If you were an 'overdoer' before Fibro, how have you slowed yourself down since being diagnosed?

Even though I'm not a medical professional, I have my own theories about how many came to throw that switch that turned on the fibromyalgia. I call fibro 'the overdoers disease'. Even if you ended up here through a trauma, perhaps you did not give yourself the proper amount of time to recover from it, or your life did not allow you the time.

Perhaps the reason that society has so many people contacting this illness is the high stress life we are living, when we never get rested, we never have enough time to get over a flu or allergy, never quite heal from an injury, never have enough time to grieve a loss...

Is there a way you have slowed yourself down, turned back the stress to help heal your body and mind? Has it helped significantly?

Tell us your story, please!

When I was first diagnosed my doctor handed me a short paper that said most people with fibro lead normal lives. I took the med she gave me till I moved then stopped I was fine for many years I did not slow down till my lupus and fibro got together and took me out of work I continued to push working over time doing every thing for everybody I truly be leave if my first doctor had said we need to change your life the foods you eat the exercise you do the way you handle stress my life would be different now. Over the last couple of months I have made drastic changes I have changed the way I eat I go to aqua therapy I used to be very layed back over the years that changed well I am back to that I clean in phases instead of all at once I read spend quality time with the grandkids I have talked with my daughter because she has a lot of the same symptoms I had when I was younger and she is starting to make changes now that I think will make a difference when she is older. I do not be leave their is enough education when people first get diagnosed Their should be classes like their are for diabetics

Are these the big balls that you roll your body over, Rattled? Better be one super duper, heavy duty ball, if that is the idea!!!! I'm not nearly as coordinated or as limber as I was as a cheerleader (back in the dark ages) either, you know! UM BOY, can't you just see that on youtube!!!!!!

Hi pb,

I believe that some members have talked about going to classes, but I think by the time they are finally diagnosed, and get there, it is of little help, at least from what I have read here. Now on the positive side of this, there are classes, that is a beginning, and hopefully through feedback from the participants, this will drastically and quickly improve! We can only hope!

Just.knowing that certain things will cause a flare has forced me not to do it. But in some things I still force myself to the limit because at the time, it feels good, and maybe I will be okay. Sometimes I am and sometimes not. Its definitely a learning experience.

I know dena, and about the time you think you have it all figured out... it changes!!

Hi,

I was definitely and 'overdoes" and unfortunately I still am. I can't seem to break the habit. Sadly I have noticed I remain just as stressed and I know it isn't helping me. I am frustrated with myself as I feel I really should be doing everything I used to be able to do and equally frustrated that I can't. I need someone to tell me how to throw that switch the other way so I wind down.

Sorry for whining, it's been a bad week.

Hugs

Kanga

I loved my job and worked 10-12 hour days, and 1/2 day on the weekend. I crashed most Saturdays and in the evening. When I was finally diagnosed with fibro my doctor indicated that it was not serious and I’d just have to live with it. My body slowed me down, as the drugs for HepC and cirrhosis of the liver (from blood transfusion almost 30 years earlier) made me so sick I could barely get out of bed. On the days I have any energy, I’m still driven to get things done (go to the gym. Do housework, get a project done). Even when I’m really not well I try to set a small goal, whether it be put clean clothes away, ordering Christmas presents online, clean a room, so I normally get out of bed. I also get a sense of achievement.

I guess that’s one tip, prepare for things like Christmas, doctors appointments (list of issues) , special dinners (plan so you have ingredients and prepare things earlier) going out with friends, (what you’re going to wear) shopping (have lists ready)etc ahead of time. That way you’re not wasting your energy running around at the last minute or even the night before, or stressing out because you’re afraid you’re going to crash at the wrong time,

My world is not stress free, unfortunately I still get stressed over a lot of things I can’t control often for no reason so I look forward to reading others stories,

I was definitely an overdoer. My job was extremely busy but I was good at it. One of my former co workers used to tell me to slow down because if I ended up unable to work, there would always be someone to replace me. Turns out, they just stopped doing some of the things I did, or helped with, when I went out on disability. No more Scholastic Book Fair. No full center holiday celebrations. (We had over 500 Head Start kids,AM, PM and full day in a non school system program. Ours was run by a human service agency.) It made me sad that those things were dropped but due to budget cuts, they divided my work among the people who were still there, instead of replacing me. Some things got left by the wayside. At home, I still tried to do a lot and got very little sleep. I agree that the lack of sleep definitely makes things worse.

I have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (a genetic connective tissue disorder that causes the body to make bad collagen which is the "glue" that holds us together) too and have learned that most EDSers also have been overdoers most of their lives. Right now though, most with EDS aren't diagnosed until their symptoms turn severe. This makes any data harder to track imo. There is some speculation that fibro is another EDS symptom. (there are many which is why it can be hard to diagnose, plus lots of doctors know little about EDS) I see a lot of people on the support groups that have both anyway. A recent article (I dont remember the link) even suggests that fibro could be a form of EDS but I'm not sure about that. There are doctors studying the link between them though.

I belong to the EDS group here on Bens Friends too and it helps a lot, as does this one. With facebook, yahoo and more, I probably belong to too many groups lol. I still do have a tendency to overdo but yes I have had to slow myself down. My house is a mess for one, but my mom sister and nephew are living with us right now and I just can't clean up after all of us. My mom has fibro too and my sister works, but when they move out I'm hoping it can be uncluttered and stay that way. There is still a lot of other things I want to do, and places I want to go, but I have no choice but to spend a lot of time in bed. It does help to try to let go of some of the stress but it's not easy. It took a lot of self reflection for me to decide that I just had to BE happy and let go of anything that I couldn't change. Still trying but am much happier than I was.

I was also surprised that mild PT did help some.I started seeing a physical medicine Dr who actually knew about EDS and fibro both so he ordered the PT and an OT eval. Turns out I have a finger that's almost in a full swan neck deformity and I'm going to have to wear finger splints. The PT was gentle and did help my strength some. I loved the recumbent stair stepper the most because it held my loose joints together while I used it. Ahhh blissful time without any knee or hip dislocations. The shoulders still went a few times though. I used a Yoga ball there and want to get one. My exercises with one were digging my heels into it and using it to lift my body up and down while my feet were on it. I did get a little stronger bit it's definitely an ongoing process.I think I'm pretty strong mentally now but it did take a long time to get here. I'm glad we have each other for support though.

Hugs to all who need one!

Susan ! aka water

I think it's only natural for people to do as much as they possibly can for as long as they possibly can. Now that I'm almost totally bedridden with lupus, fibro and a dozen other problems, I STILL do as much as I possibly can for my physical limitations, but I barely recognize myself compared to who I used to be, slightly obsessive and hyper.

Good to hear from you kanga, I don't think you're whining! You're being honest, and you aren't the only one who overdoes to this day! I have read these pages of discussions and blogs, profiles, I see it still going on! I have pushed myself into repeated 'crashes', just trying to get well!

My big overdo is when I have the kids, but I'll do that as long as I possibly can, they deserve to know the best part of me, at least in glimpses! They give me the fuel to do everything I do to keep living!

I've talked to my Doctors about this, have you? Hope you can get to a better place with this, kanga!

Hi B,

I think we also push ourselves because we still have a lot to do, no one is there to step in or step up to fill that void our illness has created. My applause to all who still have children at home who fight fibro, any illness really.

See you know about the 'crash' too! It's devastating, and it's a long way out of it too! With all you have gone through, and continue to go through it's a wonder you can even set a goal, and bravo for achieving one!

Hey waves,

Sounds like you are getting there, getting to the part where you are dealing with limitations, it's a bear, I know!

Your EDS has to be debilitating in so many ways, but glad to know that the PT, with a knowing instructor, is helping you. Bless you for taking in your family, that tells me a lot about you!

I'm glad we have each other too! We Susan's need to stick together!

I think, "overdoing" things is a big cause for my illness.

i've never been a workaholic. Actually, i'm horribly lazy. But, I'm a person that constantly worries. I've been having anxiety disorders and panic attacks ever since I was 14 (i'm 30 now) and I'm basically running on adrenaline almost all of the time because of it.

I'm always thinking about things too much, too often, re- and rethinking things... this kind of stuff. My mind is never really calm (I also was born with ADHD)

I, personally, think that my fibro is simply the punishment I got for overstressing myself needlessly. I still have trouble keeping myself in check in that department

I'm trying to take things slow, leave things be, just chill out and develope a "devil may care" attitude... but I really can't ^^; I am constantly excited, be it in good and happy or worried and scary ways.

But really, it's fascinating to observe my own illness, because... really, it's like a punishment and a protection all at the same time. Now, the fibro FORCES me to take things slow. To relax and look out and care for myself. If I don't and I overdo it, I have to pay the price in the form of pains, aches or exhaustion.

I'm an optimist. Not a natural one, but I made myself be optimistic. It's a self-protection thing I've made for myself, because, if I didn't believe that everything will be good in the end, I would not be here anymore. I enjoy life and I take pleasure and happiness whereever I can. I am not ashamed to laugh out loud to myself or in public at silly kitty videos or lame stories. I watch funny cartoons and I don't care about how an adult should behave in that department XD

When I first got the diagnosis, I was relieved. Because the other possibility would have been polyarthritis. And I was SO relieved that it wasn't rheuma. When I slowly learned (because my doc only told me the name of what I have, that it won't kill me and then sent me home) what fibro really means, I was scared. Very, very scared because, really, the future doesn't look too happy, considering my light and bearable symptoms might worsen and make me lose my job and health.

BUT. I somehow pulled myself up again and now, I try to see my fibro as a good thing. A good thing always with me to protect me from overworking myself. It's also the best excuse I have to finally, finally allow myself all those little, wonderful "wellness" things. Like visiting a hot-water indoor pool, a spa, just lounging on the couch the entire day on weekends...

long thing short: fibro is definitely for me to slow down and care for myself better

Hi Sheila,

Glad you are feeling well enough to be on the site a bit! You are so right, it's just part of who we are to do as much as we can, for as long as we can. My Mom was telling me all of the things we never got done the other day, and I listened and then responded that when it's all over, there are going to be things that never got done, so not to worry about it too much! I'm getting more Bohemian about things everyday! Bohemian in the sense of responding "no problem."

Dwaggie, I've missed you!

See, I think you're getting there, getting into that Bohemian state, who knows maybe it's a Rostafarian state, you know the 'no problem, man' thing, that state of slowing down and not worrying so about everything!

Yes, that fight or flight thing got ramped on us, and spun us into this state, it really is a kind of protection thing, if we think about it. It's our bodies and minds trying to speak to us, takes a lot of work to break those innate compulsions to 'go, go, go', and our bodies are saying "no, no, no"!

Be good to yourself, Dwaggie, glad to hear from you, girl!

Yes I was an over doer.. I thought I was doing fine I was working 8-16 hrs a day as a nurse and taking are of 2 grandchildren . then in less than 5 years I lost my mother , 4 sisters, 3 brothers, and my husband. As if that wasn't enough I contacted hepatitis C from a needle jab from one of my patients. I lost my home then a DUI slammed into me and I lost my ability to work and lost my job.

Well that put this "I can do it myself person flat on her setter" During this tine I began to hurt so bad I would set in rocking chair and just rock and cry. Doctor just said get a job and the depression will go. finally I went to a doctor that told me that I had fibro but she didn't know a whole lot about it.

Then my family got tired of helping me and encouraged me to marry this man, he said he had a good job and would take care of me. that he loved me . That went out the window, on the night of our honeymoon when he said he didn't want anything to do with me and that I had to put my home in his name ( had finally got myself another home) well he moved into my guest room and that is where he is now.(I was afraid to tell my children what had happened. So I tried to do it all again and the fibro got worse.

Now the man has cancer and again I have to push myself and go on. Sometimes I just wish I just could lie down and never get up but then who would do all the stuff that needs to be done. LOL.. I don't see any rest for me. If you have an answer let me know.

Hi SK

Slowing down, pacing, asking "Can it wait for another time? Is a circumstance worth getting upset about? " These are all things I am constantly trying to improve. Fibro will absolutely not let me go past what my body cannot deal with or the hammer comes down. It can't get any simpler then that for me.

I've had to learn to respect my body's needs and the most vital one is to conserve energy. It doesn't take long to use it all up. Yes, I was a major Type A, but I also know people with Fibro that are not. This disease has no boundaries but I would think that a large percentage of Type A's are more susceptible.

I live a very quiet, simple life. I've lost a great deal in terms of relationships, jobs and general quality of life. However hard the lessons have been, I'm still here. I take things very slow. I stop and think about my next move and how it will affect me 2 days from now. It's a lot of weighing the consequences of my actions because ultimately, I will be the one to suffer physically. Everybody else will be able to go about their lives without having to really think the way we need to.

I've discovered new ways to be creative without blowing myself out. When I am able, I paint on canvas, take very slow walks around my neighborhood and take pictures of flowers and nature. I enjoy watching DVD's. I have to "choose" to enjoy simple things, rather then going Mach V with my hair on fire. ;)

I in no way want to give the impression that all this is easy. It has taken many years and a great deal of sacrifice and grief. I don't always listen to my own counsel and I still run the gauntlet of grief and loss.

The important part is that we have the support that was not available years ago. It makes a huge difference in how my day goes.

Well, that's my input. Onward and Sideways ;) (that's actually a book).

So true Susan. I have learned to not feel too guilty about the things I couldn't get done. That was a huge learning curve.

I would not totally discount this theory at all,but my onset seemed to coinside with Lymes' I don't think all of us have the same thing though,just as not all MS patients are not all the same condition