A Life Changing Moment of Clarity

I woke up at 6am this morning, I was in so much pain I woke up crying. I got myself out of bed, took my pain medicines and occupied myself online while waiting for them to kick in. I was on facebook, reading a post from a fellow fibro sufferer when I came across a comment from a woman calling us 'hypochondriacs'. Needless to say after being called that from more than my fair share of people, I lost my temper. In no uncertain terms, I told this woman exactly where she could take her attitude, I felt such a strong urge to stand up for all of us who suffer with this debilitating pain every day. Then, I went outside to smoke. (I'm aware of how bad it is, I'm trying to quit).

It was while standing outside in -20 something degrees that I had an overwhelming moment of clarity and I strongly felt the need to share it with you all.

I've always been a stubborn, do everything myself type of personality. Fibro has been such a struggle for me and I've spent so many years in denial that I can no longer lead the life I once led. This has led to multiple clashes with my health, It has caused me so much extra pain and suffering because I refused to grieve for the life I once had and start a new one, able and willing to accept my limitations. Now, I have to admit that I've slowly been realizing I need to change, it has been my biggest work in progress.

I realized, while standing outside in the cold, that this is bigger than just me. This is bigger than all of us. For the first time I can remember, I concentrated on how the cold felt on my fingers. I focused on the pain buzzing through me and suddenly it hit me... I'M ALIVE! I may be miserable but I'm still HERE. I'm giving my fibro the lead in my life, I'm letting it rule me, bring me down, consume me and take the last shreds of my sanity on my really bad days. One word jumped forefront into my mind. FIGHT! Use the pain, use it to push past the meciocre barrier of 'I'm just here and I'm useless'. I began having high sensory overload. I paid attention to the wind, I looked up at the sky, I took a deep breath and... I SMILED. I had my moment, finally, that I've been waiting for more years than I'd like to admit. It brought tears to my eyes. Here I've been spending all this time, trying to make everyone else happy, pushing myself far past my limitations because I was afraid of being denied acceptance. I suddenly realize that I don't CARE if others accept me or not, this is who I am and it's time I began treating myself with the love and compassion that I give to everyone else.

I've spent this last year throwing myself into fibro support and awareness. I think it's about time that I acknowledge that along with supporting others, I also need to support myself. Stop focusing on the misery all of the time and start living like the person I know is inside of me, just dying to come out. I'm blessed with so many things. I married my knight in camouflage, we have the most amazing 8 month old any parent could wish for and all this time I've been missing out simply because I didn't love myself...until now.

I don't feel that this can even come close to describing my experience this morning, but I know that now, I'm changed forever, for the better. I hope this will help me in my mission to help others and most importantly, to help myself. I hope this touches someone out there and this is why I share, to help others and try to make others feel more understood and not so alone.

Now I'm going to go kiss my sleeping son.

Here's to wishing all of you a wonderful day! Thank you for reading this post. Gentle hugs to all!

Thanks Amanda!! I needed this today! *Hugs*

Yes that moment of acceptence when you finally stop chasing your tail and looking for a cure and coming to terms that your life has changed and you will never be the person you used to be but it's OK to let it go instead of trying to hang on to it or fix it.All people I believe go through this journey, and it gives you the green light to move on even though you have your limitations they are part of you now and the fight is over. I always feel so sad for people who just get diagnosed because they just don't realize what a journey they are about to go on first they don't think it's fibro because they feel like they are dyeing then you try and find a cure and go to many doctors and come across people who hurt your feelings, and are just rude and arrogant, then you try and go on like normal and you can't work and do the hours you once did. It put a strain on marriages, family, and freindships but then comes a moment of clarity just as you described so I know exactly what you are saying and I am very happy for you

Bless you for coming to that understanding. It sounds like it's an important crossroad in your life and I'm happy to hear of how you got there. And thank you for sharing it with us. It will undoubtedly inspire others to move beyond "just surviving" too. I'm struggling to get where you are. It's a hard road. But thank you so much for lighting the way for us, so we can see where we are going. Each of us is a pilgrim on this road, trying to reach a place of peace. I'm really glad to hear that you got there. You deserve it. We all do.

Hugs and happiness,

A weary and sore Petunia

Words of wisdom, Jeannie Debra, words of wisdom. You are sooo right on all of this. And when I was first diagnosed, I was sure that I would eventually be back to my old self again. Wrong! I had to use a wheelchair to get through the airport yesterday. I really thought I could walk it carrying my luggage bag and dog (and not bother the flight attendants) but nope. I never thought I'd need to use a wheelchair for anything and it's hard to wrap my head and emotions around it. My point is that it is hard for those who are new to this, you are so right. Doctors don't tell you the truth about fibo. They claim it's not progressive. But it is. And people deserve to know that so they can work on healing themselves mentally. It can be done. Because, yes we are still alive, and able to still feel and see and think. So what lovely posts you ladies have made. Thank you both and anyone else adding to this!

This post was exactly what I needed today. So, thank you so much for sharing this with all of us FM Survivors! Because we are Survivors who need to remember that we can thrive. We really can!

Keep loving yourself and never ever forget your life changing moment of clarity!

So happy for you what you did was take a lot of negatives hitting you at once the pain, Facebook etc and what you did was turn it around to making a positive out of it and being thankful for your blessing hugs melissa

I understand Amanda! Enjoy your beautiful boy, they grow up much too quickly!

Hugs,

SK

Amen,

We have to embrace the life we have. Not morn the life we had. It may take us longer to do something and a lot of reminding ourselves to slow down and take care of ourselves but we aren't dead. We need to live. My mother was stuck down with MS when she was 35. She was a very active independent women and one day she had an MS attack and a week later they told her she would never walk again. My mom came home and within a month she had taught herself to walk and didn't get back into the wheelchair for another 10 years. (unless she was going out drinking and didn't think she could walk home on her crutches, true story) My mom is my inspiration, she was a fighter. She wouldn't allow others to tell her what she couldn't do.

You have such a wonderful journey ahead with your camo husband and baby boy. Don't let fibro or anything else get in your way of enjoying life. Fibro may slow you don't but don't let it stop you. I believe the key is self-care. Stop when you get tired. Don't try to do more than your body can handle because you will pay for it later. If you have something planned that will take a lot of energy, rest up for it and then after. Your right many of us are givers and over look our own needs for the sake of others and we need to stop. Not stop giving and loving but giving and loving at the cost of our own healthiness.

Gently Hugs to you what an amazing ah-ha moment,

Stacey