a weird rash…it ended up being a tick bite. And I was told I had lymes… But the doc didn’t treat me with the right med for it…I still had the surgery the next day and put on more antibiotics…after that I kept getting infections after infections so between the lymes. Which is now in hiding!!! And all the antibiotics I think fibro was my bodies reaction…I was only 24 and had been through so much since I had my first child…
Hi Deej - thanks for responding! You have been through an awful lot. Especially in being so young. I was in my early 30s when I was first diagnosed. There wasn't much out that time about Fibro, so I was told I had Arthritis. It wasn't until several years later I was diagnosed with FIbro. Mine started from the stress of my marriage. I went into the marriage extremely healthy, and got out of the marriage very sick with a lot of aliments. Fibro is a very complicated and complex disease. There is so much that we don't know about and I think we all need to push to get this disease acknowledged. I have gone through terrible flareups now for about 30 years. Right now, I find it necessary to have to plan 'around' the Fibro, because I never know when I am going to get another flareup I get pretty angry sometimes as to what this disease has done to me. But, I have learned to be more patient with myself and try to take just one day at a time. This is all I can do. All of us Fibros need to be patient with what we go through. I had to quit my job a few years ago because of it. I just couldn't do it anymore. Also, I have horrible sleeping habits as well. A lot of FIbros have very poor sleep patterns and I am one of them. Do you have trouble sleeping? I spend an awful lot of my bedtime just trying to get comfortable and before I know it, it's time to get up. I am so happy to have found this website though. I had been looking for quite a while for a good website on my disease and, I think this one is the best. The support I get is amazing! Also, mentally I feel so much better because I am not alone with my Fibro. Have you benefited from this website, Deej? I wish I could think of something to make you feel better. Just know that you are not alone in what you are going through. The most important thing, I think, is getting the support that we all need from each other. I do hope you will feel better - and please keep in touch! Hugs, Laurie
This is such a fascinating question. My parents believe I have had some level of fms my whole life. Since birth they say I was “hypersensitive” to touch and would scream as if in pain if I was cuddled. I myself always remember times when blankets hurt touching me sometimes feel like lead weights. I could go on and on. I am naturally very “Type A”. Everything has to be done perfect. I worked 60 hrs a week on average in a very male dominated world quickly becoming a program manager. I ran 3-5 miles 4+ days a week. Mom to 3 kids, member of various nonprofit boards including a local Charter school. House had to be just right. You get the picture.
My whole life I have been this way. I also always crash usually a cold or something would suddenly knock me out for two weeks plus ending in steroids for asthma or a kidney infection that wouldn’t go away.
Four years ago everything fell apart. We have had 7 deaths in that time Very traumatic death of my husbands (and my) best friend. He was single and became very sick in October and died of a rare vasculitis the following January at 34. My husband’s grandfather who I cared for in hospice while working from his home. A close friends mother, suicide of another friend and a friend of my daughters in a motorcycle accident at 14 and two of my close grandparents. I have had 6 surgeries during this time and two additional hospitalizations one for just over month and the second for 2 1/2 weeks. All of these 2 hours from our rural home.
I guess my thought is for me it’s always been there breaking through. The traumas of deaths, illness/surgeries (and the unrepairable damage to my career from constant leave months at a time only to be repeated over and over, a workplace that was anything but understanding, would call me in hospital expecting me to handle things, tell me they pulled funding etc) — now I am raw and the fms is 100% there. I am unable to work, exercise, clean my house or do anything that can stress my body.
I do believe the trauma played a role in the fms becoming so out of control for sure. I just believe it has always been there in some capacity. Sorry for my babble incomplete sentences… I am in a flare thanks to a cold and am on night two of no sleep. My brain is quite foggy to say the least.
Hello :) My fibro started about a month or so after I broke my wrist (well my boyfriend at the time actually broke it). My son was two months old and I was only 21. I was under a lot of stress myself when the fibro started, I had a very traumatic labour and birth of my son, I had post natal depression pretty bad and my relationship with my sons dad was getting worse and worse. I had no friends at that time either so I was always alone. I have suffered from severe depression and anxiety since I was about 14 years old so never even thought it could have anything to do with my fibro. This is a very interesting post, I personally never really thought about how I got Fibro but thinking about my answer to your question, physical, emotional AND mental trauma were all very much present when my Fibromyalgia started.
Kelly xoxo
Hi PaytonsMom - You have really been through a lot. I have had traumatic situations, too, when everything started falling apart. I have come up with this theory that Fibromyalgia lies 'dormant' and then attacks when we are REALLY down and out. I have heard from a lot of women over the years, how something so traumatic has developed into Fibro. I may be wrong, but it sure looks like it. A lot of illnesses lay dormant, then show up when we are at our lowest - physically and mentally. I know how you feel not getting enough sleep. I have lived with Fibro for a little over 30 years. I can't remember the last time I slept though the night! I am sorry that your Firbo limits you in what needs to be done. I am in the same situation. I used to be able to 'whip' though the house, cleaning everything and vacuumig. Now?? I have to either take a break in between my house cleaning or finish it up the next day. I had plans to go out today, but woke up with terrible flare-ups in my back, shoulders and my chest. It can be so unpredictable at times, that it's very hard for me to really plan anything. You certainly have had your share of surgeries. Were they all due to your Fibro?? Now that I am older I am starting to lose friends. I've lost 2 so far, and one of my closest friends has cancer that's spread all over her body. It shakes me to the core when I lose someone that I love and care about. This too, will cause a horrible flare-up. We are always advised to 'keep our stress low' - but I can't do it. This is who I am. Laurie
Hi Kelly - I, too have suffered anxiety and depression since I was only 3 years old. Even at that age, I could sense something wasn't right. It wasn't till I was in my early 20s that I finally decided to go into therapy. It took a long time to figure out what was going on with me. After my marriage, that's when emotionally and mentally I started to understand just how serious my depression was. It wasn't until I was in my mid late 40s that I finally came to grips to what I was going through My ex-husband, treating me the way he did really started my decline into illness. We had dated a few years and I never saw anything that would warn me about him. But after the marriage, emotionally and mentally he really brought me down. By the time I asked him to leave, I had Fibro, high blood pressure, Migrains, tremors in my hands and severe exhaustion. Basically, I was a mess. It took me a few years to get my life back and move forward. I am now truly happy with my life, with the exception of the Fibro, of course. (Smile). I take full responsibility for my illness because I should have left him a lot sooner, but chose to say. Well we all do the best we can, Kelly. Just one day at a time. I am very sore today, so will be taking it easy. Hope you are doing well now?? Gentle Hug, Laurie
Hi Laurie, my story is the same as yours. regarding my ex before and after marriage. We had a long drawn out divorce just to make me miserable and it did left me with Full Blown Fibro.
Gentle Hug, Claudia
i have found this site to be very helpfull…they people her are all amazing!