It's harder to work!

I am really starting to get depressed...... I need money so I need to work but my illness is seeming to get worst. What do I do? Perhaps I need to find a different kinda job I don't know! I'm starting to feel alone. My co workers dont understand if I express how I feel that day they down play it and tell me about them having a cold or something. Besides my family I feel all alone in this all my friends have walked away I wanna just scream!!!!!!

Thanks for letting me vent!!"
Gentle Hugs.

Amberlyn, I find the key to keeping up with a part-time (in my case) job is plenty of rest and down time each day. Are you working full-time still? If so, can you change to a less challenging (physically and mentally) job? Or less hours or days? What about getting a roommate? A smaller, less expensive place to live?

I am truly sorry that you are suffering due to the disease as well as from the loss of friends due to lack of understanding. I honestly think that maybe 5% of the population who is not affected by fibro can understand it and be compassionate. The rest are stuck in misunderstanding and confusion regarding it. It's not that they don't care in many cases but...they don't GET IT. And how could they? Would you ever believe that something this awful existed?

Please keep coming here to share your feelings and to hear others. We're all going thru similar things. We're glad to help you and want to give you some peace and contentment. We're here.

Gentle hugs,


This is a great posting. You really hit a home run on this one, Avenk. Well done!

Hi Amberlyn,

I totally understand what your saying about not knowing what to do about work. I didn't say too much to my coworkers, but they knew I was in pain.

Do seek some kind of help with the depression, even if it seems just related to work.

I started seeing a psychotherapist for my mental state this summer. I know my stress level affects some of my symptoms. Seeing him and working on issues doesn't cure me, but it has started helping me stop fighting my situation and beating my head on the wall.

I'm so grateful I found this place today. I've been looking for a physical group in my area and found almost none. Today was very emotional for me, I get like that when I can't sleep and/or the pain is higher than average for awhile.


Amberlyn, Wow I can so totally relate, I know about feeling alone, it does seem no one really understands. I fought like crazy to keep working, Iv been off since the end of may and I’m so disappointed I don’t feel better than I do, I thought not working I would feel better ! NOT ! every morning I feel like I have been run over by a train, but I must say I am doing a lot more than I could when I was working, the last 5 months I worked I only worked 3 days a week, 28-30 hrs, that was all I could do & I felt soooo sick ! I can’t even imagine going back to that, I miss it, I want to work, but I don’t want to feel as sick as I did, up till this point I was getting short term disability, now I am applying for LTD, through my employer, but I loose my health benefits at the end of Nov. and the LTD is only for a year ( if I get it) it’s all scary, I support myself, my savings is gone and… Well ya it’s scary, you struggle with , can I work less, can I live on disability ? So many unknowns, and ya, then every day I am asked did you find a job yet, when you going back to work, u look good, what did you do all day, like just shut up, if I could work don’t you think I would be, I have worked for 25 years working full time & raising my kids alone, do they think i want to be sick??? Sorry I get carried away, but ya I understand the " I am really starting to get depressed" you are certainly not alone, and the friends that have walked away, well then they are not really worth using our precious energy on. Hang in there, you can vent any time, it helps all of us not feel so alone.

Hugs & blessings

Hi Dee,

I must say, you've made some darned good points in your post. It's true that staying home doesn't cure the fibro and you still feel like kakadoodledoo all day long. BUT the difference is that you can at least rest up and not have to be responsible for making decisions that pain and fog impact. It's funny, Dee, because I just realized last night that I feel just as miserable (or more so) lying on the couch too long - pretty much what you're saying. I think that no matter WHAT we do, we're going to feel like a truck ran us over every morning. So do we want to feel that way with the added stress and responsibility of a job? To have to show up every day, whether or not we feel horrid? For me, it makes sense now on a part-time basis but I personally think I'd die if I had to work full-time.

As for your financial dilemma Dee, maybe you could work part time and collect disability. I don't know if that would be workable for you or not. It's good that you're looking into all of it from different angles.

I think, Dee, that people ask those questions because they're still viewing you as a healthy person because you look it. They just cannot fathom the illness. There's nothing to show for it. I get where they're coming from but their words are so hurtful. And annoying. Of course you'd work if you could! People don't realize that we AREN'T faking the awful pain. I wish!

Thanks Petunia I always look foreword to reading anything you have to say ! It’s always so right on ! Not to mention compassionate and understanding , your imput is always so appreciated !
Hugs and blessings

Thanks Sid for your response , is your LTD through your state ? Or your employer ? I payed for LTD for 22 years through my employer, not sure they can turn me down, but I’m sure they can make it difficult , I’m sure they will push me to apply for SSDI.
I’m so sorry you have been in bed the past 5 days, I know for me if I sit to long i hurt more, but the exhaustion is so crazy, I never feel rested, and no matter what I do I have to push myself, I’m starting to think I have CFS, and I read that the tx can be the same meds they use for ADHD, in kids it slows them down , in adults it gives you energy, I’m going to read up on it more & talk to my dr.
Hang in there I know exactly how you feel
Hugs & blessings

Thanks for understanding! Im goin to get some help because I don’t wanna feel like this! Im so glad you found us don’t be a stranger!

Gentle hugs


It just makes me mad everytime I hear of someone going through what you are going through with your job and not being able to get disability. It's all your money that you paid in and they make almost impossible for a person to get it. I kept trying to work and then cut my hours down for nine years, then more, then tried working from home, went through all my savings, sold everything that had value in my home, almost lost my home, litigation for a year with no treatment and then finally I got onto ssdi. By then I was a vegetable. I thought, in the beginning, that I would just rest and get better. Wrong. Still the same plus more from going through all the stress and aggravation.

I still wake up sometimes and for a moment I think, is this really happening to me? I know you must feel that way Amberlyn. I am so far beyond caring what anyone thinks. They can bit my toe! Getting from one day to the next is enough for me to do.

Have you applied for disability? Be sure to keep good medical records. Get copies of all your doctor's reports because you might just need them and can't always depend on the doctors to supply sufficient information to the disability people.

I'm glad you ventilate your frustrations here. We all relate to you and it's important not to feel alone.

Hugs to you,


Sid, omg that is unbelievable ! I am so sorry you are going through all that, makes me think I should see a rheumy just to verify my symptoms, I am really praying they just give me the LTD, I should get 60% of my income, which will buy me the time I need to figure out if I can try working part time or apply for SSDI, which will be a lot less than the 60% of my income. I can not believe it takes a year to see a dr. How far are you from the US, I live 15 min to the Canadian border, can you come here? It won’t cost 2000.$ wow I just can’t believe that, I could prob get an apt in 4 weeks to see a specialist, I’m so sorry you have to deal with that. I made an apt today to see a homeopathic Dr. She is actually leaving in 2 weeks to move back to Canada, I will find out we’re she is going, Ontario I think ? I’m coping ok at home, but i get anxious when I wake up at 5:30 am and feel like I should be going to work, I still have not even cleaned out my locker, I miss my job, but I know I could not do what I was doing.
I can not sleep during the day at all, the meds I take keep me awake, and at night I sleep ok with my ambien & lorazepam otherwise I would never sleep. Sounds like you could use something for anxiety, just dealing with trying to get your disability can be anxiety provoking !! not to mention make fibro worse !
Hugs & blessings
Keep me updated

Yes every morning I wake up and think why me! But no I want to try to work as long as I can

I know you want to keep working, and do the best you can. Just be prepared in case your body gives out on you. I pray that it never happens like that for you. You said maybe you need to find a different job. I can only say this to you, pick a job that matches your physical limitations, don't pick it for the amount of money that you will be paid. If possible, find something that you actually enjoy, even if it's less money. This will promote health. I didn't learn this until it was too late. I kept pushing through the pain. Don't do that Amberlyn. Please don't do that.

Blessings to you,


Thanks I sure hope my body doesn’t give out. The weather change is kicking my butt… I wont push myself to hard thanks for the advice