Lately my mental health is suffering due to some family drama.It seems i annoy people and one suposed friend is annoyed by me talking about my arthritis and fibromyalgia.so im cutting her out of my life slowly.i feel reallly depressed and in some pain.I dont know where to start to stop being annoying.sigh.
Hello Queenpink,
I am really sorry to hear about the problems you are experiencing. But first, may I say, you look like a lovely young lady, and I love the hair! I guess you are a fan of pink - me too! Much to the annoyance of my family, sometimes! When I love something, and a lot of things in my house are pink, my partner says.... but it's pink..
I think this condition is quite consuming, so naturally we might talk about it a lot. Is this the bit where you are annoying comes in? It is incredibly difficult for anyone else to understand it. Hopefully you can point friends and family towards articles that may help them gain a little understanding, and be more sympathetic towards you.
Importantly, you must take care of your mental health, have you told your doctor? Perhaps he can offer some sort of counselling, or CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy).
I don't know how you stop being annoying, p'raps you are, p'raps you're not. People who really love you will understand. So don't beat yourself up about it.
Take care, Anne
Thanks for youe reply.alli sat to the woman is that im in pain or im sick with an infection and that annoys her.Not my fault that im sick.
Hi Queenpink, I'm sorry for all you are going through. Unfortunately, it is normal. Since we "look normal", people don't understand the pain we are in. It ISN'T your fault.Just try and remember that. Even most Drs don't get this yet, so our families and friends really don't get it. Take care of You. I hope things get better for you. Hugs. Jenny
Queen,
It certainly isn’t your fault you are sick. There is a blog post on grief in Positive Pick-Me-Ups which discusses how to build a circle of support in which you selectively choose to discuss your health with only those who have proven they can be supportive of you. Please take a look at the post. I think you will find it especially helpful.
Hugs,
Laurie
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Queenpink said:
Thanks for youe reply.alli sat to the woman is that im in pain or im sick with an infection and that annoys her.Not my fault that im sick.
Hello, QueenPink! Some people like to be the center of attention at all times; perhaps they feel like you are taking everyone’s attention off of them and onto yourself. That isn’t your intent & anyone that knows & loves you knows that much about you. So, if your friend does not really want to know how you are feeling, then she should not ask! Perhaps she might rather trade places with you-I wonder what her complaint would be then? You know I have come to the realization that most people only ask how you are feeling out of nothing else to say; they most often don’t really care how we feel, they are just making small talk. For those folks, when they ask how I am, I just nod my head & say “fine”. I find it easier that way-everyone stays happy. I only open up to those folks who really care. While it may be true that family will even get frustrated by our illness at times, they are in good company: we are frustrated by it, too. Our health issues take so much away from us; we don’t need unnecessary drama or stress. You can not allow others to make you feel like this; it is your health that suffers, not theirs. Don’t share as much with those that neither care nor understand. Save what matters for those that matter most to you. HUGS from Deb
hi QP. i agree with what the others have said. My daughter would always tell me when i felt some guilty or negative feelings about being ill that 'its not your fault mom'.. So i have come to get that in my brain and realize it is not anyone's fault for being ill.As Deb said above keep the information about your health to those that are really interested and concerned about you for real. For the others keep it as brief as possible. Here you can share it all and never feel judged, criticized or that you are annoying anyone.. Please take care of your mental health ,make sure your meds are right or tweak them if you have to. i know you have not been able to sleep many times and i hope that situation has improved. all the best
HUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGS
Suzie
Huggggs QP, so sorry that you feel this way! It's not your fault you're sick. One of the reasons I joined this group to begin with is because I was seeing the signs that the people in my life, even the ones who love me, don't understand and really quickly begin to think i'm a whiner. I value my family and friends and love them very much, but if i am looking to have a discussion about my pain, or about how sad I am today, I come here, because my friend here really do understand. xoxo
Thanks tickle for your support and kind words.You are right my friends here do undersand :)
Ticklefrom said:
Huggggs QP, so sorry that you feel this way! It's not your fault you're sick. One of the reasons I joined this group to begin with is because I was seeing the signs that the people in my life, even the ones who love me, don't understand and really quickly begin to think i'm a whiner. I value my family and friends and love them very much, but if i am looking to have a discussion about my pain, or about how sad I am today, I come here, because my friend here really do understand. xoxo