Well it's JUST the Weather (it's a long one)

First I must give a tiny bit of back story... like most here I have fibro. My Mom has been diagnosed with arthritis and my Dad hasn't been diagnosed but thinks he has arthritis too. What frustrates me is we live in Winnipeg it is sleeting (snowing/raining) today at 2 degrees Celsius, feels like -4 degrees Celsius and today I had been in so much pain I was crying, my legs crumbled underneath me and I fell at school, not a slip just my legs wouldn't work. I then called my Dad to pick me up and I said I am in a ton of pain and everything I fell and am hurt. Well his reply is, "You know it all gets worse with the weather worsening, it's happening to your Mom and I right now too" but he made it sound so simple to deal with like as if I should suck it up. This made me think he can work why can't I go to school? What is wrong with me, am I weak? But then I remember the fact that I am 20 years old dealing with aches and pains all throughout my body non-stop with little relief, brain fog where I can barely remember what the instructor went through last week, this non stop nausea and dizziness. Where as he is 56 years old and dealing with pain mainly in his knees... it comes with age usually it doesn't happen to young people and he doesn't have the other symptoms. The weather may worsen it a bit but really not by much it feels like he doesn't want to believe how bad it all is how it's not just pain that is going on. And it just upsets me so much that he seems to compare the two conditions it's like... dude they aren't the same, not saying what's better what's worse just they can't be judged at the same level cause they are very different. He did come pick me up but I hate that he misses work and he seems mad that I miss classes even though I try soo flipping hard to get through the day it's like he doesn't realize I'm trying. :( He always says, don't socialize, your schooling is more important, if you can't make it to your classes you can't socialize. My form of socializing is my boyfriend comes over and we play video games, watch tv and chill. Most nights I want to leave the house so I do, I go and sit in the passenger seat in my van as my boyfriend drives around the city and we talk not often do I move out of the van and if I want to hang with friends they come chill in the van too. I don't find walking and socializing an enjoyable experience so this has been my solution. Also as for the schooling it's not like I'm falling behind, I study in bed because I can't get out of it due to the pain. Some concepts I'm not grasping but for the most part I've been doing well but we'll see how the mid-terms on the 15-19 go and then he shall be proven wrong. My Dad thinks I'm off doing activities I assume he thinks I'm going out and not just into the van driving around where as I'd love to I really would but I don't have the capability. He doesn't seem to grasp that I am trying he seems to think I could do better but I'm doing my best. This pressure has gotten me so worked up and nervous about my 5 exams but I'm studying soo hard and just things aren't clicking like they did before. I'm using flash cards, highlighting and practising to death but I just don't get some concepts. How can I do these exams when I forget where I put my water bottle, cell phone, mp3 player, jackets and shoes each day? How do I memorize formulas, definitions and many of them sound so similar but are so different? (In a business admin program full time major in marketing)

I know it's long part of this is questions mostly venting thanks for taking the time to hear my rant. Hugs! :)

Dear Shawna,

The venting helps us all. Your Mom and Dad have had years to adjust to having arthritis, as much as you can adjust, and you do really. It is easy to be their/my age and feel like they do, as they are able to look back on their life, but on the other hand, you only get to be young once, and friends and boyfriends are a very important part of the young life!

You are in a good place, and heading in a good direction. Being a parent never goes away, it's built in since birth, your birth! LOL! Sometimes it is easier to just let them say what they need to say, and nod, give them a hug, and hopefully it's over! I'm 57, my Mom is 80, we brought her here to live with us a few years ago, every once in a while she gets on a nagging binge with me, and I finally had to sit her down and lay the law down to her about this! HA! I told her that I was going to turn the tables on her if she didn't stop it! It was just worry, that was all it was, it was her helplessness of my condition coming out!

The fog comes from chronic pain, says my Rheumatologist. I find that if I write things down, that 'hand to mind' helps me to be able to better retain information.

The weather is tough, do your best to bundle up and stay warm!

Post again if you need to get this frustration out, I think you'll do fine on your exams, just keep at it and keep away from any added stress right now if you can! Breathe!

Sending you a hug,

SK

Thanks so much, I truly appreciate it. I know they love me and that's why it just makes me feel so disabled. :( Hugs! I love this group, venting here is understood venting to others is all these strange, confused looks, Lol!

I to understand what you are going through. I was a student at one time as well going through the same thing and just as hard on myself, it was not easy. What you have to do is to figure out a method for each individual course that will help you with your memory, but first slow down and take a breather, if need be ask for an extension if that is possible. Being stressed and nervous will not help you relax and it will definitely contribute in clouding your memory. You can do anything you put your mind to, it may take you longer than your norm, you may do it differently than what you were used to. Having Fibromyalgia is a learning experience . You now have to learn how to COPE, meaning you have to give up the old ways of doing things and learn new ways or methods of doing things differently. Pain limits your abilities, physical and mental and you have to develop your individual methods to work your way through that will help you. There is so much research and everyone has an opinion about this or about that but only you know what works best for you. So do not give up...... Keep up the fight...... AND I look forward to the results of your grades at the end of the term.....

Goa Bless

Gianna

Yours is a wonderful letter and I would strongly encourage you to print it out and give it directly to your father to read. I'd tell him how important school is to you but the pain is beyond handling. Let him read some of our conversations as well. I'm going to tell you that I've had many, many days just like yours with pain just like yours. That you are able to still do school work when you're in astonishing amounts of pain shows what self discipline you have. I can't imagine being able to focus when my brain is foggy and I'm in excruciating pain. Bless you for being so dedicated to what you do.

Arming yourself with information from this site and others and sharing it with your parents might be your best weapon. Hopefully they'll see what you're truly going through. Apples and oranges when they're comparing their pain to yours, apparently. The pain we feel is never ending. That alone is enough to impair your mental functioning, let alone your physical functioning.

Please do come back and share with us, as well as read more here. I'm hoping that you can get through to your parents. It's a tough one but they might get it if you give them information that backs you up.

Hugs,

Petunia

Thanks for the reply! It's good to know I'm not alone on the entire fibro and school thing, most people at my school don't understand the pain and they think that hitting their finger with their straightener is the worst pain ever. I have been trying to rewrite my notes and using index cards but it's difficult when there are terms that are similar eg. collection method and collection mode for example are so similar but yet such different meanings and this is one of many.How do I remember them cause the fog makes it so it's hard to memorize?

I'm just wondering... do you think this would be a good way to explain it to people, friends parents and others?

Do You Know Me?

I’m tired, I’m not, I’m cold then I’m hot

I ache and am sore, it hurts to the core

My feet are so numb, then there’s the pain in my bum

The pains are now shooting from my head to my toe

I’ve got Fibromyalgia, didn’t you know?

My tummy it churns, strange noises it makes

My muscles are tired, they shiver and shake

My hands on the inside won’t work and they cramp up

My head has a fog, I forget where to go

I’ve got Fibromyalgia, didn’t you know?

If you look at my knees, they turn the wrong way

My hair is so dry now it feels like hay I get so hot that I sweat so much or I feel so cold I’m like ice to the touch

My eyes they wobble, flitting to and thro

I’ve got Fibromyalgia, didn’t you know?

Next time you pass me looking quite sad, remember this poem but please don’t feel bad

I’m used to people saying that I can’t be this ill, they don’t see me having to swallow the next pill

I’m living with an illness, will it beat me, oh no..!!

I have Fibromyalgia, didn’t you know??

Thanks so much! My parents know it's a condition, my dad has researched extensively and they support me in joining in on coming to the talks and the recent fibro dinner we went to. I think my dad really doesn't want to admit that a girl who was a jock, playing soccer, kick boxing, swimming (trying to be a lifeguard but had to stop right before I would have completed all the courses as I have epilepsy) and refereeing 5 years ago. Now at 20 my dad can beat me in any race, when we went on our trip to yellow stone a year or so ago was able to climb even more than me where as I am pretty damn good at it before. Check the poem a bit further down and maybe that could help you too! :)

Great poem Shawna! Sure sounds familiar to me!

Thanks, I must not take credit I just found it but there was no name attached therefore I couldn't include one.

Yes I do, along with your own letter and maybe a few conversations from some people on here. I think a combination of sources might help to sink in the information. Can't hurt!

Good poem, btw.

Hi Shawna,

It might not be JUST the weather, but I have found the weather does make my pain worse. :)

I finished a BA three years ago and then launched right into my M.Ed. for two years. I found that typing out the information I was trying to remember was helpful. I would write notes in class, and then type them into Word just to help cement them in my mind. I did the same thing with notes from my reading. Maybe this trick would help you as well.

The other thing I did was take advantage of online study materials, doing quizzes, games, and whatever else that would help me retain information.

Best wishes!

Aww Shawna I was you at your age. The only difference is I had a 18 mo. Old and a new born. I decided to go back to school after my 17.5 year old Dylan was born. So, I started the fall quarter after Dylan was born. I started having lots of issues. Pain, fatigue, mind fog and everything else just seemed to creep up on Me. So I went to the Dr. And he diagnosed me with fibrositis. Gave me flexeril and naproxen and told me to get used to it. I was also working a job. So I would take my flexeril as prescribed and my naproxen the same. But as time and school. Went along it kept getting worse and worse. So one day I went into see the doc and explained to him and he proceeds to tell me I have to pick one or the other. My school or my job and as much as it pained me I had to take the job because my family needed the monies. So now I am a quarter away from having my bachelors in Human Services and 7k well more like 11k with interest in debt to nela. With no end in site. However, it was a blessing is disguise. Because I spent the last 10 years as close to being an attorney as possible which isn’t what I went to school for but I made me realize that it wasn’t truly meant to be.



But here is what I learned in the years since. You can never make everyone happy so make yourself happy. You need to figure out which learning helps you most. If you can get a medical disability claim letter from you doctor the school should have ways you can deal with your testing such as the ability to take notes in with you for your tests. Extended testing times and such. You need to check with your colleges disability information center.



As for family. Find the letter to normals. Print it out and hand it over. You need to calmly sitdown with them and say "you know I love you very much and I know you love me with all your heart however I don’t think you truly understand what I am going through. I know you two have arthritis and I am not discounting the fact that you are in pain. But my pain is different from your pain. Imagine your pain in your knees in every single part of your body from the tips of your hair to the tips of your toes."

I remembered what else I was going to say!.
Fibro fog is often more disabling than the pain. And the FF is cause by the pain. It’s sensory deprivation so the pain takes up every single hour, minute and second of every day. It doesn’t let our mind relax and refresh therefore we have a sensory overload. It’s like being locked in a 9x9 room for 72 hours with just a speaker that’s spitting out the loudest music you have ever heard. That is known use for torture in the military. So I can drive us mad!

I read that some studies have shown that FMS is often worse on the pain scale than rheumatoid arthritis. Which says a lot in and of itself.



I know there is something else I was going to say but it got up and left…said…goodbye! So if I remember it later I’ll post it lol



Take care of yourself Shawna, Gentle Hugz, Punkin

Love it SG!

Love your poem...touched on everything

Hang in there girl we are here to listen to you vent, we all do it and it feels so good

Lots of gentle hugs Vicky