Getting Fired

I officially got word that I am losing my job due to my medical issues, it is breaking me up, all I do is cry, don’t have a clue what I am going to do or survive.

I have been where you are and it is a tough place to be. I lost my profession in 2008 due to my FM. I walked into work one day only to be escorted out. No unemployment and oh I had to pay back a sign on bonus I was given. It is like having the wind knocked out of you. Being a male and being as men put much, if not too much of their self esteem into their work or profession, it felt like the straw that could break this camel's back. I applied for disability, which I would strongly suggest you do as soon as possible, but had to live a year with no income. For three years I had no medical insurance which meant I had to pay for any and all medications and doctor visits. I still owe my doctor money. He told me not to worry about not having money to pay and that if I needed to come in, come in they would be there for me. A perk of living in a rural area I guess. I remember coming home one time after a really terrible day. I must have looked like I was feeling because a neighbor asked how I was doing. I told them that I had had a terrible day and he asked "Why did someone die?" When I said no nothing like that, he said then it's not so terrible is it? Wow, did that put things in perspective for me!

What helped me get through my loss were things I learned in a 12 step program. I know these might seem trite or cliche' I thought they did when I was first told them. They are not, however, and can be powerful tools, as they were and are for me. "One day at a time". All any of us have is now, today. All we have to do is get through today, just this one day. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is an unknown. I was told that if I stood with one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, I would end up pissing on today. KISS (keep it simple stupid), let go and let God and a favorite of mine Think, think, think.

You will get through this, I did. Lean on friends and family, they will be there to give you support. Talk about how you are feeling, not just about the circumstance you are currently in. Most people need to and wanted to be needed, by letting friends and family in you will strengthen the bond between you and them as well as help yourself get through this. I don't know what you medical condition is, I assume you have FM as I do, but there are brick and mortar support groups for just about every disease. I live in the very rural "thumb" of Michigan. Not much up here but farms, the lakes and the Michigan Militia. Yet once a month in the small town of Sandusky, a Fibromyalgia support group meets. If I can find such a thing here in the boonies, imagine what one could find in a more inhabited area!

I know how it feels. No job, ergo no income. Bills and expenses don't stop because one's income goes away. I mentioned disability. Apply for it TODAY. Being a government agency, it takes some time even if you are approved right away. We ended up selling one of our cars and living off what we were paid for it. We had one car for over a year, like my parents did when I was a child. We started shopping at stores that fit our new budget. I called and told our creditors about our new financial situation. We canceled credit cards and stopped using the ones we kept. We took advantage of the "Home Affordable Program" President Obama enacted which lowered our mortgage payments considerably.

The most important thing it to not give up, to not become a victim to despair.

This past Monday, I also got official notice that I was fired. I am devastated and cry on and off all day. I don’t have any friends to lean on and my family is many many states away and we are not close anyway. I feel alone. I am scared about the finances and especially that i will lose my home. I have applied for disability, but have been informed it takes a very long time. So there is no immediate relief in site and have no idea what will happen. Will I become homeless??? I don’t know if I can deal with all this as well as my illnesses.

Please do not give up, or give in to fibromyalgia. If family or friends are not available for whatever reason please take advantage of local resources. I would start with one or more of the largest churches in your area. Even if you are not a member any church worth anything will help you to find resources if they themselves do not help on their own. I worked with mentally challenged people for several years in the supported employment field. While doing this I often had to reach out to community resources, government resources, and local churches to find help for my clients as many were living on very little to begging on the streets at times. I found that there are so many good people in this world if you only reach out and ask for help. Put your ego aside for now and ask for help. In doing so you may find a new career, or a way to help others after you get back on your feet. Try it!