Fibro and hostile work environment

I am so upset and have come to my wits end!!! After four years, I finally was diagnosed with Fibro, this summer, I had two awful flares in two weeks and had to go home. With those flares, I had vomitting and could not get up from the bathroom floor. So...the director demanded that I obtain a doctor's note since I was severally sick a day for two weeks....we are only required to provide a doctor's note after three days, it is in the policy. Well, I had a really bad flare last Friday, and it was horrible, I called my immediate supervisor to let her know that I was ill and on the other end was a passive agressive "your time sheet is due". So this past Monday, the director called me as I was in my office and said I needed to get a doctors note for this past Friday, I told her it was only one day, she said due to my severity I need to provide a note, I told her that I have Fibro and she demanded that I provide a note from the doctor stating this. I am a caseworker for the Dept of Family Services and have been for 12 years, no marks on my employment record and this is how I am treated....I have no energy to fight.

I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this kind of treatment, oh boy can I relate !!! The last year of my 24+ years I had to file FMLA, I couldn’t manage the 4/ , 10-12 hr days on my feet running, I just really needed to not be scheduled more than 2 days in a row, I always put the needs of my department first, stayed late when needed and took call every other weekend. But the min, you say you are sick… Oh brother, how you develop a target on your back, and if your manager doesn’t love you… Forget it !!! The stress is awful…The last 6 months I worked I was able to work 3 days a week, using one day of FMLA, with that…the target got worse, and the stress makes fibro far worse, I prob, could have stayed working if they would have let me go part time, and not work 3 in a row… But sadly I couldn’t go back, I miss my job so much, but I don’t miss the stress people put on me because I couldn’t work 60 hrs a week.
Before you produce a note… Be careful, if there is a way around it, find it, they can use that note against you…
I will never understand why… When someone has a great work history, they try and make trouble, out of something that doesn’t need to be made hard.
Read your policy… Over and over, and fight for your rights… If a note is not needed per policy… Smile and tell your boss nothing !!! They don’t care if you have fibro, some management just likes to try and find things to stir up, it gives them something to do , to try and make the self look good.
I hope you can work this out… Don’t give up !
Hugs & blessings
dee

Please fight! I didn’t and now a 15 year career is over. Find someone to help you fight. I should have made them fire me so that I could collect unimployment. But I resigned because I knew that I could not handle a class of 68 unmotivated students like I used to. Honorable? Maybe, The Right thing? Maybe. Devastating definitely. Tonight as I sit in a chair with pillows stuffed under my arms to cushion the pain, my hips aching. Stabing pains in my back. I know the the stress of going back and being fired would have been awful but now the stress financial, health care and miss givings are eating me alive. Everything is so uncertain. And for me uncertainty breeds stress.

Good luck, please think of your self, and take good care of yourself.

Hi Stuck,

Yup, you're right, this is how people with fibro are treated when trying to deal with their illness while ill. And it's awful.

But I'm wondering if you get fired if you wouldn't have a good lawsuit against them for what they just did to you, since you have a verified disability? And you being employed by the government, no less. Unbelievable.

Frankly, I think it stinks what your job is doing to you. Humiliating and petty. I'm sorry you've gotten fibro and then have to deal with a hostile work environment regarding your fibro. It's awful. I know it is.

I think I'd gladly give them the note about your fibro, while "informing" them that fibro is a recognized disability. Let them chew their cud over that, since you're protected from being fired due to it.

I just have to say I’m soooo sorry for the problems you guys have had with work. I feel very lucky to have the job that I do and though it hasn’t been easy and some days I struggle I have managed to work full time and do my job well. But I have found that its best not to discuss my health issues with other employees or supervisors. My advice is to be sure of the policies and follow them as they are written. I hope you feel better soon.

Hi There, it’s a shame you are going through this. I understand all to well what you are up against.

I use to suffer from severe migraines every month, at the time I was working in the Emergency Room. Their were times when my husband would find me passed out on the floor and have to take me to my ER. The docs and nurses I worked with were wonderful, but my supervisor was $$itch!

She would want a note every time. One day a had to call in because I had been given Demerol for it the night before. She asked one of the secretary’s to bring her my pt. chart and went through it. I was called at home by another Nurse who witnessed it. Well this was after the Hipa laws went in to affect. Boy did I have a field dat with them. Their we’re two people fired, I could have and should have sued however my lawyer told me if I did I would never work as a Nurse again in Florida. Looking back though I wish I had. I never did need a doctors note after that! My advice though would be to document, document, document any time she treats you unfair, calls you in her office. I would have your doctor write a letter about Fibro and your symptoms. Photo copy it and keep it handy. I wish you the best and please look out for yourself at work! Hugs, Leanne

Sorry for the typo’s

stuck in WY

Hi Lots of good information in all the comments,I would stress two things one write everything down in a diary if possible and find a person who you trust to witness and help represent you in your communications. I hope that helps.Barb

I understand the frustration you have in dealing with this situation. Dee is right about reading the policy however most collective agreements;and policies that I have been involved in writing, give management an out so they can request a certificate at any time they think there is a reason to suspect there is a problem (can’t remember exact wording as it’s been six years since I was in the HR field) I’ve seen managers use this when someone’ s sick leave record is fairly high. Are you a member of a union, if yes, I would suggest you contact your union representative, or an HR officer you trust, or employee advocate. I probably would provide the certificate for the one day because you want to be seen as cooperating to prove you we’re sick.
In my opinion (only an opinion) you don’t want to appear to be too adversarial at this point, as it may be a reasonable request. You might want to ask for the request in writing with clarification as to whether this is an ongoing expectation, and the reason for their request. Managers are often very cautious about putting things in writing. You need to know what you’re fighting or if there is really something to fight at this time. You need to pick your battles. I would also document, all situations and discussions you have with your supervisor and director from this point on.

I would recommend that you discuss this with a union rep or other employee rep first but you might want to provide your manager with a note from your Doctor to back up the statement you made that you have fibro , and also stating that it is a recognized disability. I’d also review any policies they have against discrimination.

You might you look to see if there is “reasonable accommodation” policy or in fact state legislation regarding this. The premise of reasonable accommodation, is that the employer is not allowed to discriminate.against a person with a disability and should accommodate up to undue hardship.to the employer. I haven’t read any jurisprudence from the USA so I don’t know how strong this policy/legislation is on the US

These are all suggestions to show that you do have options. I hope you can find someone to provide you with advice that knows the organization and can tell you your rights as an employee YOU DO HAVE RIGHTSI

Good luck, if you like your job it’s worth fighting for.

Hugs

HELLO EVERYONE, THEY DO NOT WANT TO PAY BENEFITS OR PENSION. DO NOT BE SURPRISED!! THIS IS THE WAY OF THE WORLD. THEY COUNT THE YEARS OF YOUR WORK VS YEARS TO RETIRE WITH PENSION. IF THEY CAN GET AWAYS WITH A TECHNICAL ACCUSE! THEY BECOME PENNY WISE AND DOLLAR FOOLISH..

THEY THINK IF THEY SAVE THE COMPANY MONEY ON NOT GETTING YOU READY TO BE LAID OFF OR FIRED THEY THINK THEY WILL GET PROMOTED OR A BONUS. LITTLE DO THEY KNOW IF THEY DO IT TO YOU, THEY WILL DO IT TO THEM EVENTUALLY TOO. DON'T WORRY WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND. THEY ACT AS IF IT WAS THEIR MONEY. LITTLE DO THEY KNOW, IF IS SAVING THE COMPANY NOW A LITTLE BIT OF MONEY BUT, WHEN THEY LET THE PERSON WHO NOTIFIED YOU ABOUT WORK. THEY ARE NEXT ON THE LIST DUE TO A HIGHER INCOME BRACKET.

DON'T WORRY JUST SIT BACK AND WATCH. IF ANYTHING TELL THEM THEY ARE NEXT!!!

GOOD LUCK

LOVE MICHELE AND SERVICE DOG RUSH

Oh, you could have gotten temporary disability! Sorry you did not have any mentors or drs to tell you this.

Work on getting FMLA paperwork done by your physician. I have it for both fibro pain and crohn's disease.

It has saved my behind a time or two. The girls I work with snicker and snear behind my back but you have to look out for your own self.

~L

I agree with Leanne. Get a copy of your work policy, fibro symptoms, drs notes, document, document, etc.

I've worked for my company for 20 years and developed fibro in the last 4. It sure is hard to not be able to do what you used to be able to do, be in pain and so many other related types of discomfort - and on top of that be worried about your job. Although my benefits are good, I've been told by the Human Resources health team that even so, they can choose to let me go if things continue. It's horrible - cause of course there's no way you can guarantee everything is going to be alright and they'll get back the employee they once had. I've seen the attitudes from my higher up manager. It's like she's taken on a special hate for me as she gives off the impression I'm some kind of malingerer. So hypocrital as she's got a son with severe autism and should understand that I fight for a quality of life in and out of work the same as she does for her son. Seems like the best we can do is just to keep giving ourselves the best care and kindness we can no matter what happens as in the long run we really only seem to have ourselves. I don't have a husband etc. I am responsible for helping my son get through college - so I really need this job for us, not just me. I'd say document everything and every interaction that you have with management. If you have a union, ask for advice on dealing with management. Or failing that, go over your bosses head to chat confidentially with someone in Human Resources about what's been going on. Always check the policies cause some Supervisors don't actually know what they are - nor do payroll. So sometimes they're doing things that even they don't know they don't have a legal right to ask of you or do to you. I hope that helps you. It reallly helps to have an advocate like a union re these things but I realise we do not all have that. I totally know what you mean about having no energy to fight. I'd say that the minute you have one of those windows where the symptoms are a little bit better - wait for that and then see someone in HR. Wishing you the best.

I went through a similar situation and it has taken a huge mental and physical toll on me. If you can stay and are able to do the essential duties of your job, with or without an 'accommodation', the ADA is supposed to protect you. If you learn about these laws, get the very basics from a good lawyer, they will have to keep you at your job. If you quit or are fired, yes you may have a case, but it will either cost you a fortune to pursue, which is near impossible when fighting physical illness, or the ADA will not pursue it for you. I won my case in the ADA's eyes, but was told they did not have enough staff to further prosecute, I would be on my own.

I was reinjured at my job after being targeted by my boss, and I stuck it out until I couldn't walk. Take care of yourself, don't make your condition worse, KNOW your rights and don't let this job drive you down. Just my opinion.

Also, it's one thing to tell supervisors what they can and cannot do by law, and I too tried to keep a very low profile and just do my work, only telling them a few ADA facts when I had to. Well, this infuriated them. Problem is, I didn't know enough. If I had had more facts and maybe a lawyer to back me up, they would have backed down as they did later, but I was already too injured and ill to work. I didn't know much of the things they told me they had a right to do were lies.

Basically the ADA is there to help you KEEP your job. So in my case it was too little too late. Good luck, and feel free to ask questions if you need. Someone should benefit from the hell I've been through and learned all this crap the hard way! What a nightmare....

Do you have an HR representative who might be able to intervene on your behalf? You might want to print out some articles about fibro too and bring them in including the Letter to Normals. I had to quit work in 2006 because my job required extensive travel and I couldn't even manage the trip to our local office which was 5 minutes from the house. I had a flare that lasted several weeks. I had an understanding supervisor but many people do not get fibro and that's a huge issue for us. Good luck and try to stay strong. I'm sure the stress your boss is putting you through is making your condition worse too. I would get the doctor to "note" that!

This happened to me too Stuck!\

I changed departments in my former company and went form customer service to an IT department. I was only 1 of 4 women who worked in the department and the only who was a constant in a particular job. About 6 months into getting the job, the fibro started to flare! I kept getting sicker and sicker taking more sick days. My boss understood, but my "coworkers" became hostile toward me because they had to take up the slack because I was out so much. I literally dealt with this for almost a year and a half and I almost lost my mind! I started doing what you did, being physically ill from the stress and being sick. I was eating vicodin HPs like M&Ms just to keep up the pace and not fall behind. Eventually, the environment was so thick with hostility you could cut with with a knife. I was getting paranoid, tense, embarrassed, and so on. When I needed to ask a question, I was afraid to! That is how hostile it was. I kept telling my boss about what was happening and he did nothing. Eventually, I went to HR and they also did nothing but notate it in some database.

After some time, I was at a 2 week training program, I realized how relaxed I was compared to when I was at work!!! So,during this time, I gave it some thought and decided to go and take my FMLA and my short-term disability. It was that bad!

The worst incident was when some idiot, decided to throw either cola or root beer on my yellow Ford Mustang convertible, which I was very proud of! Luckily it was a grey and drizzly day instead of a hot and sunny day because that would have baked on to the paint! I got home as soon as I could and took it off with glass cleaner! I told HR, again no progress because all I had was hunches who did it, not anything more.

So after 2 and a half years at the company I had to leave to protect my health. I was slowly being destroyed from the inside out mentally and emtionally...nevermind physically!

You need to go to HR and keep them abreast of the situation and they can tell you how to get to FMLA and the possibilities of short-term disability for you.

Don't wait until it is too late like I did. It took me 5 years to recover physically from the trauma.

Best of luck!

Americans with Disabilitys Act…number one. It is bad enough we suffer from this disease. A Lawyer and your Dr can ho to bat for you. Number one it really isn’t her business what your medical diagnoses is. I know it is hard but fight cause we are all behind you.
Blessings…
Lindakay

Like other have said...please fight! Even though I brought my boss a note from my doctor saying I had fibro, she said she didn't believe in the disease; that there are doctors who say fibro doesn't exsist. I was diagnosed in 2000, and continued to work full time until lately. I was the admin asst/office manager and we put on special events for our volunteers. That meant gathering the paper plates, ect, loading them in my car, unloading them, setting up the stuff, making sure everything was getting done while my 300 + lbs boss would sit and direct me. It would take me days to recover from it; I just took lots of Motrin, Tylenol, ect. to get through it. It wasn't until I ended up on oxygen due to my COPD that she finally let up on me. I was attending a pain management course when was first diagnosed and it took place in the middle of the day. I used my lunch hour for part of it and had to use sick time for the other hour and a half. My boss would say each week, when is this going to be done? Why can't you do this in the evening? I need you here! So I quit the class after 3 weeks. I cannot begin to tell you the number of times she took off for her kids, grand-kids, her own pain management stuff, training, ect. She would leave me in the middle of the busiest time and I would be the only one in the office. Sorry, I didn't mean to turn this into all about me; I just wanted let you know there are plenty of us who have jerky-a** bosses, unfortunately. Stay strong and push on! Hugs! (gently)

That is what we are here for Lil Al. No need to be sorry.