Oh Cookie,
How awful for you, the loss of your daughter like that, no you would never get over that, just learn to cope as best you can I suppose.
I had a severe mental breakdown 3 years ago, I too was Nursing at the time, my son, was a "Green beret" lad, a British Royal Marine Commando, he was on exercise in the UK, living rough for a week on a bleak place called Dartmoor, no civilisation for miles. He sustained a simple cut to his knee! but with the sheep and ponies roaming wild the earth is full of bacteria, within 2 days his knee was the size of his head and he had massive cellulitis and septicaemia raging through his body at an alarming rate.
He was in ITU for days, massive antibiotics I/V, his leg blew up twice it's size with cellulitis, the surgeon said he may have to amputate if he doesn't respond! We drove the 7 hour journey to be with him, luckily he responded and his leg was saved but he has a huge wide scar on the outer side of his knee where they opened his knee up and drained an enormous abscess.
My nerves were bad anyway due him being a Marine but I hid it from him as it was his chosen career, but this incident shook me to the core and I caved in! I couldn't bear anyone else looking after him so as soon as he was fit to travel we brought him home, I left my job and nursed him at home, dressed his wounds, fed him well, and loved him back to health.
But it finished me off!! We spent many a day talking, he had no idea how ill I was becoming, but we got through it together, we are SOOOO close now and proud of each other.
He left The Marines on a medical discharge and went back to being a Gym/personal trainer which he loves, I couldn't face nursing anymore after 27 years, the severe emotional trauma resulted in Fibro.
So here I am now, a housewife, tired and in pain!! I'm convinced that episode of my life brought it on, my pain consultant said it's most likely too. My son has the physical scars, I have the mental ones, we are in it together and constantly there for each other.
Sorry for blabbing on! But sometimes I just need to talk about it....sorry!!!
A lot of us here have been through so much, we are the strong ones!!
Special Love,
Lucy xx