I was busy yesterday doing some house chores that got a little neglected from the previous week. I had spent much of my time suffering in a pain. I was curious to know how much house keeping ( list of chores) can anyone do in a day. I am having difficulty balancing the house keeping so that I do not crash for 3 days. This week I got my son engaged. I am happy that he did not put up too much of a fuss. When I have good days I just want my house to look decent. I am not exactly a perfectionist- I still have dust bunnies.
It varies i do a little every day This morning i put a load of clothes in to wash and fixed ceral for me and mom for breakfast and thats probably going to be it for today. I try and keep on top of things so the house isnt a total disaster like i wipe down the tub after a shower and try to put things away as they are used
things are not the same for everyone.. i just try to do what i can when i can.. my house is not as spic and span as i would like it.
my husband does help with the cooking, washing dishes and taking out the trash and laundry. so that is a big help for me.He is not doing as much since he recently had knee surgery and is in pt and recovery. i hope you have someone who can help you some. if not you have to do the best you can and 'learn to look away' as my mom used to tell me..
When you are cooking does the standing tire you out? I have gotten to the point I am relying on microwave foods (frozen veggies), precooked chicken and other frozen foods. I feel bad so I try to make one or two real decent meals a week but I cannot imagine standing at the stove and washing pots and dishes every night. I have even gone over to paper plates.
Thank you Suzie for your reply. This past week I had my son help me out with some of the chores. It was a little here and there but I noticed a difference in my energy level. My back pain was constant for a while (all winter) so I could not really determine what made it worse but since it has improved I know what activities make it worse. You are lucky to have your husband help you out. I think as my son gets older he can do more chores. I am reluctant to heap so many on him because that is what my parents did to me. I am certain my fibromyalgia began because of the years of overwhelming chores.
I'm glad I saw this discussion. I do what I can and absolutely do not feel guilty about what I can not do or what does not get done. My daughter (9, will be 10 in June) helps a lot. I also do not feel guilty about this. She knows that I need the help and if she helps with the cleaning then I will have more energy to do other things (hopefully) She still gets to be a child and is learning responsibility and how to help others all at the same time. If I have to choose between cleaning or doing something with my daughter or granddaughter, its a very easy choice. Now, with that being said, I do have to keep the kitchen and bathrooms clean so my daughter cleans some of the bathroom for me. I don't try and do it all in one day. I have the same issue with standing so when I am cooking I am able to sit down between things and again my daughter helps keeping an eye on things. What dishes can't go in the dishwasher are rinsed off and will be there when I am ready to do them, the next day.
I think the most important thing is realizing that we can ask for help. For myself this was one of the hardest things, I had been on my own for so long. I didn't want anyone to think I was weak and needed help. Well, duh, I was weak and I did need help. That does not make me any less of a mom, friend, woman. My strength shows in other ways. So what that I can't clean the house like I use to. So what if I can't cook big giant meals everyday. I get to be here and watch my daughter grow up, I get to spend time with my granddaughter. (that makes me sound so old, I was a teenage mother the first time). What works for me is thinking of all the things I can do. I will not feel guilty about the things that I can't do. I choose to love the person I am now.
My house gets clean, just not all in the same day. And I am 100% ok with that.
My sis does our housework while I shop and cook. But I found myself in your situation while still working part time then going shopping afterwards and lugging the groceries up ten steps. Dead and in pain for 3 days, until I finally realized that this wasn't right, I couldn't keep on doing this. So I decided to find ways to cut some corners to feel better. First thing I did was take up the use of the electric cart to get around the store. Then I only carried the perishables upstairs and left the other stuff for later or my sis. Then I'd eat and feed the dogs. This helped quite a bit until I got worse. So i had to reformulate things again. And that's what I suggest you do, think about all that you're doing, think about short cuts and then use them!!! Rest as you need to. If you're still gobsmacked for 3 days, then I suggest dumping some of the chores. it's not right to be sick for 3 days after the cleaning, it's just not. You could ask your kids to help with some of the slack, if they still live at home, learn to live with it or else hire someone to do the most urgent of the cleaning. But stupid sounding things like using paper plates and plasticware can be incredibly helpful! I also throw away underwear now if it gets icky as it's not worth the extreme effort to clean it. Gone! I also clean floors by using my foot and mopping with it too, because I can't lean over anymore without horrid pain. So all of these things are shortcuts which help. the trick is to make up your own or ask for some here and then use them.
Use a chair to cook with, if you can manage it. And you can find throw away pans of the aluminum foil types. And instead of washing pots and dishes every night, why not let them soak in a soapy dish pan and then rinse them off in the morning? Although microwaving stuff works, too. Some stores even sell precooked meals that are pretty tasty.
Yeah, wiping down the tub and ceramic tiles really helps to keep the grunge from growing. Takes maybe a minute to do it but can save hours of work or the despair of looking at grungy grout.
By the way, the store carries really tasty soups that are powdery and sold in a bag in the soup aisle. I just add some water and canned veggies if I feel like it, then let it cook for 20 minutes. A nice hunk of italian bread and/or a hunk of cheese along with the soup makes a great and filling meal very easily. And a lot of stores sell foccacia, which is sort of like pizza only you can buy it premade in the bakery area. You just pull it out of it's wrapper, cut a hunk off and then eat it! Very yummy!
Thanks for your input Gaila. I forget that sometimes I lose track of time with my son and enjoy lots of things with him. the suggestions for cooking are good
My son found pita bread in the fridge and asked about tomato sauce so he could make a pizza. I decided instead of cooking one big pizza for one night I liked his idea and got English muffins so he can have it as often as he likes and the mess is much smaller. I am now using green giant steamers in the frozen section- green beans have been washed, cut and sorted through. I will look for the soups. If I remember correctly I did use them years ago.
I have changed the whole way I go grocery shopping now. I decided to limit my time in the store, limit the aisles I go down and ask the baggers to keep the bags small. Yes, now I take in the perishable and wait to get the dry good until later. There is also another benefit to this- I waste less food because I am focusing on finishing what I have in the frig. This is particularly helpful with my son because when he sees mass quantities of food he seems to turn into an eating monster.
We have to live a different life now but have some fun!!! It is SOOOOO important TO LIVE!!! If the house isn’t 100 big deal. If you just placed the toilet tissue on the dispenser and that was all you had strength to do; then “whistle while you work” your way back to bed and smile knowing you accomplished something!!!
I spent a portion of yesterday's morning talking myself into cleaning my 2nd bathroom in my house before I could not keep my eyes open any longer. The nap helped so I was ready in the evening to tackle it but my son surprised me because even though I have been encouraging him to read for the past few weeks ( and he digs in his shoes with outright refusals) he told me he wanted my company while he read an entire book. This was too good to miss. So now that bathroom awaits me this morning.
I'm glad you have brought this topic up. I am not happy that I can't clean more than one room at a time. I rent a very small apt. it has four rooms a bathroom and a kitchen. Not very big rooms, just big enough to get your bed and a dresser. My son has the larger of the rooms and that is fine with me. LOL . My point is also that I cannot clean the entire apt like I could five years ago. It pains me to be this way but I am not going to feel guilty about slacking in this department of my life. I can besides the kitchen and bathroom, there is not much to do besides vacume and dust, one room at a time. I usually clean each twice a month. The bathroom I clean as I use it, the toilet one day, the sink and counter the next day, and I know its not a green thing to do, but rather than wipe out the shower when finished, I have a bottle of Clorox cleanup that I spray. To keep the black stuff from building up. I wait until the tub really needs a cleaning before I give up all my energy to scrub it. I do the same in the kitchen as well. A little at a time each day, and if I do it early enough in the day then I have time to rest before I start on dinner. I don't eat out very often, and prefer to cook at home because I keep my self on a fat free/ cholesterol diet, eating home gives me that advantage. I make a lot of the same foods but cannot stand on my feet for more than two hours. So I try to make meals that only take about 30 minutes tops. I love fresh veggies, and I will exert extra energy and pain just to cut them up for a delicious salad. or to add to chicken, pork, etc..
I do ask for help when I feel really bad. I try to make meals based on how well I feel that day. I only make meals about three to four days a week. If I make to much it goes quicker, and my fridge always looks bare. LOL
I'm glad I've read all the stories here today. It has given me other ideas on cleaning.
Thank you for your reply. I feel less alone as your description sounds very familiar. I was feeing good yesterday and just wanted to have some clean rooms in my house. I bought a mini-vacuum like a dust buster because I find pushing large ones exhausting and I was able to vacuum some of my bedroom and then tackle my bathroom. It felt good to walk into these clean rooms. But by morning my back was stiff and achy. The Motrin does little. I am motivated to do more cleaning today but feel like a test rat that gets shocked when it touches the wrong door. I will do cleaning today but then wonder if I will procrastinate yet again.
How do you get your spouse to understand? This is one of the biggest arguments that my husband & I have. Almost daily. He says I don’t do anything, I had all day, that I don’t even do the min amount asked, he goes on to call me lazy sometimes. I have OCD & used to keep our home very clean now. I can barely keep up…
Anyway, how do you help such a closed minded spouse understand?
I solved the spouse problem of them not understanding, then criticizing me. I divorced both when the trial run did not work out. I was with the first one for 12 years and in the beginning he was understanding but near the 12th year he thought I was and had been manipulative and faking it. I was tired of convincing everyone that everything was real. I had managed my fibromyalgia when I met my second husband and I thought where it was under control it would not be an issue but I did worse and he became very critical. I realized I could not take it so initially we separated. We both thought we would get back together but after a few years we divorced. The two of them were very energetic people and worked long hours so part of me just thought I was doing them a favor by letting them go.