No sleep

My body and hurt so bad I can’t get comfortable. This tiredsome! My hubby think I just don’t want to sleep in our together.i know we are newlyweds. But he has get sleep so our son can get to school. I not going to bother his sleeping. Wht to do?

I have had my old cousin lut on facebook that I wouldn’t marry some ill. She rather die alone. That was after y married was 2 week old.

Dear Glenedia

Not being able to sleep at night is something that all of us fibromites deal with. I know that I cannot sleep if I am in pain. So, I have to get out of bed and go to my recliner where I have some heating pads set up and one of them has a massager. I have to sit there until the pain subsides and then I can return to my bed. I live alone.

What if you set up some heating pads in your chair and for an hour before you both go to bed you sit with this heat while you chat or watch TV? Then when you are both ready to go to bed your pain will have subsided so that it will let you sleep.

I didn't specifically read your profile page before I started posting here to your question so I don't know if you are newly diagnosed with fibromyalgia? Do you share information with your husband about fibromyalgia? It's important that he knows why you cannot go to sleep. And you may solve the problem of getting to sleep simply by sitting in your chair set up with heating pads for as long as you need prior to bedtime so your husband realizes why you do it and that it's not that you don't want to sleep with him.

Keep us updated here as to how this works for you?

I am praying for togetherness sleeping with subdued pain for you.

Gentle hugs


Thank you! Yes newly diagnose. I try to talj to him about the information. He say that I need learn mind of matter. I trying my best. But wht bothers him is he can’t take my pain away,and my son feel that way to!

It must be really hard for your son and your husband to see you in such pain and feel helpless. Yes, they would like to be able to take it away, but they cannot. As a matter of fact, neither can you take it away. That's what chronic means. You have to learn to live with it and with the help of heat and the right combination of meds control your pain so that you can sleep and be able to function during the day.

Trust me mind over matter doesn't work. But acceptance on the part of your son and husband will really help so it doesn't put extra stress on you. Stress ignites widespread debilitating pain which with take time to settle down. Help your son and husband to understand that it is so difficult for you to understand so you will share with them as much as you learn. Then it will be a learning journey for all three of you. Also involve them in helping bringing your heating pads from the microwave to you if that's what you use. You might be overly sensitive to bright lights or noise. I didn't use to be but I am now and that is part of the fibromyalgia syndrome. So, have softer lights in the livingroom and no loud noisy TV(Turn the volume down a bit). Sometimes my eyes are overly sensitive so I have a bag to heat in the microwave and place over my eyes. It really does help to sooth my eyes.

If you need more information about exactly what I use, just ask me.

I can hear through your posting that you are all really frustrated. Try to be calm because frustration leads to stress which leads to lots of pain.

I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 1987 so I have learned over the years.

Gentle hugs


Thank you! Gentle hugs

i know to glenedia x this is now effecting my sons i know there older , 21 and 19 my husband understands now as i have shown him this site which to me is great , i so feel for my sons as we are really close but i can see this is effecting them seeing me like this everyday and upsets them . i went through the menopause quite bad im over that now and have this horrible thing we all have fibro , betwwen the two id rather have the menpoause twice over . we have so much to deal with having fibro im quite new to it aswell it frightens me to that its always going to be with us , but i think ive come to terms with it , well sometimes anyway , being on here does help to strenghten our minds to get through , my love and hugs xx

I don't and can't sleep with my husband on the same bed and my husband has been understanding of my need. I have trouble sleeping alone, so my sleep is more disrupted when I share a bed with someone. I wake up with even the slight movement and noise. Sleep problem causes FM symptoms, so we cannot afford to mess with our sleep. You need to educate your husband on the importance of sleep esp. for you.

Hi Glenedia,

My Rheumatologist said the lack of sleep is from chronic pain, as if we needed to be told! We all understand everything that goes with this! Hopefully you can discuss this with your Doctor, surely he must understand that you need to sleep to function.

Wishing you some relief,


We did he has me on elvial

We have talk but it seems to go in one ear out the other. He say we should be able to sleep in same bed. So I try the heaing pad,which worked for 2min. Than it was restless the dr. gave me apill call elvial,but one thing make sleep all day.

I know how it feels to not get any sleep when someone is moving and snoring next to you all night. My husband snores very loud and has a CPAP machine but doesn’t use it because he thrashes and moves a lot all night and tried a mouth guard that the arm forces use when they are in the field but that hurts his jaw! He tried it for one week. So… I told him that in order for me to TRY to get any sleep he either uses it or sleeps in my sons old room. He now sleeps better because I’m not bugging him all night to stop snoring.

I have been married for 31 years and my husband still doesn’t fully understand how much pain I am in - but I’m a pretty good actress when I have to be. He has read literature about it and says he gets it, but I font think so. I am going to have him come to one of my therapy appts. because one of my goals is to get him to understand what is like for us day after day.

I can surely see that your family could get frustrated - I get frustrated myself over this disease. All the suggestions are great and could help a lot. I feel so bad that you are worrying about this so early in your marriage - the added stress won’t help either. Take care of yourself - we are here for you. ~ Sandi

Perhaps you could try waking him up when you are awake. Keep doing that and see how he will feel. He will eventually get the idea.

My hubby has had 2 bck surgery , two should surgery,and knee surgery. So he think that long a don’t think that it can be beat.

Oh, my heart goes out to both of you!

Know all about that, it's 6:23 am and I'm still up, so is Rachel, Renie probably is too!

Soon we'll need caves with roosts so we can hang upside down to sleep like bats, that way our poor bodies don't have to touch anything!

Hope you are sleeping tight, Glenedia!

SK we need to remember that humor is so important. I'm laughing at your idea that we sleep upsidedown. That should scare off any men!

Love you

Personally the things I do in this relationship, I sleep in the same bed as my boyfriend some nights a week as we are not living together. I brought up to him that I move in my sleep and am often on the laptop/tv/ps3 (all bright on the bed) but we agreed I would do no volume on the video games, not too loud tv and not too irritating like when they scream or do weird things just ones that aren't too exciting. And he has found a position that is comfy for him and when I get out and in bed I have to climb over him and when I'm readjusting the blankets and other things I say sorry but my boyfriend is really understanding about my sleep issues. I also have a memory foam mattress (300$ at JYSK) maybe that's why.

When I was with my ex, I wouldn't sleep in the bed because he didn't want me to have things on in the bed and so I slept on the couch most of the time we were living together. I did this because it was more comfortable and he thought it an insult. This is one of the many things that was brought up during the break-up (in no way was that the biggest reason)

I know that I'm young but this is my experience with it.