I feel awful to even express how sad it makes me feel, Because I am Truly happy for All of you who have someone they can depend on.I am not a jealous or envious person and I love to see everyone who has a companion, a husband,wife, kids and dogs. that is in the home with them someone to touch talk to share thoughts meals. I want to reach out but its a part of me that doesn't
feel anyone understands the true loneliness I suffer I am posting hoping to find some one in this group that is like me. I ask my self is it Pride? I am making progress in not letting my soul become bitter and cold I have always admired and still do people that are happy and surrounded by family and friends. I miss having a active life if only I didn't have to feel like I don't matter anymore.. I don't want anyone to misunderstand what i'm saying I am Blessed to have All of you and your support is priceless, I don't have no one who really knows what my life has been like the past few years behind close doors has been like torture. i just need to release and move on I have been blessed and I know that God is with me. I have good and positive things to share as I get more active here, I feel like a taker coming to you and I want to be a giver I have Always been known for helping others ,kindness and treating others the way I would want to be treated or so I thought but I am learning that most uncaring people has taken me for granted and I am left standing alone, I don't know where I'm headed But I have faith in the One who does and I have Hope that His plans for my life is for my good and to give Him the glory. Thanks for listen now gotta get my packing done moving in less than 2 weeks and looking forward to getting settled in, I feel all over the place.. Blessings to All
You can feel lonely when you are not alone, because only you know how poorly you feel, be it emotionally or physically. Even trying to explain what we feel like with the pain and the fibro fog, no one can walk in your shoes.
I live with my husband and he tries to understand, but I don't think he can. That is a reason I am so happy to have found this group, to be able to talk freely without covering up or downplaying pain is important for emotional wellbeing. I am active on the Diabetes forum as well and it has helped get it under control very quickly and has been uplifting talking to others in the same boat.
Can you maybe get a pet that does not need to be walked, cat, bird. I'm a fan of bunnies and guinea pigs. I recently fostered a dog who was neglected for three years, it was a joy to watch her learn about affection and how to play with toys. Nobody thought I could get her to the point of adoption, within 2 months she found the perfect home. It made me feel like I could fly I was so happy for her. Then I crashed physically, so I think, if you want/can, get a small animal to keep you company and to talk to.
My husband spent over 4 years in Afghanistan with very few breaks... and even though I lived a mile from my mom and even though I made some friends in a different IRL support group (for a different disability), I was lonely ALL THE TIME. I know exactly where you're coming from.. I didn't begrudge those who had husbands at home. I can't have kids, and I don't hold disdain for parents who flood FB with pictures of the first day of school or the last pool party of the season. I have to buy special clothes which restricts my 'fashion,' but I still like my friend's size 2 collection and I'm glad she has it...
It is hard sometimes, though, when people forget or take it for granted. Complaining your husband want to do everything with you, that your kids never give you a minute's peace, or that it's so hard to find gluten-free whatever... it makes it a bit hard.
The good news is you can be all over the place here and we will be all over the place with you!!
((((((((((((((((((((HUGGS)))))))))))))))) Mrsbobbey, Sometimes I feel alone... my Husband is as supportive as he can be BUT... I quit telling him about my issues. It was old to him and he really does not understand how I feel. So I found this group and this is where I talk about me. Here is where I feel I am helping people...Here is where I give my heart. Here is where I feel full. Here is where people understand me. We all come here to fill that void... nobody will truly get how we feel...except people who feel the same way.
Hold tight to your faith with that you know you are never alone...
I had been single for many years raising my kids, I was doing it all…then I met the man if my dream at 35 and 2 kids. I was diagnosed after we moved in…and got engaged! He is very supportive but truly doesn’t understand no one does unless you have chronic pain. He helps a lot and I am truly blessed but I to often feel alone. I think we all feel like that…but this group helps a lot.
Sorry to hear how sad your situation makes you feel. I have done both - live alone, and with family over the past few years. I enjoyed both for different reasons. Both have got me down for different reasons. I hope you have good friends you can call on and are able to help others in small ways - that's what makes you feel good!
I've been divorced for 12 years now and live alone. My kinds are grown. It gets lonely sometimes and have had a few chances to be married again but there are a few things that hold me back. I'm only 51 which is not a reason, but with all the health issues I hate to become a burden on someone. The are are a lot of people in my age group that are still into the party scene, bar scene and such; nothing wrong with a few drinks now and then but I really don't drink with all my meds, plus when you wakeup and feel like you have a hang over most of the time and you did not drink I would hate to add that to the equation.
I also like freedom. Freedom that comes with it, i eat when I want to, sleep/nap when I want or need to. Sure I'd love to come home and find someone waiting for me asking me about my day and sharing things of that day but....
I am very luck to make pretty good money where I can afford a house keeper, gardener, all of my clothes except towels and lnens. done for me.
I am real close with my kids and grand babies. My life is full. Plus I don't know now anyone that could put up with my work schedule. I am on the road most of the time, except lately I've had the luxury of working from home. I miss a woman's touch on home decorating and such. But I do okay.
I like quietness and peace.
Plus having two marriages failing myself and seeing so many others that do fail I figure why at this stage in my life.
I know you have to be comfortable with being your own person before having a successful marriage.
But then again I could meet that special person tomorrow and it could all change. None of knows what is going to happen or what is in the plans.
But my heart goes out to those that are alone and are unhappy.
Thanks for your in put Anne i have had both as well, I just don't have no meaningful day to day intereactions with close friends or love ones and having no one to talk to or share your day with a lunch date/ see a movie other than pain is my saddness.. seems no one is there anymore.since i became ill..and can't be of service..
My post isn't about not having a man or a relationship or needing some one to bring me happiness, I have a beautiful family kids i adore 4 beautiful grand daughters.. It's the lost of having them in my life since i became ill. my story is quite long so i won't attempt to talk about that now but you to have people in your life on a daily basis and good relationships with your family, I was expressing the saddness and depression of feelings of not being needed anymore since I became unable to be the person everybody could depend on.. maybe I'm just not expressing it .. I am on a path of restoration so to speak and no that I will be ok I just was looking to see if anyone could relate to the feelings of being abandoned .. Thanks for responding and sharing so happy that you have people you can count on.. Have a day, Bobby
Thank you for sharing your feelings and experience with us. I noticed in your posts that you seem to be a woman of strong faith. I’m sure that is a huge support for you all the time. I was wondering if there were any local religious institutions which you felt comfortable with, where you could ask for visitors to come and see you. Perhaps the pastor or minister of a local church or some of the members of the congregation who like to visit out in the community. I sense that your loneliness is very much a physical loneliness, where you would like to have a one-on-one talk and visit with someone. And who knows, friendships can start in so many ways. Huge hugs.
thanks so much for all of your support it means so much too me. I feel as though you really understand what i try to explain i don't always know how to ask for help i do think I have to let go so i can move forward. it hurts to open up and still feel misunderstood and some say bitter or angry.. thanks for the hugs
I know exactly how you feel. I do live alone, my grown kids are now living on there own and have their own lives to live. I have who live close by, but after my cancer treatments last year, it seems I didn't get over things fast enough for them. I felt misunderstood and very hurt. I made a decision to distance myself from them as I felt I wasn't strong enough to deal with this as well as the negativity and drama that went along with it. Winter was very difficult as I spent most of it indoors as the temperatures affect my pain so much. I've made a few friends since moving two years ago, but people are funny and mostly stick to their own families and friends. My life has changed so much like everyone since being diagnosed with Fibro 2 years ago...I certainly am not the person I used to be. I don't go out in the evenings and nor would I have anyone to go out with. I do have my two small dogs for company and like to go for walks with them, but sometimes I can go for days with no human contact. The summer months are a little better because I can go out and tend to my flowers on my balcony and go to the shopping mall as an outing. I do know some friends who live a little further away, but it seems every time I set something up it seems to fall through. I have learnt to not have any expectations so I won't be disappointed. Thank God for my Aunt who lives an hour away as she has been my biggest supporter and friend. I do speak with her at least once a week and we try to see one another once a month. Recently, I met a lady that works in a second hand clothing shop where she volunteers and I am going to start volunteering myself once a week. Its for a good cause and will get me out and seeing people. You can write me anytime and add me as a friend if you like. Everyone needs someone whether its near or far who understands and validates us. It is sad as we get older and may become ill how some family members need us less or think of us as a burden. You sound like a very strong woman with strong faith and I can tell you are not wanting to sound like a taker. We are all here to support one another. I hope your move goes well and maybe you will meet new people where you are moving...you never do know what the future holds and one thing I always tell myself and that is I am exactly where God wants me to be and in this very moment I am okay.
I reiterate what Belinda said. It is here on this site that true understanding is found and shared. However, while I have this site to lean on, I also searched for a local FM support group in the city that I live in and found one. We meet every 2 months as a group but human contact doesn’t stop there. I have made friends and we can call on each other anytime. Maybe there is a local support group near you where you can find what you are looking for. I wish you the best as we are all very alone with our illness in one way or another.
Thank you for sharing! It is said: a problem/ burden shared - is a problem or burden halved!! and this is so true. We sometimes just need to vent or reveal our innermost feelings to those we can trust and we will be surprised how less burdened we feel!
I do not live alone, but I find that I enjoy being by myself! because, we are not really alone - the Lord is with us!
Ever since I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, I have discovered how little empathy people really have - especially to an illness they cannot see!!
If you really need someone in your life, Ask and you will receive - the right person!!
Thank You Eureka , your support means a lot too me, I do like the fact that I have an advantage with time alone to a certain degree it is just nice to have someone to relate and share even your good days with.. I do Trust and believe that as I learn to accept the changes in my life God will provide me with those that help bring peace and understanding. would love to add you as my friend. Gentle hugs to you and God Bless
Hello Kas and thank you for sharing with me , I have been searching for quite some time now There are a few really good ones. but there are no local
support groups in my area, My Hope is to start one close by I have 2 hospital location that might be willing. any advice on getting started would be greatly appreciated.. Blessings to you, Bobbye
Ohhh Dreamcatcher You made my day, Thank you so much for your response it touch my heart that you took out the time to write me with so much paitence covering all my concerns and feelings. , I know that things are going to be okay and that God has a plan for me He answers my prayers and blesses me day by day I just have to be grateful and stay humble and I see it feel it and know that I am Not alone You are a Blessing too me as is this group, You are a answered prayer of the positive God fearing special people I long to have in my life. I don't even know what to say how to tell you with out jumping all over the place so I'' try to keep it simple, I am looking to reach out and fight harder and rise above the rejection and saddness with each victory that God blesses me with I will use to help someone else even if to me it is small. I was told I had Fibro back in 2000 thats been 14 years and Lord only knows how much I been suffering long before they put a name on it I have been through hell and back with drs making me feel like i'm crazy and drug seeking and I learned to fight to get the treatments I needed and deserved. maybe inn some way a lot of what i have been through from then til present will be a help to others here. Any ways I will stop for now and I so look forward to getting to know you better and I pray that things work out for you and that dr who treated you and your daughter so badly.. Love and BlessingsAlways
Mrsbobbye,
I’m so sorry to hear you are feeling lonely. I understand completely what you are talking about! Let me tell you a bit of my story and see if I can help you out…
I’m only 20 years old and currently live with my mother and step father as I am unable to work at this time and have now and of supporting myself. That in itself can often make me feel very lonely, as I see other young adults my age going to college and working and getting their first apartments or houses, going out and having fun at parties or getting married, having their first child etc. but that is just the tip of the iceberg for me, as I have been struggling with this since I was 12.
I would be so ill I would miss weeks of school at a time, my grades went from A’s and B’s to D’s and F’s. I was absent so often that teachers stopped believing in me and my friends got tired of waiting around for me and slowly moved on to new people and groups, leaving me to deal with the torture that school had turned into all on my own… Jr. High and high school were absolutely the loneliest times in my life.
I’m telling you all this to get to a point, when I was 14 my parents got me a chihuahua puppy and I named her dutchess. I can honestly say I’m not sure I would have survived my teenage years(literally I think I would have been suicidal) if it wasn’t for the unwavering companionship of this dog. She has constantly been by my side through every meltdown and anxiety attack, every day I couldn’t get off the couch because of how bad I felt. Always. If I couldn’t get up one day, she would just lay there with me, as if to say, it’s ok, I know you don’t feel good, so I’ll just lay here with you until you’re all better. The absolute and unquestioning love I feel from this dog to this day keeps me stronger than I ever could have been on my own.
I know it may sound silly to some people, but I am a firm believer in animal companionship for sufferers of chronic pain or illness. It can save lives. So long story short lol I would strongly recommend getting a furry friend! My suggestion would be a small breed of dog or maybe a cat, because neither require much outside exercise, but do your research online and check out personalities of different breeds to see what will work best for you, and then I would start looking in local shelters for a good match.
I apologize for going on and on, but this is something I’m very passionate about! I hope you give this some serious thought! And if you have any questions you can friend me on here and I’ll be happy to help out gentle hugs
~fabulous
P.s. I just recently adopted another chihuahua and named him duke, and he has only added to the joy and companionship I have felt from dutchess over the years
gentle hugs