Fibro, meds, & children

Support
1

Can someone give me some advice on how to handle my 37 year old daughter. She judges me because I have to take pain meds for this fibro among other ailments. She has grown up and gotten a good education. She is a computer programmer for a big hospital. She also makes a very good living.

My problem is that she, like I said, judges me and condemns me because I have to take my meds. Mind you, I do not abuse them. I am very careful with them. I rarely talk to her or see her. She lives about 70 miles away from me.

I am going through a divorce and my soon X texted me yesterday and said that he and my daughter were going to have me committed somewhere. Well, you can imagine how well I took this. My husband knows we do not get along, and for him to drag her in to our problems, is just unforgivable.

So I call her immediately after the text and confronted her. She goes in to this big spill about how I stagger around and slur my speech! Sure, I'm clumsy. I bump into things and I do have trouble walking straight sometimes, but it isn't because of drugs! I take 2 Lorcets, 2 Xanax, and about 3 Soma's a day. She never asks me how I feel today and if I bring up how much pain I am in to her, she just ignores. She thinks it is all in my head!

My father disowned my siblings and I after my mother died and it almost killed me. I always worshiped my father. And now she is doing the same thing to me as he did!

She used to be such a kind and loving person. She would carry dogfood around in her car to feed strays when she saw them.

I am at my wits end. All she does is stress me out when I do talk to her or see her. I can't stand to be around her and her husband. She bit----- on him all the time. I bet she tells him when to breath. And she has the nerve to complain that he drinks too much. I would have already booted her butt out the door. Her husband is not even a man anymore. The main thing that hurts is I have an 8 year old grandson by her, and he is a brat, no one wants to have him around. Instead of whipping his but, she tries to use phycoligy on him and it's not working. (sorry for my spelling)

I am at the point to where I am going to have to end our relationship, as bad as I hate to. I have tried talking to her, but it only ends up an argument. She thinks she knows more than anyone. She has no friends where she works. Maybe it is because she has the habit of correcting someone in public when they misspell, or mispronounce a word. I swear, I didn't raise her to be like that.

Does anyone have any ideas, please help me!!

2

Sorry Tired. What a confusing mess our families tend to be. These two sound toxic.

I have a daughter who has made big, bad mistakes and I forgive her. I have another daughter who talks so bad about her that I cannot stand to be around her. Her bitterness makes me sicker than my troubled daughter does. It's very difficult. It seems to be the way families are. I have two sons that can't get enough of their dad and I. I do not know. I do not have any idea how they all turn out so different.

I am just very sorry Tired. I recommend just staying back as much as you can and eliminate contact without telling your daughter that. Just some space between you would be better for you. You don't have to explain, just set up some boundaries...quietly and take the meds your doctor wants you to take.

Kitty

3

I am so sorry you are going thru this. I will be thinking of you and I hope every things works out for you.

4

I am SO sorry you have to go thru this! I once had to remove myself from my toxic family (Parents, sister, nieces & nephews) for 2 yrs. It was hard to do & I spent 3 days a week in counciling sessions. But I survived & altho I never reconciled w/my mother, I was able to reconcile w/sis & kids. & surprisingly Dad was on my side the whole time. If you are like me & haven't friends in your area ...... there are good people here. Come & vent, come & chat we are here for you. Maggi

5

Dearest Tired,

This is such a heartache! It seems you just can't win with some people, and some of them are ones you love! I don't know what happens for that 'switch' to get thrown, that others get so hard and unreasonable. I hope that you can find a way through all of this.

We are here for each other, and that is priceless.

Sending love and hugs,

SK

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That's is exactly right Luna and the same to you Tired, you have us here and anytime you need a ear we will be here. It seems we all have our family problems, there is no such thing as a perfect family. Sometimes what looks good on the outside is totally different behind closed doors. What I am trying to say is neither of you are alone. I live in NC don't know if either of you live close by or not, but I love to talk as u can see, so just give me a holler.

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Thanki God for all of you wonderful people. I live in Ms about 85 east of Memphis, tn. My ph# is 662-■■■■■■■■, and my name is Candy. It would be wonderful for any one to call and chat with me. It is so sad that only we understand all this pain and heartache. I wouldn't wish this on my worse enemy. God bless and keep each and everyone of you lovely, and big hearted people!

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Well you could really do without that stress can’t you! Its sad how some family members and so called friends can be like that. Have you told these people how hurtful they are and that the stress makes you more ill? If they don’t respond respectfully it may be better to keep some distance. For your own sake. I’ve had very similar problems with people like this and its hard isn’t it.

I try to keep closer to people who have a positive impact on my life and dodge the negative, judgemental ones. They are usually the ones with the real problems…

Lucky you have so many great friends on here to have a laugh with and who love you unconditionally

10

Well, yesterday was awful. I felt sooo bad all day. Went to the doc and he put me on Fentanyl patch. It seems to make me nauseaous. Has it done anyone else like that? But as far as the pain, I believe it is going to help

My husband came over last night to check on me, and he wants to commit me somewhere. He is such a doofus! He said he does not believe in Fibro. He thinks it is all in my head. He said he would like to go to a doc with me, and have them tell him that I have Fibro. What do you do with people like this???

By the way, my first divorce hearing is this morning at 9 am. I'm pretty nervous. He said he can't afford to give me but about $250 a month to help out! Yet, this weekend he is going to a Bike Rally where he will probably drop about $300.

He thinks he is going to be able to live his life like normal. And I will be stuck in this house all the time with no food, or gas to go anywhere! Hope the judge proves him wrong!!! This is for Tammy in Las Vegas ,please send me your e-mail address, I couldn't find it yesterday. Everyone thanks for your support and understanding.

f

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These people are so lucky we don’t all live close together in one community! The idiots! This is where you learn to develop the evil laugh at stupid comments like that haha.

Don’t worry too much at these bitchy comments. They will hang themselves if you give them enough rope. Maybe keep a diary. It will help you as well as help in legal matters.

Good luck and stay strong my friend. The patches should settle down within a week or so.

Love and hugs!

Jo xx

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your are so right, Kelly. I just read your last message, and I swear we could be twins. I also used to have a bad temper. But with age I learned to control it for the most part. It takes a lot to piss me off now, but when I do get mad, Katie bar the door! My husband had to come and take me to the counselor today. ( I didn't ask) He is being so good and kind and willing to help me anyway possible. It makes me sick to be around him. He finally got on the net and read up about Fibro and the hell I live with everyday. It's a miracle, now he believes I have it 12 years later. I am so ready to get him out of my life, get to feeling better, put on my sexy clothes and go stud hunting! ha Just so you can picture me in your mind ( I have got to get a good picture of me and post it) I am 58 yrs old. People say I look 35. I have short dark hair, dark complection, (indian blood). I am 5'3" and weigh about 136 lbs. I am not trying to brag, but when I am fixed up, I do turn men's heads. I'm trying to build my confidence up, bear with me. ha again! Anyway, thank the good lord that we met up. You have really been a blessing to me.

Sleep Tight!

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If it was my adult daughter I would tell her to mind her own business, put them out of site, a lot of familys don't survive this illness if there's cracks any way and then you add Fibro you just havn't got the energy to deal with people who don't believe you fibro changes everyrhing because if you don't make these changes you have no quaiity of life, some men don't like women when there sick you never get rid of this. That's why this place is so important to gei feed back just to reassure your no the only one thinking those thought unless you have this people just can't grasp thar you can be in pain 24\7 365 days of the but we so get it out of your system Jeannie

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Thanks, Jeannie, I also have a new problem now! My husband and daughter pretty much would not leave me alone until I went to see a mental health counselor. She thinks I am borderline personality disorder, and stage 4 Bi-Polar. I have been soooo depressed. I am afraid my husband is going to use this against me at our divorce!

My daughter and huz have been texting each other about me. My daughter hasn't spoken to me. I am scared to death that I am going to get screwed in court, as far as dividing assets. He thinks once I get well, I will come back to him, but I have no intentions. He is a big part of why I am in this shape!

Can I get some input back from you girls, please!!!

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Hi Kelly its Jeannie I would take a completely different approach Iv'e go a toolbox full off doctors that way all the other doctors. government agencies and anyone else leaves me alone. Iv'e got a GP, a Rheumatologist must have a diagnosis saying you have Fibro, a Pain Specialist because I'm on narcotic's it keeps the government stricter guidelines of my back, and a Pyschiartrist proper doctor not a psychologist they don't carry much weight who you pick who will actually help you with your concerns it's got to be someone you like and can talk to can actually help and when the court see's all the help you are willing to take on and it's not a crime to be ill no matter what the condition is battle him with his own weopons and I assure you it helps. I was like you about pyshc, but mine has been very helpful with paperwork on my behalf with other doctors and our welfare agency I'm Australian so don't be scared of them use them to your advantage your a smart lady and tell the kid to but out it's your marriage and she's the child, think about it and let me know how you go don't let him imtimidate you, I thought the USA it was no fault divorce and the property was 50\50 it was in California when I lived there Luv & Hugs Jeannie go girl kick his butt

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Jeannie, my name is Candy. I found out a little while ago from my son, that my daughter is trying to get him to have me committed. What a B---! She has still not called or texted me. It seems like everyone hate me for leaving my husband. For God's sake, my son said my daughter was on his side. She has seen the bruises He left on me, and knows about most of our other problems. I am scheduled to see a Psyc the 18th of Sept. I talked to my husband this morning, and he said he is not signing the divorce papers. My lawyer said he doesn't have to, that I have reason for divorce. He says I am selfish for wanting to take care of myself for a change. If I don't, I swear I'm afraid of what I will do! My counselor said that I have always been seeking love and acceptance, since there was no affection shown in my childhood. I agree! I have married my father 3 times. I don't call it being selfish, I call it self preservation. What do you girls think? One more thing, my son cannot stand my husband because he came back home to live with me when he was 18. My husband eventually ran him off. Of course, I couldn't do anything about it, because at the time I didn't have a job or a home. As far as telling my daughter to but out, I would LOVE to. But there is no winning with a know-it-all!

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Hi it's Jeannie, it's good your seeing someone, that way the pysh will tell you if you are being inappropriate for the circumstances. but if you want a divorce that is your right your not owned by this man you need to seek an attorney to find out what the rules are about in your state but I'm pretty sure a divorce, can still go ahead after 6 mnths once the papers are lodged at the appropriate court house his signature or not but you must get legal advice. I am a RN and let me tell you it is very hard to get someone put in a mental health facility unless you are trying to take your own life, or you are a danger to others then it's only 72hrs maximum it is not easy to take someones liberty away you are in bad need of good advice your counseler or your attorney should be able to answer both of your questions, if he go to hurt you again report him to the police for domestic violence. families can be horrible, I had a horrible family so I know how toxic it can get luv & Hugs Jeannie

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Jeannie, this info helps me a lot. I woke up this morning with anxiety attacks. I do not know which is worse, physical pain or mental pain. They are both awful. Please email me all you want. It really helps me. Like I said, today is gonna be a very bad day! Lots and lots of gratitude to you, and hugs too@!

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Hi be a bit of a slippery slopits Jeannie It is most importnant you find a Fibro friendly doctor,by that I mean he believes in Fibro and will be advocate for you and believes your symptoms and will treat them. It is the most important thing you can do, anxiety medication can a slippery slope becase they are very addictive and instead of facing a problem people tend to just take another pill. you are better of on a good anti-depressant but that's your right so see your doctor he will work it out for you sorry. you are feeling so stressed I think you have got so much going on life wise you need to fix your life and pills can't do that only you can move on luv & Hugs Jeannie

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My Dr treats me for fibro. I probably saw 20 before him before I got diagnosed. I went to one lady Dr early on. I was in so much pain and so fatigued and stressed. Her diagnosis was to speak to a minister. Like I said, I am seeing a counseler now, and the 18 I get to see a shrink and nurse practioner to try me on different meds. So, I am getting counseling. I agree, I do not need, or want anymore pills. But I am sure I will have to get on some kind of antidepressant for my depression. I have been on antidepressants all my adult life. I have just been off them for about 6 or 7 months. As far as my daughter goes, I texted her today and gave her a slight piece of my mind and told her I was going to have to cut contact with her til I'm better. That that would be up to her then. Like I said, she would rather talk ablut me than to me. That hurt, but I had to do it! Thanks for your compassion!