I just am having a really rough day at work and wanted to vent to people who get it. Over the past year or so, it seems that things are just snowballing. I've had family issues, injuries that just won't heal, and of course my fibro has decided to start spiraling. I have been working really hard with dietary restrictions, medications, trying to to manage my symptoms, and even some out of the box things like acupuncture. Nothing seems to be helping much anymore. I have always been a top performer and over the last year and a half I have truly lost that status. I had a meeting with my boss today about my performance and how quickly it has been declining. I have had a conversation with her in the past about my symptoms and things that I struggle with. She always seemed understanding. In today's meeting we also involved one of my other supervisors in the conversation. She was much less understanding. I think she just filled in her own definition of what I am going through, I am just so frustrated with my body and my mind. I am forgetting things and moving much slower. I am truly trying to keep up with their expectations and clearly failing. I always saw myself staying with this company for years to come but I am starting to wonder if its not the right choice. Ultimately they pulled me off a project I have been working on as to not "overwhelm" me and have me focus on other things. This project was really the only thing that kept me going a lot of days because it allowed me to work at my own pace. I was already having a rough pain day, but had sucked it up with a smile and came to work. Being pulled off this project just made it impossible to fake it. I had the mortifying experience of just breaking down crying in the middle of work. I am not normally an emotional person but I hurt, I am exhausted, I can't think, I lost my project, and I am just so angry that I am 25 and already failing in my career. I just want to scream. I know in the grand scheme of things it is not the end of the world. I am just having a very hard time accepting my limitations these days.
I am sorry you are having such a tough time right now. Try to stay positive and get enough rest.
Trust me when I tell you I understand what you are going thru. Everyone here understands. All or most of us have gone thru the same thing. This is not a fun disease.
I feel you pain sweetie. I'm 60 years old and this is so hard for me because I have other issues too. I pray that you will have a blessed and pain free day.
Glad you felt able to vent on here, but notthe fact that you had a bad day and the feelings of losing your career. I so feel for you, and can totally relate. Please do not feel a failure tho, you are not! There maybe adjustments that have to be made in your workplace, or with your meds, or even different strategies to manage your Fibro. I wish you well
I absolutely hate this for you. I’m 31 and have lost a job and almost lost my current one (got demoted to part time) because of this stupid illnes. I’ve experience breaking down at work and feeling like a failure at life because my body won’t cooperate. It’s humiliating and tough, and all we can do is try our best not to care what ignorant people think and be satisfied in knowing we are doing all we can, which takes more effort than most people will ever understand. My heart goes out to you, and I hope things get better, but most importantly try to be gentle with yourself. It’s not your fault.
Hugs!
Karli
I TOTALLY hear you. I recently had to quit a job because of the work environment and demands. I was also a top performer, I worked myself to the bone and never complained to my coworkers or associates about how much pain and fatigue I fight through every single day to make us succeed. The problem is when we choose to ignore or fight through the symptoms long enough, our bodies eventually remind us that we are taking on too much to handle and shut down for protective reasons. The bottom line is that you have to put your health first above all else, because no matter how hard you push, your body is going to send you red flags because it is trying to protect and preserve you. This has truly been one of my own hardest learned lessons and just some tough advice to swallow. You will get through this, and you are beyond strong. But please take care of yourself first and don't be ashamed of what others cannot understand.
Thank you so much everyone for the support. Truthfully I re-read several of the messages to try and force the truth in to my head that it is not my fault these things are happening. After a second meeting yesterday with my supervisors, it is clear that part of accepting my limitations is accepting that this job is not for me. It was implied to me yesterday that I am a liar, and have a lack of integrity ultimately due to my symptoms. I may put up with a lot, but questioning my character is not one of them. I know that I work my hardest and I know that I have done everything I can to do my job. If they can not accept that, I guess it is time to move on. I truly love this community in times like this. Supporting each other really does make a a real life difference.
Wow, I am so sorry Clenway5. Those accusations are completely unfair. I had a similar attack thrown at me when I quit a job I really loved. Bigger and better things for you. Sadly I have experienced first hand that some people's sympathy only travels so far and they truly don't understand how difficult this auto immune disease really is. Keep your head up and you definitely have support here!