I was diagnosed about two years ago. My husband was initially very caring, but now he is over it. (As if I am not!). He routinely tells me I need to go get a full time job. I can barely manage what I am doing now-and there are so many times I don’t want to get out of bed because my body hurts, but I have to get my three children ready for the day. I would love to go to work. I would love to be a successful, independent adult. But plans for my life changed. I am so discouraged. I am so disappointed in myself. And is so much harder when I don’t have any support at home, not to mention continued criticism. Anyway, have any of you had a successful method in helping your spouse or significant other into understanding that you not only have fibro, but that it is never going away? Thanks
Yes, I have to remind my husband and kids on a daily basis ! It is like they think this condition will go away bit it is not ! It is very frustrating and i hope in time he will see this. I was diagnosed 4 years ago. I hope things get better for you soon:)
My husband semi understands now. I had him read info that was simplistic so he could understand.
That took nudging from me. It took him being educated from someone else for it to sink in.
He is much better, but I still do more than I should be doing.
Wow I almost thought that I wrote this post. It is just that close to my life. 2 years, 3 kids, and can’t do it… My husband is more supportive but does have to be constantly reminded as do my kids that I am not the same and never will be. They keep hoping though. My biggest fault is that I overdo it to make them happy. I wish I would stop doing that. I guess I would suggest to have him read more on it if possible. Maybe even share some of these posts with him. That’s what I am going to do soon. Gentle hugs…
Jennifer
IM SO SORRY YOU HAVE TO REMIND YOUR HUSBAND EVERY DAY.YOU SHOULDNT HAVE TO DO THAT IF YOUVE BEEN MARRIED TO HIM.HE SHOULD UNDERSTAND BUT SOME PEOPLE JUST CANT UNDRRSTAND NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU EXPLAN.GENTLY REMIND HIM NO YOU CANT DO SOMETHING HE THINKS YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO.I WASNT ABLE TO TRAVEL TO MY SISTERS HOUSE FOR THANKSGIVING.THE TWO SISTERS AND MY PARENT COULDNT UNDERSTAND WHY I COULDNT COME.ITS A 3 1/2 HOUR DRIVE.I TOLD THEM I WAS TOO STIFF EVEN WITH ALL MY EXERCISES I NEEDED TO GET A YMCA MEMBERSHIP AND DO MY AQUA EXERCISES AND ID GET BETTER. I WAS ASKED WHY CANT YOU COME AND THEN DO YOUR AQUA EXERCISES. I SAJD BECAUSE AND REPEATED THE SAME REASON UNTIL THEY UNDERSTOOD.IF PROPLE WHO ARE CLOSEST TO US COULD BE US FOR 1 DAY THEYD UNDERSTAND. MY FRIEND JOAN UNDERSTANDS. SHE SEES ME EACH WEEK AND WE TEXT EACH OTHER EVERYDAY.I WASXAFRAID AFTER THE LAST TRIP TO THE SISTERS AND I HAD TO SIT ON A PILLOW FOR 6 DAYS AFTER I DIDNT WANT THAT OR DOMETHING EIRSE.I DIDNT WANT TO END UO NOT BEING ABLE TO GET OUT OF BED AND TAKE CARE OF HRIDI/ME.ID HAVE TO HIRE SOMEONE TO TSKE CARE OF ME SND BOARD HEIFI AT THE DOGHOTEL.T
B
Thank you all! I have discussed my issues with my new fibro “coach”. But I am still in the early phases of accepting the new me. I had a complete blow out over something this weekend. It wasn’t the best way to voice my frustration, but it worked for the interim. The hardest part of this is that my core believes that I am not worthy. It is awful, but it’s something I deal with daily. The weight of the world is on my shoulders and all I really want is a break. Will it ever happen? Right now, my answer is no.
You ARE a HUMAN BEING & therefore you ARE Worthy!!!
You are Loving, Loveable & Loved!!!! (Louis L Hay).
Have hubby come on here & read as many posts as he can handle. I haven't looked but I think there is a group on here for significant others.
I have a mental health therapist who has become my very own cheer leader, you know... You CAN do it , YES you can, if YOU can't do it NO one can....
I can go to him & complain all I want about anything I want & I am not judged, I am encouraged & I get suggestions I would've never thought of. M
I'm so sorry!! I think sometimes they get burned out and then frustrated or even resentful. It's too easy for "normal"/"healthy" people to dismiss being tired/fatigued or even in pain without thinking we should just "suck it up" and push through like everybody else. The thing is healthy adults in general are far better able to make that work, recover, and more on - we can't. I think too we do too much, we push ourselves hard and then other people seem to think, "see you can, quit complaining." It's very frustrating!!!
Anyway, I agree educating them is the best. These two links might really help. They're both doctors and I believe both suffer from what we do.
http://www.cfidsselfhelp.org/library/family-adjustments-cfs-fm
http://www.cfidsselfhelp.org/library/for-family-friends
Best Wishes,
Butterflydragon