Fear of failure

Does anyone feel like they are letting down others. Sometimes I feel like a horrible mom when i don't have the energy to keep up with my little girl. I always feel like I'm letting people at work down when I can't go in because I'm in so much pain. I'm getting to the point where I am terrified I am gonna lose my job. I'm on my feet all day lifting a lot of heavy parts and not to mention the mental stress of my job for the past 6 years has just taken its tole on my body. I even over-heard my boss say that fibromyalgia was just a name for something because the doctors don't know what's wrong with the patient. Talk about a shot to the heart. Just get kind of discouraged when people don't understand. Sometimes wish they could walk in my shoes for one day just to understand the pain and agony. I suppose I just have to ignore the hard headedness because I know how I feel..... Any thoughts anyone..... I know i'm not alone in feeling this way.....

I too have felt this way but its normal for us to feel this way. We are strong women/men, mothers, workers, students. .who suffer from something that keeps up from reaching our full potential. I have a son who knows very well that mommy is sick sometimes and that's js the way the cookie crumbles.

As for your boss. . .I'd print up a lil research on Fibro and anonymously leave it on his/her desk, just for shits and giggles. See what he/she mumbles then.

this feeling you have will pass. . . .I am sure of it.

Thank you so much for the support Momerrell. This has just been hard. I'm so use to being the person telling everyone "come on get up get dressed let's go!" and now..... not so much :( I know it will pass, honestly still think I am trying to convince myself that it is just my imagination lol. As for my boss that would be fantastic if I could do that! He's too stubborn to even care but definately would give me a giggle.... Thank you

Hi nic, you bet we feel that way! GUILT is a tremendous symptom that we all share. We are all guilty of letting people down, if that isn't bad enough we feel we have let ourselves down!

Fibromyagia has been given a bad rap because in many cases it is a trash dx. It was my first one, HOWEVER, he expained mine as 'Overlap Syndrome' I had symptoms of lupus, RA, RAynaud's, Sjogrens, mixed connective tissue, scleoderma. Since I did not have any at the time, it was given a trash dx as Fibromyalgia. HOWEVER, he explained it better to me as Overlap. I do have Sjogren, Raynaud's, and PsA. So I do have autoimmune diseases.

And according to the Rheumatologist the fibro is a side effect, from the chronic pain of the arthritis and the damage it has caused, however I have Autoimmune in my family and it is genetic.

There has to be an injury, illness, or trauma that is being overlooked here. Though I am not a Doctor, I am just telling you my story and what was told to me by my Doctors.

Nice to hear from you, glad you posted!

Wishing you well,


I often feel guilty because I used to do so much and now I struggle. I am on disability and cried for days after I applied and was then terrified when I didn’t get it the first time and had to persevere to get it. I love my girls but sometimes I just have to go and lie down and other times I have to get someone else to drive them to or from school. I still try to do things with them when I can I just know I will be tired afterwards. I worked three hours last week and my back felt like it was being poked with a stick afterwards and i was so mad at my body for letting me down. It’s like some kind of balancing act that I sometimes fall down on,lol! I also like to believe its all in my head when I have good days but then comes the crash and I know hat it’s all too real. I think too that when you have children especially if you are a single mother like me means that you just can’t always rest when you need to and push through more often so it can be really difficult. Living with chronic pain is hard and just know that this site is designed for support and to realize we are not alone in this. That’s one of the reasons I joined. :slight_smile:

That is my hardest thing is feeling like I am letting everyone down. :-( But on those days just remember how much stronger you are then most people. I know people that are useless because they only got a few hours of sleep the night before. Well me I only get a few hours of sleep every night, and I still get my kids up dressed then to school on time, (I have a 5 and a 6 year old) then to work then back home for dinner cleaning of the house and kids to bed. So remember how much stronger you are then most. And on the tough days and you feel like you are letting your little girl down think of something she likes to do that is low in energy. Like my kids love to read so I have them get there books and I read or they read to me. I also will do a movie night, we pop popcorn and get all snuggled on my bed and watch a movie. I am not running around with them outside but I am still bonding with them, and they love it.

Dominique, I pray for you, I don't know if I could be a single mom with Fibro, you must be one strong lady!

No, nicnic, you aren't alone and you aren't a failure a a mother, a worker or a human being. What you ARE is a very sick woman who has an illness that's very hard to treat. You are also in a job that is probably making the fibro worse. I say that because I was in a similar situation, doing heavy work until the agony in my back finally won and I left the job. The job also made the pain in my knees and elbows much worse and gave me pain in my hands, too. I think it was the real kick off point to my fibro starting. I'm hearing something very similar from you and it's not good.

I'm thinking that part time work or even full time work at a non-stressful, non strenuous job would suit you far better. Yeah, I know, it's a recession. But your job is probably a really big contributory factor to your fibro. I'm not saying that your fibro will go away if you don't have the job but the agony will lessen somewhat. You could also check to see if you're currently eligible for disability:

Social Security disability help from Allsup to get awarded your disability benefits and win your disability appeal. Free disability evaluation at 800.279.4357. About SSDI: Allsup provides a free SSDI evaluation. Call (800) ■■■■■■■■ for more information about how Allsup can help you get the SSDI benefits you deserve

I know that several people from this site have used these lawyers and I plan on calling them this week. I am not working for them or being paid by them, FYI. I think that the most you can make is $1,100 a month in order to qualify.

I'm sorry if this seems like a whirlwind of info. You may not want it or need it today but I strongly suggest that you keep it for later because later will come. Fibro does seem to worsen for most of us, and you need to know what your options are.

Taking good care of yourself by allowing yourself plenty of rest/sleep time, good food and good medical care will help you in this illness. But it's a tough illness, as you know. If you come here, we'll be glad to talk with you and try to help you as much as we can, because we know how lonely it is. And it seems that almost everyone who doesn't have fibro writes it off as "in your head" or "a junk diagnosis." How wrong they are! It's a mysterious, usually disabling illness. So you have EVERY right to be tired, in pain, worried, angry, upset, sad, grieving, etc. It's your RIGHT.

Gentle hugs to you,