I havent been doing to best. Still struggling with acceptance that my life will never be the same and that i will miss out on many things. i try to push myself so hard. and usually that would be a good thing but not in our case. we just get worse. no one understands me or even wants to understand.
i finally got a chance to sit with my mother and talk and tell her whats on my mind and how this thing is going to be the death of me. she was quiet and didnt say much. later that night when i walked past her room she seen me in pain and i started to say something. she said "stop whinning and just pray and go on with your life."
that hurt me because although i know some answers can be resolved through a higher belief and spiritual system when praying. its not likely that it will make me wake up tomorrow with no pain. i cant just go on life nor do i even want to. i dont want to wake up half the time. i feel like im going to have a nervous breakdown soon. i think ill end up in a hospital soon if i dont figure something out.
my pain is so bad. and ive gotten so used to the infamous lie and line "im okay" that no one would ever suspect that i feel like im already dead inside.
a 24yr old girl with no kids, no family of her own still at her mothers house. constantly in bed because the word is too much to take in. its overwhelming. too much anxiety and pain and all alone. i have nowhere to turn to. no help..... i dunno the next step in my life or where to turn to. i dunno what to do. i dunno what normal is. im tired....
i have to babysit just to afford my meds. and that doesnt even cover the cost. hes 2 and too much for me to handle with my nerves, anxiety attacks, and pain. ive said this over and over to my family. i just want to go out that door and never look back. but the bad thing is i have nothing now. and no help. no friends. nothing. they told me that the person who drops him off to me cant watch him because shes in too much pain and shes always hurting and that they feel bad for the lady basically. they say its too much for her. HELLLLOOOOOO what about me. do anyone ever stop to think that maybe im in pain. i do have fibromyalgia and its real.
sorry for me venting. i just needed to get it out. no one understands like my fibro family. i love you guys. keep me in your prayers.
for everyone who is looking forward to my writing. i have a poetry book im putting together. i dunno when it will be ready with all thats going on but im working on it as well as a novel. i dont have much time to write because of babysitting. then im just about dead afterwards.
*i have a ssi hearing coming in november. keep me in your prayers please. im so scared
Oh baby girl you have lots of WONDERFUL life ahead of you. I’m sorry you feel so alone and have no one to turn to in your life but we are always here. From your first post I have felt a kinship to you. Try not to give up. All of us in fibro land are rooting for you. Big Hugs and strong prayers…
So sorry you are dealing with this...you are too young to be having these thoughts. Please be strong there is a light at the end of the tunnel I promise!
Oh Teesa, I am so sorry that you are suffering with such pain. Your pain might be a part of the stress you have concerning acceptance of your life as it is now. Yes, it's true that your life won't be like it used to be, but that does NOT mean that it is going to be all the negative qualities that you are dreading. Once you convince yourself that there will be a new you the better. The sooner you start stressing about it the better. Your new llfe will be what you make it. You will be able to do many things.
I am so sorry to hear about your'e troubles It is an awful illness. It is awful to have nobody to talk to, but I was part of a large family and when none of them listened I felt so alone.
You are in my prayers, I feel for you! I understand that not everyone understands the fibro...In fact, I'm still learning about all the different areas and symptoms of this crazy illness! I only know that I'm not crazy and neither are any other individuals who are suffering. Good Luck at your hearing.. I hope to soon get a date for mine! Gentle hugs coming your way.
I am sorry you are having these problems. I hope they can get your meds straight soon. I have had times of long periods with almost a normal like. Try and work things out with your mom that is adding to your stress. Follow all the things your doctor says. I hope you get your ssi in November. I will be thinking of you.
Hi Teesa, I’m sorry you are feeling so down. You know that if you need help or someone to talk too you should call the hotline at 1-800-273-TALK. I know that sometimes it seems embarrassing or uncomfortable to seek help but professionals can help work through issues with you.
I think sometimes our loved ones ignore what we’re trying to tell them because they don’t know how to fix the situation for us. They cling to the only solution they can identify, which often doesn’t work for us.
I have to question what your Doctors are doing for you. Are they experimenting with different combinations of medications and treatments to improve your pain? Are they aware of what is happening and the situation you are in? Have you had an opportunity to try some alternate treatments to see if they help? I know that money may be a problem and hope your SSDI claim goes smoothly.
Venting often helps us reduce our fear and frustration, so it’s good to vent Fibromyalgia is not a death sentence, you need to find the right combination of drugs and things that can help you. That’s going to take your getting actively involved with your doctors to manage your health. Will you be “normal” again, maybe not, but that doesn’t mean you can’t live a full life with family and friends. Will you miss doing some things … maybe, but they will be replaced by other things. You need to fight to find solutions as we all do, there will be major obstacles, but you will overcome them. Unfortunately you’re not only dealing with the normal angst of being a 24 year old, you’re also having to fight a larger battle. Don’t give up, you have a lot to offer to the world, and I can’t wait to see your writing.
Please seek professional help to guide you through the maze, and we’ll all be here to support you as much as we can. Hang in there Teesa, we need you.
I just sent you a private message and I hope hope hope it got through to you! If not, I just want you to know that all of your feelings are so normal with this illness! You're a very bright young girl who has unfortunately been accursed with this illness and at a young age.
I personally know how chaotic it can feel when you try to take stock of your feelings about your illness. But taking stock of them is the first step in the direction of accepting and dealing with your illness. It's not fun to look at what you are going through and are missing. But it doesn't mean that things will stay static, that a cure or great medical breakthrough isn't around the corner, or you might not go on to do every single thing on your bucket list. Life isn't static, things change.
Right now, you just need to think about you and finding ways to reduce your pain. Could you possibly qualify for Medicaid so you would have health insurance? If not, many pharmaceuticals offer free prescriptions to people with limited incomes. I got my Lyrica in that way. And Cymbalta's patent ran out, so now generic versions can be made and sold at a lower cost.
As for family members who don't believe us, unfortunately many, if not most, of us have suffered from this. I always suggest that the person with the doubting family member print out some of our conversations about how we all feel. It oftentimes helps to open dialogue and help the doubters better understand you. And any one of us would also understand your situation and could offer your understanding and support.
Please contact me and let you know that you are okay. I can feel your pain and want to help you.
Thank you all for being so concerned. I’m having a Much better day. New day New blessings and opportunities. I’m trying my best. I appreciate you all.
I went to the doctor yesterday. Had a torodol shot. Didn’t help at all. But I’ll be fine. Thanks