Important Life Tidbits:
* Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional
* Reason to smile: Every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring
* Insanity is my only means of relaxation
* Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get
* Blessed are those who hunger and thirst, for they are sticking to their diets
* Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstylist you like
* One of life's mysteries is how a 2 pound box of candy can make a woman gain five pounds
* My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely
* Every time I think about exercise, I lie down until the thought goes away
*It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions
* If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts
* Stress reducer: Put a bag on your head. Mark it "Closed for remodeling." (caution, leave air holes)
* I finally got my head together and my body fell apart
* There cannot be a crisis this week; my schedule is already full
* The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing in the right place, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment
* Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.