http://myordinarysimplefibrolife.blogspot.com/2014/03/at-what-point-do-you-say-enough.html
Bonnie, I see no reason to apologize for having a nasty medical illness. At all. I tell my loved ones that many docs now believe that fibro is an auto-immune illness, so they should think of me as having something like MS. It isn't MS, of course, but it affects all parts of our body. If I explain to them that it alters our lives and affects our bodies something like MS, they get it more. They know a little about MS and know it's life-altering. You can print out some of our conversations and show them to your mother, if you wish. She would see the damage that is done to other's lives and would also see that we all suffer from exhaustion and the inability to do much. Plus tons of pain. That you're still able to teach a 5th grade class AND deal with your kids is great. You should be proud of yourself. For someone with fibro, that's incredible. In fact, fibro seems to zero in on type A people who are on the go go go.
I really can't comment on your life with your kids since I know nothing about it. That you love them and care for and about them should be enough for your mother. Just because you cannot care for them as well as you could when you were well does not mean you don't care for them at all nor does it mean that you don't care. Nor does it make you lazy. it makes you striken down by a hideous illness. That is something your mom needs to grasp. Or else you have the right to say, "No more, I'm done with this," and block all messages from her on the matter.
Hope this is helpful, sweetie. Just be aware that you're doing all that you can as you fight with this illness.
Hugs,
Pet
Hi Bonnie!
Just read your blog. I think it's great that your older son feels he is supported enough to bring his bf home for xmas and go on and show those pix!
Your mom may just be from a different time? One where women just sucked it up... I don't know. I do know that sometimes for sanity sake you have to limit your time with certain people. I love my mother and wish our relationship was different but I haven't talked to her in 2 years. The stress surrounding her alcohol problem was just too much for me and I couldn't put my kids thru that anymore. Sometimes you have to do what's best for you.
Sorry I don't have any real insight into your question. I believe that you already know the answer and would just like some validation. I validate your feelings if that helps any. Enough is enough when you feel it is.
((HUGS)) I'll be thinking of you!
Bonnie I love your blog.
I am sorry to hear that your mom is not understanding and is such a negative person. Personally negative people I stay away from, we have a hard enough time keeping ourselves from going there, so we don't need others helping us get down. Sounds like you have plenty of positive helpful family & friends around you and even though she is your mom I think I would try to avoid her as much as possible, and that is sad.
hugs,
Dawn (gramgram)