I've had a rough day today and really needed to talk about what happened. I'm so grateful I found this support group to find others that have experienced what I have. I'm sure I'm not the only one that has faced this so I would love to hear how you have handled it.
I am a small business owner. I have been in lots of pain due to the stress of running a business. I suspected that I had fibro but wasn't diagnosed until I was six months into my business. It took my husband almost a year to see what this stress was doing to my body. At that point he wanted me to keep trying to make the business work. It all just got worse.
We finally made the decision to close the business after a lot of tears and angst. (2 years) I thought after we decided to close things would get easier. Wrong! Trouble came in the form of an employee. She is a very strong willed person and she didn't have a problem letting me know we were making a mistake. I've been listening to her for over a week.
Today she just totally turned on me. I'm faking my pain she said. I'm just lazy and don't want to work she said. She claimed I am an awful person. I totally went off the deep end. Of all things, I fear people not believing that I am in pain. Do I have to moan and limp to show the pain. NO! I became a crazy woman. Yelling and screaming at her. I just wanted to escape her attack, I wanted to crawl in a hole.
I am still reeling from the incident and don't know how to recover from it.
Please don't tell me to get over it, to just ignore her, or let it roll off my back. I'm not that person. I'm over sensitive, affected by others. But I am working on it. My therapist would say that I know what to do. My brain isn't listening.
I was so sorry to read your story, what an awful experience it must have been, and still is I'm sure. Sadly there are still people out there who don't 'get' this condition, and they are really not worth listeninigto. ( I suspect you know that). What do you get out of faking this condition?!
I can only think to say surround yourself with positive people, at least your husband sounds sympathetic. I do hope you will be ok. Please see the doc as well. Let us know how you get on.
Hello Lorie, thank you for sharing. Hugs to you for having to endure all this stress that has exacerbated your Fibro. You are entitled to your emotions no matter what they are. And shame on this employee, who appears to me to be afraid of the upcoming changes, so she struck out at you. No person should speak to another person like that. I think some of the suggestions mentioned above sound great. Please keep us posted on how you are dealing with this unfortunate situation as well as the other stressors. I hope now that you are closing business your symptoms will lessen. ST
I am so sorry for the day you had a couple of days ago. You don't deserve that kind of treatment, no one does! I do hope things have improved since then. We all have bad days, we can't help it and we all know how they make us feel. As for me, I also had a bad day last week, Tuesday 4/14 and I literally cried all day. I have one of the most supportive husbands in the world and he has no idea what to do when I am crying. He just says, "tell me what to do to help you" and of course there is nothing he can do.
Please know we are here for you anytime and as often as you need us. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.
Hi there, Lorie. I'm sorry that you had such an awful day. It hurts so much when people don't understand us. All I can say is that I can't imagine running a business while suffering with fibro.
When you look back on this time, you wil be amazed at how well you functioned despite the horrid pain and fatigue. Even with your run in. You could have gone completely bonkers on your employee and hit her or worse, but you didn't. You (smartly, in my opinion) drowned out her ignorant rant with your fibro noise. In other words, you made enough noise to effectively stop the barrage of her abuse.
Maybe she was freaking out because she's now unemployed. And that's understandable. But it doesn't give her the right to be abusive to you. You are in non-stop pain. You deserve a lot of respect for handling it because it's a HUGE load of cr#p for one persone to have to handle.
I wish peace for you and peace on you. Please come again. We understand you.
And PS: As someone else suggested, go back to your doctor for more help if you need to.
Thank you, thank you, thank you everyone! I appreciate all your posts. My psyche has improved and I'm trying to keep an upbeat attitude. There is an end in sight to the business so it's easier to cope. I did have a doctor's appt. Thursday but now that I don't have any employees I can't go, BUT I will reschedule.
After I calmed down I realized that my employee is probably upset that I don't have any more tricks up my sleeve. And I will just let it go.
I am so grateful that I found this support group. I was babbling on to my husband about all the information I've gleaned in just a short time. He smiled and nodded in all the right spots!
I am so sorry for the day you had a couple of days ago. You don't deserve that kind of treatment, no one does! I do hope things have improved since then. We all have bad days, we can't help it and we all know how they make us feel. As for me, I also had a bad day last week, Tuesday 4/14 and I literally cried all day. I have one of the most supportive husbands in the world and he has no idea what to do when I am crying. He just says, "tell me what to do to help you" and of course there is nothing he can do.
Please know we are here for you anytime and as often as you need us. Please keep us posted on how you are doing.
Jackie S
Jackie, I'm so sorry to hear you had a bad day too! Hugs
Thanks for sharing. It truely is hard to listen to somone who does not understand. Even harder to ignore and get over what has been said. But sharing and getting it out does help and it is a start on dealing with it. Unfortunately it doesn't help the stress level and takes a lot of time to reverse the effects.
I always go to my most relaxing things that help me cope, my animals, long warm baths and If I can i go to the ocean or the woods. Those are my go too's for my major stress releases when I am overwhelmed. Good Luck Lorie, I hope this will pass for you quickly.
Oh Lorie, I am truly sorry to hear the very hurtful things that were said to you. I have had such insults thrown at me before, complete lies because if our accusers felt what we feel for just one day they would immediately regret their words. I chalk this up to people truly not having any idea what fibromyalgia feels like, they can't relate to it at all so they reason within their minds that it must be something we are making up as an excuse. While this is incredibly frustrating and hurtful, I am so glad that you turned to this forum to vent. I think it is safe for me to say that all fibro fighters have heard very wicked lies said about and to them, and it is a huge relief to me that we have this group to turn to when it seems no one understands. I pray for these people that say such horrible things, that hopefully they will have some seeds of sympathy planted within them and that their eyes will be opened to the suffering around them. Please know that this is not your fault, and honestly if I were in your position I think I would have closed the business too. No matter what you have to put your health first because if you don't you will have nothing to offer yourself or others at the end of the day. I pray your situation gets better very quickly!
Your husband sounds like a sweetie. And he's probably very happy to know that you have a good support group. We've all lived the pain and humiliation, Laurie, so we really do know and understand what you have gone through.
It seems that once people realize that other people out there can and will listen and be supportive, so much of the emotinal luggage that comes with fibro falls away. And then getting some level of pain relief is the other biggie for us.
I think we all have REMARKABLE coping skills. There are times when my mind goes to a very dark place but then I calm down and am able to move on. And most days I'm in a pretty good mood. I think each of us deserves a ton of credit for going through this great dark abyss and emerging as strong and determined people. I am not going to let this illness destroy me or make me miserable. I am not going to let ignorant people define who I am.
I'm so glad to hear that you have support with your husband. And if you ever have someone important in your life act dismissive of your illness, feel free to bring them here to read our stories or read the stories aloud. I have to do this with my family from time to time, as they seem to forget what I am going through about once a year. It usually just takes me reading 5-6 titles of the threads to drive my point home.
Hope you are doing better now!
Petunia
Lorie said:
Thank you, thank you, thank you everyone! I appreciate all your posts. My psyche has improved and I'm trying to keep an upbeat attitude. There is an end in sight to the business so it's easier to cope. I did have a doctor's appt. Thursday but now that I don't have any employees I can't go, BUT I will reschedule.
After I calmed down I realized that my employee is probably upset that I don't have any more tricks up my sleeve. And I will just let it go.
I am so grateful that I found this support group. I was babbling on to my husband about all the information I've gleaned in just a short time. He smiled and nodded in all the right spots!
Yes, yes, and yes! I find that doing the things I enjoy the most or going some place that brings me tranquility helps me to manage my fibro. And I'm not talking about glamourous places, just out on my deck, people watching, or sitting in my favorite corner with my shabby chic lamp and old fashioned turquoise radio. For whatever reason, definitely doing these things help to center me. I am do glad that you brought this point up! I don't think it has been before and it's so, so important!
Gypsco said:
Thanks for sharing. It truely is hard to listen to somone who does not understand. Even harder to ignore and get over what has been said. But sharing and getting it out does help and it is a start on dealing with it. Unfortunately it doesn't help the stress level and takes a lot of time to reverse the effects.
I always go to my most relaxing things that help me cope, my animals, long warm baths and If I can i go to the ocean or the woods. Those are my go too's for my major stress releases when I am overwhelmed. Good Luck Lorie, I hope this will pass for you quickly.