I found this site today and I must say it feels like a weight has been lifted knowing I can come here for help. Firstly I will tell you my story, I was in a car accident September 3rd, 2010, I was the passenger and it was the worst night of my life. I sliced my knees up, my face was swollen and bruised, I broke my sternum along with many other injuries. For months after I suffered in pain. The doctors couldn't find anything though, they did find a bulky part in my shoulder with some fluid which was investigated with an arthrogram but it hurt too much and the images weren't clear. My doctor and an arthritis doctor both assumed I had fibromyalgia which was clarified by a pain specialist. So now I don't know what to do with myself. I was in denial for a while, kept pestering my doctor to investigate. Its my shoulders and elbows I am mostly worried about...they don't feel right. But finally I accepted it and I started taking cymbalta, which I couldn't stand so I asked him if we could try apo amitriptyline again and we did. It helps with my sleep a lot. The pain isn't lessened at all though. My biggest concern is now I can't do what I wanted in my life, I am so restricted and I know I will never get better. I used to love horse back riding but now I can't do it. I want to become a writer but I have lost all motivation, the pain is killing me. I know I have what it takes but I have become this lazy person who can't accomplish anything. I am going to be in a fibromyalgia course march 1st but I don't know if it will help...What can I do to get my motivation back?
I don't know. Exercise any that you can without doing damage. Yoga. Warm water gentle swimming. Baby steps.
I was in a bad car accident and I had a major surgery prior to my fibro diagnosis. I'm sorry this has happened to you at such a young age. I hope the medical community comes up with some answers for you.
Blessings,
L
Hi Holly and welcome. I'm glad you found our site and are finding it helpful.
In answer to your question: you need to find something that will help with the pain. That WILL help with your motivation, speaking as someone who wrote a novel (unpublished as of yet) after the fibro hit big time. It's possible for you to write again but you need pain control. Because, WOW, you've done a lot to your body with that car accident. I think it's time for your doctor to look for other solutions besides Cymbalta or Amitriptyline. I know my doctor tried quite a few things before we found Lyrica. Please press your doctor to search for more. My pain management is going to try alternative treatments on me too. Perhaps you could try those as well. I'm especially interested in the accupuncture element of it and will share the results with everyone, since so many people are in your boat.
I don't think what you're experiencing is laziness, I think it's fatigue from all of the endless pain. And that's what's draining your motivation, I believe.
And finally, i'm so sorry that you had that awful accident. So many people on here got fibro through car accidents. I don't think it's a coincidence either. Some sort of genetic switch inside of us seems to get turned on when we meet the right parameters of stress, and voila! we have fibro. Now if only someone could find the off switch.
Please keep us updated on your progress. I know it's a real struggle to get something that works, but please keep pressing. That's the only way you're going to get what you need.
Hugs,
Petunia
Thank you so much for your reply! I have gotten physiotherapy, chiropractor work done and acupuncture. The acupuncture was hell for me, I did it twice and I never want to do it again, the pain was overwhelming. I'm glad I can relate to so many people on here. This site has made life so much easier for me and I think it will be my new facebook haha. I will talk to my doctor but he's stubborn and doesn't listen well. I hope I can find something to help the pain control. Sometimes it feels like someone is ALWAYS sitting on my shoulders, like theres a huge weight and I hate it. These pains are all new to me so to hear about them from others really comforts me and makes me realize I'm not alone :)
Thank you Kitty! The warm water exercises are a great idea I really want to try them. I'm going to talk to my doctor about it :)
Hello Holly
Many members felt they were lazy because they didn't have any support so people called them lazy. It seems that you have not read enough on this site or you would encounter people who have said that so many people had branded them as lazy that they had come to believe them.
No, Holly, you are not lazy. When you live with chronic pain, that means 24 hours of every day, the pain wears you down. Also with fibromyalgia you also live with chronic fatigue. This is very different from feeling very tired after working. Fatigue hits you in the morning when you get up so you have very little energy to even begin the day.
So far you have not found anything to help with the pain. So, that should be your focus when you see your doctor next. There are other meds besides Cymbalta so you and your doctor need to continue searching for the pain med that works for you.This does not mean that your pain will be eliminated, but will be helped to a level where you can function.
This should be your focus and I would encourage you to make an appointment with your doctor as soon as you can and stress to him that the apo amitrypyline is not helping with your pain.
Gentle hugs
Rachel
I agree with everyone else. Lowering the pain will help your motivation. I also wonder if there may be some depression creeping in? That will suck your motivation just the same as the pain will, in my opinion.
Talk to your doc. He/she can help you. It might take time, and some trial and error, but it's worth it if it improves your quality of life. Good luck.
Holly, I am in the same position as you. My family shakes their head-I'm sure because they have no idea what to say to me. I had so many dreams and aspirations, but I feel like I need to deal and accept the fact that I have fibromyalgia and that I am going to be restricted in what I do in life. I just am not at that point right now.
The best thing I have done in the past month is find this site. There are people who are in the same boat and it makes me feel so much less lonely, or as if I am adrift. I do not take anything right now. I also tried Cymbalta, and the side effects were horrible and it did nothing for me pain wise. On a side note, I would really like to know the percentage of people that Cymbalta helps with fibro.
I am happy that you have found this site and hope that you find it as helpful as I have over the past month.
It's not so much other people calling me lazy, its the fact that I used to be so much more active and now that's all come to a stop. I just feel lazy, like I should be doing something more productive. Thank you so much for your reply it means a lot. I get so confused with this whole chronic fatigue thing because I also have low blood sugar which makes me really tired, so I don't know if both are hitting me or if I just need to eat more. My doctor is very strict when it comes to pills, he says I have to try them for a few months before I can declare them not useful. I was lucky with the cymbalta because I told him it makes me sick. Do you know of any other meds that can help with the pain?
I saw a psychologist for a few months and I really don't think I am depressed, I'm not always sad, I'm usually a generally happy person. I took Xanax for my anxiety because thats my biggest mental issue at this point but my doctor took me off it because he gave me the wrong instructions and I almost overdosed, my fiance was sitting right next to me when he told me how to take the pills, then I called him saying it felt like I was taking a lot and he tried to send me to some crisis place so I'm kinda weary on the anti anxiety meds at this point. I know I need them but I need the perfect ones that wont mess up my day. I also have been finding I can't concentrate at all, my mind is all over the place and my memory is horrible, this makes writing a lot more difficult for me than it used to be. But writing is all I have and I don't wanna give up.
My Mom is living with chronic pain from hard labor so thankfully she understands, but we get into heated arguments sometimes because we are both in so much pain. My brother is the worst, he can't understand it at all. He keeps trying to make me go out and get a job when I cant work at the moment. I do love this site for that reason, I only know of one other person who has fibro and she scared the crap out of me by saying "here's fibro at 60" while showing me a HUGE bag of pills. My heart sunk. Cymbalta's main issue for me was swallowing the capsules, I couldn't stand it, it did nothing for my pain and it made me feel sick often so I figured it wasn't worth it. When I told my doctor all this he tried to up my dose. I couldn't do it. So now I am really trying hard to make the apo amitriptyline work. I'm also going to be taking a course at the hospital in march to learn how to cope. I'm pretty excited for that.
This site is great for helping with the alone feeling. Motivation is hard to come by with fibro. I struggle with that everyday. I am a full-time nursing student and it is very difficult some days. The days that I must absolutely be out of the house/bed and awake I make sure I take all my vitamins, do some stretching, hot shower, and stay hydrated and eat small snacks often. That seems to help with the lack of motivation. The initial jump start is difficult. I have to throw myself out of bed onto the floor so I am forced to get up. I know it sounds harsh but it works for me. I have done it for years. Otherwise I just stay in bed for hours after my alarm goes off.
Do not call yourself lazy. Anyone with the amount of pain, anxiety, depression, sleep/wake issues, etc etc. would act the same way. You are allowed to be tired.
Holly, You've really hit at what's a major problem for many of us. I am a writer as well; and I also love horseback riding. It is a debilitating disease that we have; and we have to learn how to not let it run our lives. Believe me, you are not lazy. My guess is you are in mourning for the life you have lost right now. I've had fibro a lot longer, and I still have days that are pure self-pity: why can't I be the person I was? Tell your doctor about your pain, and try some other medications. Magnesium, although it can have pretty nasty side effects, can also help with pain. And there are medications designed to help. Are you taking Lyrica? If not, I think you need to suggest it to your doctor.
Here are two other suggestions about the two things we both love: When I can make it to my desk I check out what kind of day it is. If it's bad, then writing one sentence is a triumph. If it's a better day I set myself a task such as writing for 15 minutes. As you know, discipline precedes motivation. Laura Hillenbrand has chronic fatigue, and some days can barely get out of bed. But she obviously keeps herself going somehow.
As for the horseback riding--can you seriously not do it? Some kind of mild exercise is a great help to people with fibromyalgia. And if you love horses the way I do, getting myself out to the stable for my lesson, even if I don't feel like it, is therapy for me. I come away exhausted, but happy.
None of these suggestions are meant to make you feel, Oh, God, why am I not doing more? I know you hurt, I know you are depressed and probably suffering anxiety along with sleep disturbances. Just know there are those of us who are in your position. It's a hell of a thing, but it happened. We're with you. If you'd like to get a dialogue going with me--re: writing and horses, I'd be happy to. Anyway, welcome to the site, and be good to yourself.
Wow the words of wisdom that have come from everyone thru ur message is uplifting . I to have had trauma that has triggered my fb. I got pregnant with my second to last child many yrs after my oldesr was born. I was 35yrs old I was put on bed rest at 3mo when we found out r baby had a diaphragmic hernia. Because of this defect my amniotic fluid kept building n my stomach. So if u an imagine my stomach went from normal to about to bust n a week. Because of this I hade to endure many procedures to drain the extra fluid every week. The things we as women can go thru for a child. It was all in vain because r poor sons lungs never developed and 13hrs after his birth he past away n my husbands arms. 3mo after that I became pregnant again and immediately was put on bd rest and lost that battle 3mo into it. Then finally at 37ys I gave birth to r daughter. Again a very rough pregnancy and on bed rest the whole time. Thats when I began to hurt but I had been thru so much my pain tolerance is pretty high . Then I had a motorcycle accident which has given me chronic back pain and from then on I havnt been able to do much of anything but walk. Iv done the exercise it makes me feel worse so I just use a gazelle which is like skiing motions so its no impact to the body. And I use weights on my legs. I cant do any upper body cause im unable to move for days if I do. My pain is managed by percocet and muscle relaxers and I also take meloxicam for arthritis and xanax fir anxiety. I use icyhot a lot and heating pad and a blanket r my best friend. Im now 43 and well its hard I cant run around with my yougest daughter or my grandsons but I do my best and thats all I can expect from myself. Hopefully it helps u to no ur not alone I no it has me. I pray for all of us .
I am 50 and do not have a bag of pills. I looked for solutions to my problem. Some took me years to find. I guess I am one of the lucky ones because most of my pain is gone with being gluten free. I do have a problem with being tired and just have to adjust around it. Somethings I just let go.
You say you and your mom get in fights. I had to learn to walk away. Stress makes me feel worse, I would rather lose a fight then feel worse. A loud fight will put me in bed for a day. Stress is the biggest killer for me. So I had to learn not to get stressed.
You are not lazy you are differently paced.
Holly,
Your question is what can I do to get my motivation back? This seems to be one of the hardest questions to answer for all of us here. I guess the answer for me is how bad do I want to get it back and what am I willing to put up with to get it. When you first realize there are no cures or easy answers it wears on you mentally. I try and look at it like this. What are the most important things I have in my life and try and focus all of the energy I have left in those areas. I also praise myself for every little thing I accomplish in a day even if it is small. Small things are just as important now as the big things we did use to be. This syndrome robs us of who we used to be. It does not mean we are useless, it just means that we have been compromised and need to find other areas we can bring joy to our families in different ways than we used to. It has taken me years to do this and it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Give up the vibrant person I used to be. It is not our faults and we never asked for this nor would we wish it on anyone. Just try every day to do the best you can with what you have. The people around you will be blessed with a strong woman who is fighting the good fight.
Holly
I’m glad that you found this site it is a life saver, lots of people who know what you’re talking about. May I suggest a couple of things, one, your experience is shared by a large number of others, and eventually the medical community will work this out, they are a bit slow in understanding this condition, pretty hopeless in understanding chronic conditions, its part of their training, and really they like a test to provide evidence of an illness, which is not really available at the moment, we have to forgive them it’s the best they can do!!! Secondly try to find a doctor who at the very least shows a litlle bit of compassion, you know the old fashioned word of caring. I know I’m sounding bitter today but it is still good advice.
HI Holly - First of all, you are NOT a lazy person. Getting sick was not your fault. So get that out of your mindset. Fibromyalgia is a very challenging disease. One of the fist things I had to realize is that I needed a lot of patience with myself in what I was going through. I was so used to running around, holding down a job and raising 2 children, who are now in their 30s. I have had Fibro for 31 years. Unfortunately, Fibro is a progressive thing. There are restrictions involved in this disease as well. I was an avid horseback rider for many years and I had a gorgeous palomino named Frosty. A few years ago I had to give up horseback riding because it was too hard on my hips. My hips were the first area where I got my Fibro.. Your lack of motivation is very common among those that have Fibro. Many of us have chronic fatigue along with it. Don't feel bad or responsible for this Holly. You body is telling you to slow down and take it easy. I know it's going to be a hard adjustment, but it's important that you don't 'push' through your pain. It just gets worse of you do Please stay with us!! We offer wonderful advice and wonderful suggestions and we are up to date on the best medicines that are out there. I joined this group about 3 weeks ago, and I have made to many good friends and I do take their suggestions to heart and I really learn to listen to what others have to say. I felt such a sense of isolation till I became s member of this group. We are very protective of one another too. Yes, it can be really painful - it's unfortunate, but the more information we all get, the closer we are to helping us feel better. Have you expressed in concern to your doctor about being on a anti-depressant. This has really helped met to move forward. Also, please see if there are any Fibro experts around the place you live?? A lot of Arthritis doctors are now including Fibro as part of the category of Arthritis. Holly you can absolutely pursue your writing. Right now I know you are depressed with lack of motivation. This is all because you have just recently got a diagnosis of Fibro. It's a learning process that we all have to go through with this affliction take care of yourself Please consider an anti-depressant, if you are feeling really low about what you are going through. It has helped me tremondously! Laurie
I am glad you found us! We don’t have all the answers and everyone of us is different. But we all have stories with amazing parallels. A major flair up resulted in me having to resign from teaching high school. You will hear many stories about how those of us with fibro have had to change out lives. On good days I am rejoicing in the opportunity to reinvent myself. On the bad days I cry about all the thing I used to love to do.
Writing may be a really good way to work through the anger and frustration. Maybe you could write an article for a local newspaper? We desperately need people who can tell our story so that people understand this strange illness. Maybe a blog or twitter feed? Don’t give up on your dreams!! I am no longer in the classroom since the drugs I take make me groggy and ther are days when I can barely walk but I am now teaching my favorite subjects AP Biology and AP Chemistry online!
Hello Holly, I too was given a dx for Cymbalta, which I can not take. I would sit in a chair all day and stare. There was no way I could work or take care of my family that way. I was put on Lyrica, and I can not take it and drive a school bus. Now I take lexapro and tramadol. So far so good. I have been on lexapro now for several years and it works good. The tramado works pretty good for me. You may have to get another dr. one that will work with you until you find something that works for you. I used to be real active to and am no longer that way. IT was very hard at first and I felt like I was being lazy. I would get really mad at myself because I wasn't getting more done. With my husbands help I learned that this is the way it is and I have to make the best of it. It also sounds like you are dealing with fibro fog. I hope you find what works best for you. Sue