So Tired Of... (A Vent)

Support
1

I am just so tired... of so much and I need to vent,

I am tired of my body not working as it used to.

I am tired of being in excruciating pain.

I am tired of my brain not working as it should.

I am tired of nausea.

I am tired of medication after medication.

I am tired of my epilepsy.

I am tired of the vertigo.

I am tired of being unable to do things I should be at my age.

I am tired of hearing people who don't understand a bit make their wonder suggestions and the exercise one is the one I am most tired of.

I am tired of doctor after doctor not understanding/believing me.

I am tired of the hospital runs.

I am tired of the tests.

I am tired of being so sore day in and day out.

I am tired of not being able to get my needed help.

I am tired of fibro fog.

I am tired of trying to think positive.

I am tired of insomnia.

I am tired of the inability to do so much.

I am tired of depending on others so much.

I am tired of dealing with my health more than anything.

I am so beyond tired of so much.

Anyone have anything to add, that they are tired of?

2

I'm hearing you sister i no that tired feeling !....

I'm tired of dragging my body to work to no i'm going to feel even worse when i get home.

I'm tired of my arms being to painful to drive home, but some how i do!

I'm tired of not being able to walk more than a small block some days and not others.( i used to love to walk everyday at least 2 kms and 5 to 10 on a nice sunny Sunday afternoon.)

I'm tired of friends at work looking at you strange at brake when you have your legs on a chair because they have swollen like elephants.

I'm tired of being tired..

It seems i remember when i used to ................. feel good and could go here and there and i didn't get tired all the time and the couch was never used and i was once always on the go doing this and that and now i spend so much time just trying to do the basic things.

It's not because I'm having a what about me moment...It's because i really feel so tired all the time and on those few days here and there when i'm not tired and i feel like i can do stuff i tend to over do it and then ...YES! I'm back on the couch!..

See we are all just plain tired of being TIRED !...

3

You sound tired of being tired, we all have those breaking point days, that's why I see a Psyhiartrist to really vent my husband said last time I was there the receptionist had to turn the music up, But it does make me feel better to be able just let it go without hurting any ones feelings something to think about you got to get the negatives out how the positives can move in I hope things turn around for you it makes me sad to feel the pain in your words

4

I’m feeling your pain!! Just plain old sick and tired of being sick and tired!

Yeah, I love the “stretch and exercise” advice that we’ve all been given. It’s insulting that after waiting MONTHS to get an appointment with a rheumatologist, and you’re hoping for finally some better symptom control… And the doctor suggests “exercise” like you’re some kind of idiot that you couldn’t have thought of that on your own… Knowing that on those worst days, you struggle just to walk 10 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom!

5

I, too, see a counselor when these thoughts overtake me. I have had to quit my job, and with that came not only financial distress but a feeling of "who am I". I guess we tend to associate our being with our work, and I lost my being when I lost my job.

However, I am remaking myself and really loving being at home.

I highly encourage searching for a counselor who understands fibromyalgia so you don't end up where I did last November -- trying to end the pain permanently.

This group has really helped me accept my fibromyalgia and, with that, to begin formulating a way to live with the permanent pain. Thanks, everyone!

Wendy

6

You hit the nail on the head, Shaina! Glad to see you back on here. I think you’ve said what we all think everyday and are just glad to get out of bed! Getting to talk about this among ourselves helps me with this burden. I too see a therapist and she is very compassionate and knows so much about Fibro, but knowing I can always turn to someone on this site and know we all get it.

Just last week I spent 45 min. to my insurance company asking help with finding a doctor who knows Fibro. It was night and I spoke to a nurse on line and had to give my whole history. The frustration started once she said “you know the best thing for you is to exercise!” I asked her if she works out when she comes down with the flu and of course got a no answer. I told her to try it next time and then call me back and let me know how it feels!! She then proceeded to tell me a psychiatrist would benefit me and our call got disconnected. And of course, she never called back, leaving me in a huge fog crying.

Best we can do is keep plugging away and supporting each other. We know what it’s really like! hugs~ Sandi:)

7

Oh man the exercise one gets me every time grrrr!! all the doctors & specailists i have seen says that & i laugh in their face like really!! Its so hard for me to get outta bed, clean my house, do the dishes or wash clothes & try not to cry my eyes out because of how much pain i'm in but these doctors say, No! you are not aloud to take any kind of pain meds because this is a long term illness, you need to exercise,do yoga,go swimming,ride a bike... ugh!! OK i can't stand,walk,sit,or lay dn for more than a couple of min. cause the pain gets too intense but i'm suppose to jump up & start exercising without any help with the pain. I mean come on do i look like super woman or somethin?? It's so very frustrating that they don't understand or even care to try :( & then there are doctors that just want to give u depression pills instead of helping you deal with the pain, I don't know how many times i said, I wouldn't be depressed if i wasn't in so much pain.It's like a bad infected cut that keeps busting open & they want to just keep stitching it instead of treating the infection..Or when they say u have to learn how to live with the pain & i say lets go slam your hand in a car door and tell me if you can deal with that pain for the rest of your life with no help for the intense throbbing, achey pain,bet you can't stand it for one min. but i should be able to deal with it for the rest of my life with no help..I still hope to find that one doctor that understands, not holding my breath though :) It helps to vent every once in awhile & i feel your pain sister may God bless us all :)

8

I went to the zoo yesterday let me tell you... I am just T.I.R.E.D. Tired as h--- Irritated that I'm tired as h--- Ruined for the day :( Exhausted from all of the walking Determined to make more memories with my daughter. : ) YES I would do it all again : ) I hope you all feel better today and have a good week.

9

I'm so tired of being so tired that I can't move.

I'm tired of being sent to PT and being told that I'll be all but cured from it. BS!

I'm tired of using a cane, even if it's a beautiful one.

I'm so tired of being so fat, fat, fat!

But, Shawna, my dear, I'm not tired of hearing from you. i think you really needed to get this rant off your shoulders and I hope it helped! In fact, copy it and say it every day, if you want. We have the right to get it out! We're stuck with a nasty illness that no one can even SEE or APPRECIATE, so we have every right to get that frustration off of our chests.

I hope you feel a bit better from doing this. My gentlest hug to you along with sympathy. This is no easy ride.

Petunia

10

Oh Traci, bless you for making memories with your daughter, even though you feel lousy! Your daughter will certainly appreciate your efforts when she is old enough to understand the situation. Good for you for going that loooooong extra fibro mile so you could take her to the zoo.

11

Are your doctors NUTS? Do yoga, ride a bike, swim??? Man, I WISH! But seriously??? And no pain meds? ARGH!!!!! I hope you find "the one" (special doctor) who makes your life more bearable. Good luck!

12

I was given Lyrica for the pain, which did not help at all, but it made me sleep all of the time. I chose to go off Lyrica so I could at least be awake for some of my life. The choices are certainly limited. And to make it better, I have a blood clot disorder so have to be on blood thinners, which means I can't take any over-the-counter meds or what they call NSAIDs at all. I can't treat even a common headache! ugh!

Wendy

13

Thanks Petunia Girl, I truly needed to get all of this off of my chest and I do in fact feel a bit better from venting this.

Hugs

14

Wow Traci, that was so wonderful of you, you sound like one amazing mom! Hugs and hope you recover from the zoo trip as soon as possible!

15

I agree with Miss Petunia on this one, are they nuts? Yeah I have fibro so what should I do.. you know I'll ride a bike, see how much pain I can cause myself.. they do realize that with limited balance I fall walking.. how bad would that be on a bike? I'd be tipping or falling over till I got my balance stabilized and have relearned how to work my legs properly on a bike and then I'd collapse from sheer exhaustion.. Sounds great!

I hope that you find the doc that works for you!

Hugs

16

Sandi, that sucks, doing all of that to be told that a psychiatrist is the answer. I wish you luck n search for the proper doctor.

Hugs.

17

It sucks to hear you lost your identity but am very happy that you are making a new one.I have a wonderful counselor and I see him often. :)

Hugs

18

Stretch and Exercise is a very painful option and I wish doctors would understand that!

19

I am so sorry you're hurting. I've lived with Fibro since 1994 so I've look since learned to live with it, become friends with it and so on. I get it; it gets me. That takes time, though. I don't know how long you've had it but I empathize. The hardest things for me are the brain fog, the attention span of a baby gnat and being in pain of some variety most of the time.

Sending you hugs!

20

Whoo hoo Shawna, and everyone else! Thank you for putting words to what we ALL experience.

I can't imagine having to go to work with this (I am fortunate to be able to work from home).

I can't imagine having children with this (however do you do it)?

I can't imagine not having insurance with this (my heart goes out to you).

I would (still) be curled up in a ball crying (or worse) if I didn't have a compassionate Dr who gives me plenty of pain meds. I couldn't function without them (how do you do it)?

I spent about 6 months recently lying on a pile of pillows on the floor because I couldn't do much of anything else. My husband thought I had severe depression. I kept telling him I was exhausted and in pain. Then he got mad at me, really mad to the point of treating me with hatred because I wasn't 'pushing through' and 'fighting it.' He, too, kept asking me if I had gone outside, if I had done any exercise. This was in my own home, in my sanctuary, as someone said, the battlefield was in my home.

Then last week I had him read the discussion about flare-ups and he has been the sweetest and most compassionate, helpful man since. Thank you all for that.

He looked away from the computer and said, 'this is why I've been so mad at you. Now I understand.' And he seems to.

I was a sculpted personal trainer for 9 years until this hit me in 2007. Yes, I thought I was dying. I figured this is what someone going through chemo must feel like -- in pain and exhaustion all of the time.

My prayer is that everyone find a compassionate and experienced Dr. Yes, I have one for Fibro, but not for my Addison's.

And that everyone find a great pain reliever.

And that everyone has enough money that they don't have to work (I know it's not realistic but I still hope).

I love everyone for supporting everyone here.

VENT, VENT, VENT!!!! We need to do it. And I'm glad you did.