Hi,
I’ve had Fibromyalgia for… As long as I can remember. I’m 48 and it’s been HARD for me to ‘realize’ that it’s OK to slow down. I used to run around, doing my grocery shopping, cleaning my house, errands, etc… I was literally RUNNING! Now, I have to go at a slower pace… I have to REMIND myself that it’s OK to walk slower… To take more time to PLAN my shopping, etc. I think we are our ‘own worst critics’… If you look at the world around you, MOST people aren’t ‘stressing’ (or maybe they are deep inside)… Lol! But NO ONE is ‘judging’ you on HOW FAST you can go!
I went to get an RX today… I had to get a few extra items… I was DREADING going ‘out in public’, but, I made a list, took my time and I actually was proud of myself because I accomplished my goal!
Think about this… When you are driving, there are people who RACE to the next Stop sign… They get there a SECOND before you do, but you ALWAYS see them at the NEXT Stop sign… THEY are stressed-OUT, in a HURRY… YOU don’t have to be in a RUSH! It’s OK to SLOW DOWN! What makes a bit of difference if you ‘get there’ 5 minutes later?? We can SLOW DOWN… Be OK and HAPPY!
I think, for me, I am WAY TOO HARD on myself… As Humans, we do.
Having Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue isn’t something we ASKED FOR… But, we have to MANAGE it… Be KIND to yourself…
My point is, ‘IT’S OK TO SLOW DOWN’… you WILL ‘get there’ and you MIGHT enjoy some of the BEAUTY along the way… I’m going to make this MY GOAL…
Hi Diana, what a great post this is! What a great topic! Thanks for reminding us of this, as we do need to be reminded!
I have said so many times before that Fibro seems to be the 'Overdoer's Illness', and I bet you'll find few here that were not guilty of this. Pain and dysfunction causes us so many problems, we do not need to fuel the stress that this adds to our mind and body!
LOL you're post was perfect for my day. I was running late to my doctor's appointment and it was a big deal that I needed to see her about some things that have been going on. So I was driving WAY too fast and feeling ULTRA stressed. My heart was racing when I got to the office. They told me because I was 10 minutes late I had to wait to see if they could fit me in before 5 pm. So that made me even more stressed and upset because I didn't want to wait that long. Then I realized I hadn't even ate lunch today because I was stressed about work and getting things done.
Luckily I did take time to slow down and did my Bowen Therapy and I feel much better. I also sent my doctor an email regarding a pain management clinic that she and everyone else told me didn't exist in my network. I am hoping to be out on short term disability in order to learn these coping skills I should have been applying all along to make my life happier and more fulfilling.
So thank you for posting this and it is a great reminder to us all. As SK says it is the "Overdoers Illness" for sure and I am sure we all have worked harder than we needed to and got farther faster, so don't we deserve a break now that we overdid everything before? Sounds good to me.
Thanks everyone!! I feel like we have a great group here! :-). We ALL need encouragement from time-to-time! I find myself being my ‘own worst critic’ all the time and when I have a place to share my feelings (like this site) it helps to ‘ground’ me a bit… We are ALL human… We tend to put such HIGH STANDARDS on ourselves… I’ve had THE HARDEST YEAR OF MY LIFE and thought I’d die… I had a nervous breakdown. My Fibromyalgia took a toll on my marriage, my finances and my self-worth. I think, for me, it’s about ACCEPTING WHAT IS… Not what we WANT it to be… Life changes… Nothing is ‘for sure’… Most if us don’t do well with CHANGE… it’s NOT comfortable! But, it’s part of life… Remembering that WE are NOT in CONTROL, can help… God has His ‘plan’… I’m not a really religious person but SPIRITUALITY is different… FAITH in the HUMAN EXPERIENCE… I’m not ‘preaching’… But, this has helped me.
On the days when I hurt SO BAD I wonder HOW I’ll survive another day… I remember when I used to be ABLE to do EVERYTHING… now, I just can’t… So, I have to adjust to a NEW ME… That is something that’s been hard… I’m a ‘typical type-A’ personality… But, I know that IF I can accept my NEW ME I can also learn from this… Again, that’s part of ‘the human experience’…
Love and gentle hugs to all my new friends!
I’m here for you… As I know you will do the same… Lets take this ‘journey’ together!!
Thank you! I ALWAYS have to remind myself of this… Being a ‘typical’ Type-A personality, it’s HARD to slow down… But, it’s about adjusting to LIFE… We can’t CONTROL life and we CAN’T let life control US!
Gentle hugs,
Diana
You’ve got it!! I love everything you wrote! Hang in there… We 'over-doer’s NEED each other!! I’m looking forward to knowing you better! What is Bowen Therapy?? I’ll look it up online but would like to know about your experience…
Gentle hugs,
Diana
Diane that is so true.I had to learn how to slow down and just enjoy life.I dont stress about other folks problems,and when i dont want to go anywhere,i dont stress. Its my body,I know how it feels I learn to take of me
This is exactly the post to read this morning from all of you. Soooo stressed at work that I think I’m going to crash and burn Meeting with my boss today to discuss yet again this busy time of year and an even busier summer. I know I’m an overdoer, but when you do something you want to do a good job. The guilt has come back big time as I don’t want to leave the school hanging. But I can feel the depression coming back and the noise is bringing me near tears everyday! Any suggestions, please bring them on. Going to google Bowen therapy for sure! hugs~ Sandi
Diana, this is such a good posting/discussion. I must slow down or else I have serious payback pain. So, I have to keep reminding myself that I must slow down. It works pretty well when I'm alone. It's when I am walking with someone else who can and does walk briskly. I just tell my grandson to go ahead and I will meet him at the next store we need to shop in..
You make a good point -why do we try to keep up with everyone else who is rushing, stressed, and trying to hurry through life? We are hard on ourselves unnecessarily! There is nothing wrong about slowing down, and many of the people who are rushing about are not necessarily living in a healthy way - heart attacks, strokes, etc. We are forced to slow down and think of it as a burden, when there are hidden gifts within this lifestyle!
Well since I have a scooter the people I’m with actually have to keep up with me! But when I’m walking with my cane people usually walk slow with me. I never was a fast walker now I’m really slow. Of course when your working there is stress to get things done. I worked for a law form and there were a a lot of deadlines! Talk about stress. But now that I don’t work anymore I find myself just enjoying the simthings in life.
Rachel - the talk went well today. We’re going to sit down with HR on Friday and talk about long term disability. I still have over 500 hrs of sicktime to use up and 4 weeks of vacation. I work 2 of the best administrators who honestly don’t like seeing me like this and won’t hold it against me. My boss and principal said that if he has to send me home he will. So hopefully we can find someone who picks things up fast that we can hire and I’ll just come in to show them what needs to be done at different times of the year. And if I’m having a bad day, then they’ll wait until I can. I feel so much better after talking. So now I need to have my therapist talk to my pain management doc so she’ll revise my FMLA paperwork. It shouldn’t be hard, but one never knows. Not how I wanted to leave, but I can always come back!
I agree with you, we all need to learn to slow down! I was trying to clean up our summer room today, and realized, hey it doesn't all have to be done today. I too think we all push ourselves to much! Thank you for the great posting, hugs, Jackie
This is good news Sandi. I know it's not how you wanted to leave. You have done such a great job at your work that you seem hard to replace. Maybe someone can come in and learn what you do. It won't be you, but someone can learn. It's wonderful that the door is left open for you too. That is how I left my job and I did go back for awhile. I hope your FMLA paperwork goes well. It will.
I can very much relate to your sensitivity to noise. It's one of my most difficult problems to deal with. Makes it hard to go out in public at all sometimes. What a relief that you may soon have a choice to stay home. You have earned it!
Very good message, Diane. Also, as you state, we have to learn how to manage our fibro through pacing ourselves. Fibro will just about do us in if we refuse to slow down and do as our body needs. And it seems that the longer we have it, the more we need to slow down and manage the fibro more.
Meeting with my boss today to discuss yet again this busy time of year and an even busier summer. I know I’m an overdoer, but when you do something you want to do a good job. The guilt has come back big time as I don’t want to leave the school hanging. But I can feel the depression coming back and the noise is bringing me near tears everyday! Any suggestions, please bring them on. Going to google Bowen therapy for sure! hugs~ Sandi