Hello ,
I have always said to my friends, that there will always be someone that has it much worse than you or myself. And it is and always will be true.
Life has thrown a lot of curve balls lateley and during this time I try to keep my own words in mind. I don’t know if any of you have a difficult time handling stress more than you use to? I WOULD LOVE TO HERE FROM YOU IF YOU CAN RELATE. It might help me to understand why I havent handled stress very well. I don’t know if it’s because I’m always tired, or from the pain or that I already feel overwhelmed trying to deal with my fibro that I can’t handle stress very well… I do have anxiety and panic disorder but things are worse now, it doesn’t take much stress to put me in fear or worry mode. PLEASE, if any of you can relate, get back to me. I appreciate it. Thank you : ) Lisa xxxxooooo!
Hello Lisa
After many years of dealing with fibromyalgia and its chronic pain and chronic fatigue it wears us down so that our defences are weak. I feel it more acutely now than I did years ago.
You are not alone Lisa.
Gentle hugs
Rachel
Hi Lisa, oh yes, I can relate. Trust me, it's the pain and fatigue of the fibro that's getting to you. I just went thru an awful flare 2 weeks ago from the cold weather that culminated in falling down stairs and gashing my head on a stone wall, getting into a car accident and getting a speeding warning, later in the week. As my pain became excruciating, my ability to handle anything, including stress, went way down. All I could think of was the pain, there really wasn't any room for any other thoughts. Every day to day problem seemed to be amplified and the fatigue kept clouding my judgment.
If you're ok with getting anti-depressants, I'd suggest asking your doc about them. If you're on them, I'd suggest asking your doc about a dose increase. Sleep is another key factor. Exhaustion will also mess with our heads.
Do you have a sleep disorder? If so, if it's apnea and if it's not treated, it should be. If you snore, CPAPs are essential to getting better sleep.
SUGGESTIONS: Lavender aroma therapy is good for calming down, or else a bath with epsom salts. And keep coming here. It helps.
Hope some of this is helpful to you.
Gentle hugs,
Petunia
I completely relate to you! My stress and anxiety seem to be heightened and when that happens it seems everything is out if control. I just try to give myself time and a place to decompress and relax…
Thank you for getting back to me. It means a lot!! : ) Sometimes we might have an idea of “WHY"
But not always sure. (Second guessing.) sometimes i feel so different than others without FMS and anxiety. It can be something small or There are times when I here about someone I love and it isn’t good, I immediately become filled with fear and want to help them because a lot of people I know aren’t very good at helping themselves or making good decisions with huge consequences to pay.
Then I have have to hear " what’s the big deal? !!! “Why are you getting so stressed out!!!” " Gosh what’s your problem”?!! Ect. They don’t care and aren’t worried about it and it’s not their problem. That’s the way they feel.
If it weren’t for me caring, there would have been a lot of unecasary bad things that could have happened.
They dont think before they do. Although I don’t wish it on anyone. I’m greatful I’m not alone.
Thank you. Hugs to you! XXXOOO
Well, it sounds like you're born with a bigger heart than many. That can be a blessing, and sometimes it can also be a curse. Sometimes it's hard to figure out who to help and who wants no help.
The other half of the coin is, if your worry that your anxiety is kind of taking over on you, you could always talk to your doctor about it. I find that I've needed dosage adjustments on my anti-depressants.
Just keep on truckin', Lisa. We all do suffer in one way or another with fibro. It's impossible for you to measure yourself against a non-fibro person, or for them to measure you against one. You are what you are, and that's okay.
Gentle hugs,
Petunia
Thank you patunia,
Yes I do have a big heart. I always have. I don’t ever see it as a curse because I know God gave me this heart. The anxiety has come from A LOT of trauma in my life. ( you name it) I think God had me experience all the trauma so I could relate to others and be able to help.
On the other hand, I would like for my anxiety to go down a bit so my stress doesn’t get so high that I become so overwhelmed and sick that I can’t function.
I saw a therapist for about a year, helped for a little bit. She put me on an anti depressant . I had heard all kinds of things about this med after already being on it for a while. I didn’t feel it could be good for me. There was no way to ween yourself off and the withdraws were horrible! Never again on that medicine. I tried to do all the right things and something bigger would always come and crash it. I still try to remain positive and hopeful but as all the people on this site know, we have our days don’t we? : )
All I can do is one day at a time and hope that I can help myself along the way. : ) Being on here has opened a door for me to listen and be heard! Such a wonderful blessing!
Hi Lisa, I know exactly what you mean, I was hardly ever stressed before fibro. I think it's from being tired and in pain so much of the time. I also used to have tons of patience now I have zero. I really don't know how to handle stress, right now I either cry or swear. I get really anxious too, I find myself all tensed up without realizing it, either that or I'm clenching my teeth so hard my jaw aches. Mostly it happens when I'm in a car, whether I'm driving or not. I'm constantly worried about something bad happening. I've felt this way since my car accident almost 20 years ago, and if anything it's gotten worse over the years. I imagine tires blowing out, hitting black ice, or some other driver doing something stupid. By the way you're right, there is always someone worse off than everyone of us. I always try to keep that in mind, even if it's hard sometimes. I hope you can get some rest tonight, hugs, Charlie
Stress has been one of the top factors that is adding to all the other increased symptoms as the Fibro gets worse as I get other. Think it’s just because my body can’t take it like it used to. Don’t get me wrong - still had the pain and the migraines and the IBS and the back and neck crap, but I was always able to go onward and get back to work. Now…work is the major cause of my stress. The noise, the smells, the constant interruptions, the up and down, the making mistakes and getting frustrated and the tears come and they never did before! I, like Charlie also fear driving - more so at night and worry weeks in advance if I know I have to. Totally ruins everything. Trying deep breathing, and my therapist really helps a lot. I’ve upped my L-theanine, which is supposed to help with relaxation. Maybe that would help.
I can relate and have always not been able to deal with stress. I have gotten better through the years but after my diagnosis it got worse. I think it is because I carry the guilt that I am not able to do or function how I use to. My therapist and I have a name when I am feeling this way. We call it the feeling of Doom. Like if I don't do everything right and precisely the way things are meant to happen then the universe is going to come and drop the other shoe and bring something horrible into my life or the life of my loved ones and friends. I am slowly learning how to not take on extra things that are out of my control but it is hard when I have always thought I can control everything that occurs in my life it I just pay close attention and take care of everything even when it is not necessarily my job or something someone else could have done.
Sometimes I find that writing things down in a journal helps. You can get all your worry out on the page and look back at a later date to see how things actually turned out and keep reminding yourself it is not as bad as you conjured up in your mind it would be. Also having a big heart is great and I am the same way and love to take care of others but sometimes all you can do is take care of yourself. Remember that stress and other people's issues around you can have a horrible effect on the symptoms of your fibro. I have slowly learned that people can live their lives without me always being there to bail them out of bad situations. Having a big heart is great as long as you are taking care of yourself too.
DLP, this sounds so familiar. We are type A personalities and I am an over-perfectionist!!! Oh my, fibromyalgia is hard on us. But the hard lessons we must learn in order to survive with fibromyalgia are valuable life lessons.
Gentle hugs
Rachel
Hi Lisa. Oh yes. Stress is my biggest enemy. It actually makes my body hurt and incapacitates me if it's too bad. I used to be much more resilient, but have had anxiety forever. I've had a lot of loss in the past 4 years and I think the stress is related to grieving and some level of depression. I think I'm climbing out of the hole, but the problem with stress remains. I have people in life that will stress and trigger tough times for me. To be honest, I really do best alone (with hubby), but I can't live in a bubble, nor do I want to. I started going to Al-anon at the advice of a friend. This meeting helps me understand that I don't have to take on other peoples problems. Even for people who don't have alcoholics or addicts in their lives, Al-anon is a good thing. It's helped me develop a little tougher shell so not as much gets in. I wish I had been going to meetings when my folks were here and I was coping with alzheimers. It would have helped a great deal.
I take meds for anxiety and depression too. It has taken the edge off, but not a cure.
Hang in there, Lisa. We're here for each other. You are not alone. Glad you posted this topic.
L
Hi Rachel,
Yes they are definitely hard but valuable lessons. My body will not let me stress as much as I used to. I tell my brother it is kind of like Pavlov's (sp?) dog where the more we stress and hurt I am hoping the less we will stress down the line because it causes pain.
I had to stay home today because I am so exhausted and feel like I may be coming down with a cold on top of everything else. So why do I feel guilty? I know it is all in my head and my job understands but I usually don't call in sick and have been out a lot lately since I was diagnosed and was out 2 weeks when I had Bells Palsey which started this whole adventure. So I feel guilty = stress = more pain. I need to give myself a break as do we all I am sure. Thank you for your reply and hope you are having a less painful day.