Hi Sue!
In my experience all symptoms can be (greatly) influenced, and the food and local pain issues where talking about here can be reduced to 0-10%. So to put something down to fibro is the easier way out, meaning ‘no idea what’ll help’. If that’s cos the effort to find out isn’t worth the bother, then going into acceptance mode is understandable. (Docs will easily not want to bother, of course, cos they have lots else to do…) But if the suffering is stronger than the effort, it’s helpful and possible to cut thru the vagueness and complexity. Fearing you’re gonna go crazy sounds like you could do with easing it. (But it may also just be just being overwhelmed and not able to cut thru, even with help, and feeling overwhelmed is a criterion for fibro, so can be something again to accept, if we decide to.)
If I may, I’ll try to cut thru what you’re telling me…
You say you have no idea what is hurting, but actually you are brilliantly pinpointing several areas. That sounds as if “no idea” means you’re simply confused by the variety of where it hurts. The reason is probably that there are a number of foods that are hurting, and each hurt it different places, but basically some more stomach (above the navel), some more gut (below the navel).
If you say “everywhere”, then it’s both at the moment. If you suspected your ovaries then it might be interesting to feel if it’s your bladder too (in my 20s it was mine after eating carrots, of all foods!).
Nausea I’d never put down to fibro. There can be many reasons, so it’s a tough one, but in case it’s GI, I’d recommend tackling it after getting a grip on that first.
“The pain in both (alternating usually) sides of the body was fibro as well she said.”
Yes, but that doesn’t mean we can’t improve it! The alternating (“moving” it appears to be) is sposed to be especially typical of fibro. My explanation and experience is that these different parts are connected in 3-4 different ways. To find out the origin of the various local pain kinds, pressing helps me best. Usually in me, and that’s again typical for fibro, it’s the tendons, often around the joints (so some say ‘joints’). So exercises for tendonitis will be able to help. Altho I’ve got my pains almost down to zero when I don’t move much, or even if I do, I have 3 areas at the moment that need working on. The most pressing are my wrists. I know exactly where it hurts, but simply pressing those points isn’t helping. So next I’m using stretches by youtuber DoctorJo for wrist tendonitis. Sometimes I need to try up to 8 videos to find the right kind of exercise for me, but learn a lot in the process. That’s good in case the stretches help one thing, but cause something else. So educating myself helps seeing things in time.
“I tried the Fodmap diet some time ago but didn’t seem to help.”
Yep, that’s the only one that studies sometimes specifically recommend for fibro. But as said I wouldn’t worry about that. Some say you have to try totally eliminating food groups like these (or gluten, dairy or meat) for 2 or 3 months. But I think a reduction to a minimum for a month will usually give a pointer, esp. if it’s emotionally tough for us. If that doesn’t help, I’d try other ways first. But return if those don’t work. I’ve reduced fructans, gluten, dairy and meat for far more than 2-3 months, and several times, actually keep most of these up, but it doesn’t make that much difference. At the moment getting my appetite and weight back up is more important, so I’m treating myself to more gluten (wholemeal spelt buns) and more dairy (e.g. yogurt, but more goat and sheep than cow).
“I don’t eat much bread/cakes, or dairy (mainly soy or almond milk) no cream, ice cream, small amount of butter sometimes.”
That sounds fairly low carb, not sure about gluten, and low dairy. What about meat, doesn’t sound as if you eat much of that either?
“I think my stomach is acidy as I tried to take apple cider vinegar some years ago but had to stop, and the same with peppermint tablets. I think I’ve tried so many things over the years it’s just lately that it’s got worse.”
If it’s got worse lately, it might get better quicker and better the quicker you find out what it is and do something about it. Not sure if the many things you’ve tried were helpful or not, sounds like they were, but aren’t enough any more. (I’ve generally found things didn’t get worse, but they also didn’t get better. Mild apples are something I’ve been able to regularly eat for a long time now.) But maybe it’s only 2 foods that have mainly become additional problems. If acid, I assume you’re avoiding all spicy stuff (pepper etc.), all onion-like (incl. chives, garlic), minty stuff, fizz, sour, citrus. (My speciality: warm food, like toast causes heartburn too.)
Apple cider vinegar could be something else, like high histamine, but peppermint is pretty tell-tale for hyperacidity.
Also it’s good to distinguish all other symptoms from hyperacidity symptoms, GERD/reflux, heartburn and stomach burning. So a stomach ache would be a different problem, mainly eating food that’s off.
“I sometimes wonder if my bad stomach makes my back worse or my back pain is making my stomach worse.”
Could be and could be both, I’ve fairly often had effects like that. But if it is, there’ll be a logic to it, in my experience. Like your bad stomach makes you move and hold yourself worse (bent over instead of shoulders back), which of course will make your back get worse. So trying to hold against any relieving posture, but instead use heat, gentle massaging, calming teas or substances for GI quickly may help those, so you can stretch backwards a bit again. And if it’s your back that is bending you over, your intestines might not be able to work as well, as they are being compressed. But whichever it is, it’s good to hold against it and prevent and alleviate what is possible. So everything you improve will be doubly worth it.
“We do eat a fairly good diet I think, lot of fruit, mostly apples and bananas, and veg mainly carrots and spinach (for me as husband doesn’t like spinach) and peas or mixed frozen veg.”
Well, generally, veggies are far more recommended than fruit, altho I know we were taught differently. Apples and bananas can both be very difficult for GI. Apples would need to be mild / sweet (Gala are the best compromise for me). Bananas are sposed to be healthy, but can be very difficult for my gut, I don’t know why tho. I definitely can’t eat more than 1 moderately sized one. (And now cos the sugar would be bad for my lipids, plus histamine is high.) But for my appetite I’m now eating half of one a day. Carrots I’m fine with, but peas are dreadful for my gut, like some sorts of beans, whilst others are OK (esp. green), anything mixed like mixed frozen veg I’d have to make certain that I’m sure I tolerate all components, typical problem candidates would be peas and onion / chives / leeks.
“Looking for a diet that helps both IBS and fibro is a bit of a minefield and can’t figure out what is left to eat, so many things not supposed to.”
I wouldn’t worry about “both IBS and fibro” at all, or what I’m supposed to, if that’s a problem that doesn’t seem to be helping anyway, like you said with fructans. Instead if you don’t feel a radical elimination diet is necessary I’d first focus on eliminating everything that acidifies, using my suggestions if you don’t yet or web lists for details. At the same time I’d focus on good meals: Is there ever a meal after which you don’t have any GI problems for 4-5 hours? What happens if you only eat those foods all day? (That’d be an elimination diet too, of course…)
Adjusting meal amounts and times may make a small difference.
“I’m going to stop eggs for a while and see if that helps.”
Yeah, that might be an easy one. And if it helps you could still try if it’s the yolk or the white.
I don’t know if it helps or if you’ve seen it already, this was my list of 50 foods/drinks I tolerated last year:
JayCS’s Fibro Blog - #758 by JayCS, I’ve just updated it, it’s now down to 43, and actually only 33 of these JayCS’s Fibro Blog - #1191 by JayCS.
“Or I may just go crazy.” Yeah, we all need to go a bit crazy sometimes… 
But it only “helps” to “let go” for a short time, so always good to go sane again… Cos crazy can often mean depressed, hopeless etc., we don’t want that…
“Thanks for the answer-how’s the gardening?”
Ah, doing fine, but more enjoying and waiting for the sown flowers to come up, the next load can come up, now that no more frost seems expected. Also tidied up and greatly simplified everything, my room, the cellar, but since still getting up between 6 and 7, 2 hours earlier I have more energy and am enjoying the light and the fresh air so much that I find it hard to go indoors, I’m actually spending all day outside now, tons of layers in the freezing early morning, slowly taking them off in the midday heat… Beautiful Life, Everything’s Coming up… well tulips at the moment, not Roses, to quote Black’s songs… and after the magnolia and the cherry now the lilac, rhododendrons and lily of the valley (may bells we call them in Germany). And all the various wild flowers I’m letting grow, those I’m planting are sprouting a little, I’m really excited!