Hello everyone, I'm really confused right now. I've been a pet groomer for going on 8years now and I love my job,it helps to keep me sane. It's getting harder to recover after a ten hour day of constant physical labor. I hurt from literally my head to my toes and can hardly walk by the time I get home. My off days are spent on the couch trying to recover. I've spoken with someone about disability and I have a really good case since I have so many things going wrong. I have severe gastroparesis,gerd,ibs,a hiatal hernia,major depression,and fibromyalgia.I have also started having muscle spasms. I love my job and hate the thought of staying home all the time,afraid my depression will get worse. I feel like nobody takes me seriously and like I'm a burden to my family. Really wish there was a pill that could take away all feeling,pain,joy,anger. anger. Take it all and leave me numb,that's my greatest wish right now.
Hi Holly,
Sorry you are in such a position, illness always puts us in a bad place, all the way around! The first and foremost person to have on your side would be a capable Physician! They can make the difference in how you feel, and in some instances you can even ask for their help in getting through to a loved one, what you are going through.
I'm glad that you posted, and so sorry that you are feeling this way, and concerned about your ability to continue to work, if ever we were in need of something to address this multi symptom, multi system illness, it would be NOW!!
I wish you well, Holly, we are all here for you!
SK
Hi Holly,
I can soooooo relate to your level of pain and exhaustion as I worked a heavy duty job with long hours a few years back. I had to finally quit the job due to fibro, because, as you said, the days off didn't help me to regenerate. I'd crash on my couch and not move all weekend, except to buy more supplies for my clients. Meanwhile, I felt like I had no energy or will to live anymore and I was completely crushed by the back pain.
If you're applying for disability, you can still work and earn about $1,000 a month, but I was told by my lawyers that it's dicey to keep working, as the SSDI folks might feel that if you can work part time then you can work full time. I did it and won my case the first time around but I guess that's not the general rule.
Could you do something less taxing part time like dog walking? You might be able to just walk small dogs or well trained dogs. You could also be a dog trainer at Petco or Petsmart if your legs can still take standing for several hours at a time.
Or you could even do customer service at a pet store. I did it for a short time and it was fun. Of course, fibro nixed the job for me.
If you decide to give up your job, then I strongly encourage you to still work part time or else volunteer somewhere, if you still have the stamina. If not, then maybe make up a schedule of things to do on certain days, along with a time to do them. I'm going to try this as well. For instance, you could go for breakfasts on Monday at 9:30 AM. Tuesday could be a yoga day or water therapy day at 11:30 AM. Wednesday could be a library day at 2 PM. I realize that our illness is its own boss and comes and bothers us whenever it pleases, so obviously the idea of a schedule of things to do would have to be flexible to accommodate the flares.
The truth is, Holly, that fibro is a devil to understand and explain, and it sounds as if your family doesn't understand fibro's impact upon you. One good way of explaining it better to them is called the Spoon Theory. http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/wpress/articles/written-by-christ...
You may not be able to contribute to your family in the ways you did in the past but that doesn't mean you can't still contribute at all. Maybe you can make dinner one or two nights a week. Or clean up the kitchen or living room a few days a week. My contribution is to still do the grocery shopping (getting harder each time I go,) and dinner meals. I only buy prepared food or frozen foods, although maybe I can do a bit more than that when I'm no longer working. But it's a challenge to find foods that are interesting and tasty and not bad for you. My point is that we can contribute in our own small ways, even if it's physically impossible to do it. Listening well and being a good friend is extremely important and something we can contribute even if other stuff is out.
I understand your wish but it's only that way because you've got too much on your plate right now and you need to sort that out. Letting go of activities that cause us great pain or fatigue is one way to regain control of our lives. Learning to listen to our body and do what it tells us is another. Recently I've had to stop dead when I'm delivering a meal to a client because the pain is too much. I have to wait and breath deeply. I don't keep pushing on ahead until I feel more in control again.
I know this is a long list but I hope some of it is helpful to you.
Gentle hugs and wagging tails,
Petunia
Thank you so much,I value the advice and understanding. I do manage some house work and try to cook on my days off. It just seems like it's never enough. Not that my husband complains,he's very helpful. He likes to be in denial about things and makes jokes about getting me a walker and other insensitive things like that. I know he doesn't do this to be mean,it's just his way of coping. I'm sorry that everyone else is having to go through this but I'm so happy to have this group of understanding people.
Thank you so much SK,I'm very grateful for the understanding. So few people realize how important simply acting like you understand someone is. I have a really good doctor,he has sent me to a neurologist and a rheumatologist. Next week I'm scheduled for an eeg and an mri of my brain and my neck. I have good days and really bad days,I try not to get so down but sometimes it just gets the best of me. As you know it's hard to have your life completely change. It's so nice to have people to talk to that know what this is like.
And we're glad to be here for you. And I know that it doesn't seem to be "enough" housework but you've already got a VERY difficult job (I trained as one and now how physically hard it is.) Good heavens, I'm surprised that you don't just collapse halfway through your day.
It might be time to have a gentle talk with your husband about the walker jokes and how upsetting they are. I mean NOBODY wants to end up with one and it's scary to contemplate having to use one. Since fibro can affect our walking, in some of our cases, it's a very real fear, and your hubby really needs to be made aware of this. In other words, NO MORE WALKER JOKES. Let him find another way to unleash his own anxieties that's more positive.
Again, the spoon theory is a good way to explain fibro to others, although I'd prefer to strap bags of wet cement to peoples' backs, legs, arms and stomachs, then let them loose for a day so they'd get a bit of a feel for what fibro's like to live with.
Petunia
Yes yes yes yes yes!!!!! Tell her, kholmes! Because you're right on the money; hard physical work seems to push fibro into overdrive and your body can only handle it for so long before you crash and burn. I did the same thing to my body and regret it. If we can help someone else slow theirs down then we're doing well.