of a grief group. Now I am unable to find a place like this of a Grief Group for siblings.
I spent 3wks giving respit care for my Sis & Dad & helped as best as I could to help & yes, spoil my Brother. I spent a Horrible night with my Bro after the Hospice Nurse said that he was modeling. I held his hand & used my hand cream to massage his hand & left arm. I found on my phone a Navajo Healing Chant & placed an earbud in his ear, hoping to comfort him in his delirium. I talked to him. Sitting in a hard chair for hours was becoming Very Uncomfortable. Dad was there with me, I made him sit in the easy chair because elders always come before younger. I was able to walk around the "skilled nursing" establishment.& then go back to his room. At 1030P we were relieved by my Sis & Niece.
He held on for 7 days & it was Dad who was with him when he expelled his last breath. March 1st at 1003A.
Then I spent 3wks with Sis so she wouldn't be overwhelmed with the task of going thru his belongings. On Easter week I stayed with Dad because he said he didn't want to be alone down there with us up here. Then 2 weeks to sort thru his belongings in her basement.
Grief is the Most multi-symptom, Bizaro in it's finest, level of life.
It is such an overwhelming experience when a loved one is in respite/hospice care. These past few years I lost both my mom and dad and was with them when they drew their last breaths. For my dad it was mostly me and his girlfriend who alternated staying with him in his last 3.5 months of his life. Mom was in a coma and was taken into hospice and lasted 11 hours but she was no longer aware and not in any pain or discomfort . When she softly / gently drew her last breath I whispered in her ear, "
See you later mom ’ My gran didn’t like to say, 'goodbye ’ so as a young child we always said 'so long ’ to each other . I hope it was ok to tell you of my experience.
Not sure why I did or if it helps you in anyway . It was just the words that came to my mind as I read what you wrote I felt I could feel some of your pain and just wanted to send you some love at this most difficult time .
I am just weighing in with my support. You have been thro an awful time, and it sounds like you have had to be strong for others for quite a while. Offloading is good, and you can certainly do that, venting also. You must remember to look after yourself, and if coming on here helps, that is good also. I wish you well
Luna, I know we’re not a grief support group specifically, but this is your support group and you can always bring your grief here. Others here have lost someone special and can relate hopefully. I’m so sorry you are in such a difficult patch. As Anne said, remember to be kind to yourself and care for yourself at this time. Continue to share here as you need.
Hugs
Laurie