I have been thinking a lot about Acceptance and what it means to me. Acceptance is something that we all struggle with everyday. Accepting fibromyalgia, accepting that we might be able to work anymore, changes in our weight, our personality, the loss of friends and loved one who do not understand us anymore. Accepting new people in my life is something that has always been hard for me, building new relationships is hard. It is hard to accept someone else's faults when I have so many of my own. When I joined this group I was welcomed with open arms and made to feel so welcome. When I have bad days and am not quite myself no one ever made me feel odd or selfish or like I did not care about their needs. Because of this page I am learning how to accept myself and other people again. We are all different, we are different age groups, we have different health problems, we live in different parts of the world and have different cultures but for the most part we are able to come together and give each other support regardless of different religious beliefs, cultures, backgrounds, ethnicities, and personalities.
Sometimes someone new comes a long and they seem different than what we are used to and we need to remember that they need support too. We all have days that break us to the point of insanity I know I do days where I wish it would all end and I hate everyone in my life. Days where I come here because you guys are the only ones I have that understand the insanity that I am feeling. Lately I am scared to share those days on the chat because I have seen some judgment towards others. Intentional or not I have seen it and one of those people who made me feel so welcome when I was at my lowest and found this website because I had nowhere to turn for support has been made to feel unwelcome here and made to feel that she is crazy because she had a bad mental moment and came here for support and what she was trying to say was misinterpreted. She has no family and no support in her life and we were her family and to me it is sad that those who ask not to be judged have judged someone who has helped picked me up on my darkest suicidal days and made me smile and see that I am an amazing woman is suffering alone now.
I am asking that we all step back and think about acceptance and how hard it is for us and how much we need it from other people, we crave it and desire it. And that when we are feeling uncomfortable by someone that instead of making them feel unwelcome we have the ability to gently let them them know we are uncomfortable with the conversation without making them feel bad about them selves or like they cannot come back. Trust is a hard thing to gain. And we need it from each other because some of us have no one else. Soft hugs everyone I love you all.
Very well said Squeaks. Im not one to judge so i dislike when others do it. We all need to learn acceptance. If anyone should understand that, it should be us because we are the ones who asks for it most. Hopefully this message you wrote will touch others here and make them see the difference it can make…
Hopefully that person can come back here. Because it is a lot of love. She must’ve just ran into the wrong one
Hi Squeakers - this so spoke to me. I always feel that I am working at accepting my ever changing reality and trying to feel the my family and friends accept who I am now. I hid my issues for a very long time because I feared that I would not be accepted and in the last few years since I gave up working, I have been able to finally accept that this is who I am now. I am trying very hard to be accepting of others and look at each and every person with acceptance because we are all fighting some kind of battle in one way or another. It's not always easy but all we can do is try. Thanks so much!!
I agree with you as we both know I am guilty of making one of those comments accidentally and offending someone. It is a very hard balance with all of these personalities. We have to take everyone into consideration.
Sandy - you are so right. Years ago when I was first diagnosed with CFS I joined a site on Prodigy. Yep - I am that old and it was one of the few outlets I had to talk about this stuff. It was awful - it was about popularity and arguments and always made me feel worse. Years later I joined a site that was about lupus and fibro and it was much of the same. Nothing positive and so much jostling for control. I found this site one night when I was so desperate to be around others who understood. I have found it here and so thankful for all of you!! Big Hugs and Love to everyone!!L Linnie
I wrote a bog sometime ago about how with fibo it's so hard not to lose our empathy for others we deal with pain on a daily basis so we can be quite unsympathetic to people who don't have Fibro, as if to say your whinging about a sore foot, you wanna try this for a week, or I have a terrible headache, you think to your self what a sook we can also be like this with each other on a bad day it's easy to lose your empathy and we must all check our own behaviour we are all guilty of it and if you think your not you really have a problem, we have all been at the end of unkind words from Health professionals, friends and family and people we don't even no and it hurts a lot, but you can't blame a whole group of people for one persons lack of empathy and judgement and if she knew how much she had hurt someone she probably be mortified I will apologize on her behalf because I am truly sorry your friend who felt judged and instead of a soft place to fall she got pain and sadness but that day has gone and theres so many wonderful people here don't let I bad experience undo all the good work and all the valuable support she had received up until her bad experience give it another go you don't know what she had going on that day so you can't judge her to harshly nothing in this world is perfect but this website gives people like us someone to talk to who really understands it is invaluable warts and all
What a nice post! I am very sorry that your friend has not been around. I send her notes often, please tell her I have been asking about her and when she is well enough, would love to have her return to the group!
Kindness is never out of style, and forgiveness is transforming!
Lets all help keep this a safe haven! The group is only as good as the individual!